Psychedalienation
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 28, 2016
- Messages
- 391
I just spent 40 minutes writing this trip report only to have it lost due to bluelight making me log in again after hitting submit thread. I am ... disappointed.
So I've wanted to write about this experience for a while. My memory on it is still quite fuzzy, and I didn't want to sound like I was substance ID'ing.
This experience took place around November of 2017.
At the time I had been homeless for about 3 months living on the boardwalk of Venice Beach, CA. I was 18 years old. I was very experienced/knowledgeable with drugs at the time of experience.
So it all started the night before. Me and my street brother Aaron were "spanging" (spare changing) on Washington St. by a snowboarding shop where we normally spanged for beer. Across the street, there were a group of kids, I'd say close to 15 of them, all around our age. It was a slow night as they were pretty much sucking up all of the money. They were playing guitar and singing and laughing.
Eventually, we gave up and went over there to greet them. They invited us to sit down and drink with them. We sat around and drank beer and laughed. Aaron left to go sleep and I stayed. I learned that they were what they called "train kids". They train hopped and traveled all around. They didn't go into specifics but they all had a hippie vibe and like they did psychs and partied a lot.
Eventually I left and went to go sleep with the street fam at our spot by the Parks and Rec center.
The next day, I was hungry as fuck. I had no more food stamps and it was early in the morning. I usually never ever spange in the morning because there's hardly anyone around but I was hungry enough that I went down to Washington and went to my spot alone to spange. There were far more people walking on the other side of the street where I had been last night so I moved my setup over there.
As I sat down waiting, I began to fidget with shit on the ground as I do. I suddenly notice various mini-piles of white and crystalline substances on the concrete. I dabble my finger in one and it leaves a powder residue. I suddenly become excited. I don't know what any of these are nor did I witness the kids doing any drugs the night before.
I peer at each pile looking for the most realistic looking one. I settled on one that was not a pile, but a few decent sized smudges of piles that once were. It was bright white and crystalline at the same time.
Now keep in mind, people walking by are watching me and I keep looking away and moving over as to not look sketchy and have the cops called on me.
When I felt I had looked sketchy enough I quickly got the most I could on my finger at once and sniffed as hard as I could. I quickly got on my bike and rode away thinking, "God, I'm such a fucking idiot fiend I look and feel stupid, why did I do that." As I shook my head I noticed a feeling. It was a sort of rising feeling in my chest as I rode my bike away towards my street family's spot. I began to think, "No way!! No way is this a psychedelic!" I began to see what I would call "visual snow". Sort of like the static you see on a TV when no channel is selected but rainbow and all around my field of vision. My chest feels very weird and floaty. My coordination began to decline and I begin to worry if I will make it back without hurting myself. I eventually do make it back and sit down quietly.
I suddenly begin to nod. Not completely involuntarily because I felt it coming so I accepted it and assisted it. A blissful physical euphoria washes over me. I perceive myself in a field under a tree. There is nothing in the distance except yellow field. A slight breeze can be perceived. I am surrounded by my friends in real life but in my head I am completely and totally alone. The world outside cannot be comprehended. It is silent and all I can perceive are my thoughts while lying under this tree.
It is absolutely the most beautiful solitude I have ever experienced. There is no self-consciousness. No anxiety. Just blissful lonesome. My body felt like a mixture of psilocybin and oxycodone. It did not feel like an opiate high but rather a dissociative/psych high with a lot of euphoria.
I can just remember feeling so okay with myself and analyzing thoughts peacefully. Just being content and alone.
I don't remember much else visually. The trip lasted a good 30 minutes with an afterglow lasting much of the rest of night. I told my friends what I experienced and they did not believe me. They laughed at me and said it was placebo or something. I told them I'd prove them wrong tomorrow.
I was silent and happy the rest of the night just observing my friends talk and shit.
I went back the next day and tried the other compounds I saw. They were large crystalline substances and I felt absolutely nothing from them. They didn't look anything like the one that made me have that high. The one I had tried was small, reflective like fishscale, and composed of tiny, TINY crystals that made it look like a powder. It was bright white and shiny. I tried to get more of it off the cement but could not get enough to feel anything at all.
This experience is actually one of the reasons I came home the month after and decided to change my life. This experience is one of the many, many, MANY crazy stories I have from being homeless in Venice Beach for months.
It made me feel okay with myself and I wanted to be alone forever like that.
I have debated with many people about what it could have been. People have said a small dose of DMT but DMT is not active nasally. 5-MEO was mentioned but I have not researched it enough to know. I thought it was maybe Ketamine or Deschloroketamine but the experiences I had with Ketamine prior were with much larger amounts of substance in my nose and nothing like the experience I had. I made this guess because it felt dissociative.
I think this experience is special because every time I try a new substance I do EXTENSIVE research on it for harm reduction purposes so therefore ruining the element of surprise and giving me a sense of expectation. Whereas this time I had no idea what to expect and had a wonderful experience.
I think I'm going to start sharing all the experiences with drugs I can remember because I quite enjoy writing about them and almost reliving them in my head. My memory is sort of fucked due to YEARS and YEARS of heavy marijuana use and 2 years of alcoholism but I will try my best.
Thank you all for reading and feel free to share comments.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_unknown
explevel_experienced
exptype_positive
roacode_nasal
So I've wanted to write about this experience for a while. My memory on it is still quite fuzzy, and I didn't want to sound like I was substance ID'ing.
This experience took place around November of 2017