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Depression and Anxiety after detox

LuLu3883

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Joined
Dec 21, 2016
Messages
12
Hi guys. I am 7 days clean off of hydrocodone, after a ?short? 3 month binge, but not for the first time. I?ve abused pills so many times over the years, sometimes for years straight sometimes for months. I want this time to be different. I can?t do the same thing and expect different results. We all know that doesn?t work. My physical symptoms are basically gone, just dealing with fatigue and weakness but it?s tolerable at this point. The thing that isn?t tolerable is my mental state. Every time I?ve detoxed before I dealt with depression and anxiety. It comes with the territory, but it has never been this bad. I have an appointment with a new primary doctor mid September, and I am going to be honest and upfront about my addiction and my mental state and that I need help. I am not suicidal, I am literally an anxiety volcano erupting every 30 minutes basically. It sucks bad. Can anyone recommend anything I can do on my own to help fight this when it gets bad? Any advice is appreciated and thanks for taking the time to read this. I could write a novel length post with more backstory but I?ll end it here ?
 
Rather than having your primary care physician deal with this, any chance you could see a psychiatrist instead? You'd probably benefit from an antidepressant which not only would help with depression but anxiety over the long haul. You could see if you could also get a benzo script for acute anxiety and panic, though some doctors have a knee-jerk reaction when it comes to prescribing benzos for someone with a history of substance abuse.
 
Thanks for the reply! Unfortunately I have no health insurance and we are down to one income (my addiction cost me another job so my husband is pulling all the weight) This doctor has seen my dad, and does a sliding scale pricing so I know it?ll be affordable. You are right though. I am hoping to discuss and anti depressant and in all honesty I don?t want to take anything with the potential for me to abuse or even become physically addicted to taking it as directed. I?ve been through withdrawals so many times I just can?t do it anymore. I want to do it right this time.
 
I always get really bad anxiety for about a month after WD its my body adjusting to having no drugs, I find exercise helped and also not to let the anxiety control you, just keep making small steps every day and eventually things that caused me anxiety no longer do. What you are feeling is very normal.
 
Free, that?s exactly what I keep telling myself. It?s normal, it?s normal lol! It?s just never been this bad before. I?ve dealt with depression since I was 15 (20 years ago) before I even touched a drug for the first time. The PAWS part always is tough, And the thing about it that?s so messed up to me anyway, is that I know that right now my brain is trying to readjust just like my body and I know that this won?t last forever but it still feels like it well. If that makes any sense.
 
In the meantime, some homeopathic remedies you can try are lavender aromatherapy (helps with anxiety and sleep) and you would probably benefit from a B complex supplement. Niacin (Vitamin B2) in particular is said to help with anxiety. St. John's Wort also is said to help with anxiety and depression by boosting serotonin levels in the brain, but if you use it, it's important to tell your doctor because it can interact negatively with some prescription medications. Magnesium can also induce a calming effect, but you have to take care to not take too much or it will give you the runs. Hot epsom salt (magnesium sulfate) baths are also extremely soothing. Then there's always kratom and kava kava if they haven't been banned where you live, but both of those come with dependency or health issues.
 
I would recommend seeing an addictions/substance use disorder counselor. A lot of times the anxiety and depression can be caused by distorted thinking and automatic thoughts. Cognitive behavioral therapy and similar techniques are pretty standard treatment for people who are dealing with post-acute withdrawal. A good counselor can help you identify and correct certain aspects of your life. Seemingly small changes can have surprisingly big results.

If that is not financially practical, there are a lot of self-help groups that can assist you with the same process of working through your thoughts and feelings. Group therapy is beneficial for a number of reasons and is offered as a free public service in a lot of areas. It may be harder to find a group and get involved, and it definitely requires more independence. Generally group therapy is used along side individual counseling.

There are even self-help books. CBT can be done on your own, although it is probably going to be more difficult. A lot of times cognitive distortions become apparent as we explain our situation and thinking to others. Here is a list of common cognitive distortions, take a look and see if any really pop out at you. https://psychcentral.com/lib/15-common-cognitive-distortions/

Recovery is a time of self-exploration. All those feelings that you didn't like dealing with and masked with a drug now rise back to the surface. One thing to learn is that feelings are not permanent. Even the best and worst will pass. The next things is that you can change your feelings by changing the way you think. Your gut reaction doesn't have to control you and with work over time you can learn to change your gut reaction.

Apart from that, exercise and anything that really brings the "you" out of you are great. Being around positive people and other people in recovery can really help to stay focused and motivated on getting better.

EDIT: Also, check out post-actue withdrawal symptoms. They tend to linger for 6mo-2yrs, and include things like anxiety and depression. I know some will say "oh you are depressed because a chemical inbalance in the brain as a result of your drug use" and the solution is an antidepressant. I can't completely disagree with that statement, because there likely is a lot of truth to it, although I personally question the commonly prescribed solution. Depression, as we know it, doesn't just spontaneously happen generally. There is almost always a root cause(s) when explored properly. Antidepressants and psychiatric drugs like benzos have their use but are over used. The side effects, like physical dependence, are also rarely talked about and considered. If you can recover using a holistic approach, why risk taking a drug with listed possible side effects like anxiety, increased suicidal ideation, and seizure.

That is just my opinion, and we all have to form our own though. I'm here if you have any questions.
 
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I really appreciate everyone?s advice. The majority of yesterday was actually pretty great. Today not so much. I am stressing out big time over my daughters homeschooling, I am doing my best to change my thought process and try to react differently. I am very overwhelmed, but when we are using we put everything off. Feelings, emotions and priorities. Now that I am clean those things don?t go away they are there and I have to deal with them. Everyday gets better in certain aspects but today just happens to come with a lot of things to deal with WITHOUT numbing myself with drugs. I know I can do it, and I have to keep telling myself that.
 
Just wanted to say I?ve made it to 9 days clean! It?s getting a little easier every day, I still have my moments though.
 
It can really help to take things day by day when starting out. Also a bad day doesn't mean a bad life.
 
LuLu3883 you have to keep yourself distracted at all times okay. Try and be as easy distracted as Dory from Nemo she could teach you a think or two. But I know what you mean though. I was on the mdma based pills tripple pressed little fuckers because my tolerance was getting rediculous, for months taking them everyday and after those months it usually always has a hell of a come down that lasts days to weeks . I was cutting into myself in bad places beating myself up mentaly and physically because it's what it does. You sorta just gotta chug through it and go with the flow :) the depression and anxiety shouldnt last longer than 2 weeks :)
 
Hey Font, yep chugging through it is exactly what I am doing. 10 days now. It?s definitely getting better but something I?ll have to work on for a while. I really feels good to be clean ?
 
I had to quit oxy after finding out I was pregnant . I was so mean and miserable for weeks . Sounds so simple but I would just go lay in the sun , something about the warmth and rays just eased my mind . Sun and hot baths (the baths helped the physical and mental ). Sunshine, nature, water and vitamins . Let your mind heal before getting any meds , give it a few weeks at least . Good luck .
 
2 weeks clean today! I really appreciate all of you for taking the time to reply and everyone?s advice. Day by day it gets a little better. Physically I am almost back to 100. Still have bouts of exhaustion and some lingering pain in my arms and legs. Mentally, the anxiety and depression come in waves now, at least it?s not constant like a week ago. I?ve been having drug dreams, which suck. I forgot about those. I am gonna keep on trucking one day at a time
 
I?m glad things are easing up for you! I wanted to add that a psychiatrist may not be as expensive as you think ... even one that specializes in addiction. A lot of them do sliding scales.

For example, I?m disabled so I have Medicare and chose an HMO because the premium is low and literally all of my medications are FREE (I?ve got quite a few mental and physical conditions, hence my filing for SSDI and a determination I?m disabled. And one of my conditions requires more than one med.)

Anyway, I really like my GP (he also handles my chronic pain management) and my psychiatrist, but I am self-pay now. They don?t take my insurance.

My GP, I?m legally required to see every three months and it?s $70 per visit (any labs - I go to Quest, covered by my insurance).

My GP charges me $70! and spends plenty of time with me - I have seen him for 20 years and he?s been there through back and neck surgeries, pneumonia, referring me to my psychiatrist when mental illness was part of my life. I always cry in there, but we laugh, too. Anyway, $70 is very reasonable in my area.

My psychiatrist?-I?ve been with him for 12 years and he is a REALLY great psychiatrist, he really cares, sessions are a good 45 minutes.

I see him monthly or every other month. We work together on where meds I should take, etc. He is excellent, hands down. He asks about all the stressors in my life, recommends I try additional natural therapies like Tai Chi.

Before I switched my Medicare plan from a PPO to an HMO - I asked him if I could still stay on as a patient and self-pay. He said that was fine.

I was expecting him to charge me $300 a session or maybe more. He charges me $80!!! And he always tells me to ask if they take a sliding scale when I am between therapists.

So, I don?t think a psychiatrist may necessarily be out of the question. A lot of their patients are disabled like me. We tend to have little money.

My entire financial picture changed when I quit practicing law and couldn?t work anymore, determined I was disabled. They understand and some are great doctors. And the goal isn?t to keep you medicated unless you need it.

Perhaps you can ask your GP if he can recommend a psychiatrist specializing in addiction, and also mood and anxiety.

I hate to see you struggle through PAWS with a GP. I love my GP, but he?s not comfortable prescribing than an antidepressant?-and while I?m not a doctor, I am aware that it?s not their area, psychiatric.

I do have a mood disorder and some anxiety disorders. I was misdiagnosed with major depression and my GP wouldn?t even ?go there? as to the anxiety.

I think you?d benefit by a psychiatrist as they can evaluate you and determine the severity and changes in your depression and anxiety. That?s important for your sobriety.

It sounds like you?ve got this....but what if you could stay sober AND feel better? You stay sober and get some help on the depression and anxiety?-I think it will get better but you need help with that. It also will help your sobriety.

Importantly, I think a psychiatrist or therapist can get you on the path to understanding what underlying factor exists in you that led you to turn to opiates. (I?m not judging at all. It seems while there is recreational value to substances, a lot of us turn to that escapism as a coping mechanism. And then we risk having an addiction to deal with, too).

I think we have genetic predispositions to addiction and environmental traumas, a co-morbid illness that goes hand-in-hand with addiction, etc.). That?s why it?s called self-medicating. Unfortunately, it tends to provide short-term relief (alcohol is an example) but it truly makes things much worse. That?s where we need a hand.

The substance abuse counselor suggestion is a good one,maybe there are services in your area that can help you find someone.

I also think it?s important to consider whether your depression and anxiety came before self-medicating or whether it?s PAWS. Or both.

You?ve worked hard! You don?t deserve to suffer. Please explore your options and find a mental health profession to create a solid treatment plan for you. For meds, if needed. And also a treatment plan for therapy.

If you are religious, there may be a counselor at the church as a source of support.

I apologize if this message is overwhelming?I just think you have more treatment options with a psychiatrist. There are various medications, classes of them, that a GP won?t be able to help you mentally recover. Meds that aren?t addictive.

Meetup dot com is a good site to see if you can find a free support group in your area. Or simply a social club like a book club. NAMI and DBSA too.

Disclaimer: I am not a big pro-med person and Big Pharma flat out angers me. Yet, for me, it saves my life and medical advancement takes time.

Fortunately, psych meds can be very helpful although it?s not an immediate process.

Think about what side effects aren?t ok with you and let your doctor know. Me, I won?t ?do? daytime sedation or weight gain. I will allow an adjustment period when starting a med. And all the potential side effects listed are just that .... possibility, not probability.

I neglected to check your location (US or not) but GoodRx is a free pharmacy discount card. There?s a significant list of meds that are only $4.

Your county likely offers extremely inexpensive psychiatrists (and that doesn?t mean they are lousy) if you have no insurance. They can likely help you with therapy resources. They won?t prescribe a benzo for your anxiety, I don?t think.

Gel pens and adult coloring books, walks. They help me. Just ideas.

I hope you keep updating us ?
 
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Hey guys. Sorry I haven?t responded. 22 days! I feel good. I still have some physical symptoms which is crazy to me. Still yawn for no reason and still have minor leg and arm aches. The anxiety and depression have improved drastically but I still am seeing my doctor next week. I am really eager to talk about all this with her and see what she suggests. Hope everyone is doing well!
 
I still struggle with anxiety and depression after more than a year since my last lapse. I am starting a mood disorders group at a psychiatric clinic next week. I work part time and dont really feel like I am getting much out of life. I am hoping that seperating out the mental health problems will allow me to make some progress. And then there's my physical health/lifestyle ( heavy tobacco smoker, spend most of my spare time inside watching tv or online).
 
I really appreciate everyone?s advice. The majority of yesterday was actually pretty great. Today not so much. I am stressing out big time over my daughters homeschooling, I am doing my best to change my thought process and try to react differently. I am very overwhelmed, but when we are using we put everything off. Feelings, emotions and priorities. Now that I am clean those things don?t go away they are there and I have to deal with them. Everyday gets better in certain aspects but today just happens to come with a lot of things to deal with WITHOUT numbing myself with drugs. I know I can do it, and I have to keep telling myself that.

You can do it mama. The honeybadger that lives in my garbage can is also a mom, and recently quit opiates. She feels you on the rollercoaster of emotions that were so easily blunted by drugs before, and is also having a hard time managing them now. She is doing cognitive behavioral therapy and has chosen so far to keep her drug use out of the conversation. She is focusing on managing those thoughts and developing a healthy way to process the feelings that hit her - sometimes like being smacked in the face -. She knows you can do this and tries herself to focus on her kid when things get rough. You can do it for them and you can do it for you, these feelings are temporary and will pass.

She finds taking 5HTP is helpful to deal with the depression and agrees maybe a anti anxiety med is a good idea for acute attacks. There ARE non-benzo anxiety meds that work really well (Hydrozine) which won?t make you develop a physical dependence (might want to double check that, but she said it wouldn?t).

She finds the following also help:
- hugs (from the mr or baby, just being held tight can calm your central nervous system and make you feel better). Sounds dumb but it?s easy and really helps honeybadger
- exercise, when really feeling like the world sucks and always will, take 30, 60, how ever many minutes you want to and just hit the gym. If you do a full workout great, if you just do 3 hard exercises great. But getting out and pumping some endorphins through your body will help EVERYTHING.
- 5HTP, a daily multivitamin, electrolytes (if still getting diarrhea, honeybadger shit all over my driveway and just can?t stop getting the runs, which makes her feel weak), so immodium too for that
- SELF CARE. Put on a face mask, do a home microdermabrasion treatment, get a skincare routine that you do in bed before sleeping to relax and treat yourself. Try a hair treatment like keratin or something - paint your nails! Whatever it is that you can do do make yourself and your body feel good can go a long way at this point.
- Kratom (but see the other warnings on this one)
- See good friends and DONT talk about the fact that you?re quitting. The reason she says this is because having normal conversations can help you see through the withdrawal and PAWS, to normal life and that there are so many other things you can think about and do besides drugs. And maybe, for at least a minute, you can forget about your addiction.
- Accupuncture, massage, yoga - Again just anything else you can do just to make an effort to heal your body and feel better. Honeybadger always feels better about things when she knows she?s at least trying to fix them, instead of constantly ruminating on the problem and feeling stuck.

YOU CAN DO THIS! We?re here for you.

Gotta go, honeybadgers trying to get over the fence and eat the neighbors baby shower cake. She?s feinding hard for sugar these days and just can?t control herself.

- Honeybadger don?t care.
 
Sounds like things are gradually improving for you! Good stuff keep it up :)
 
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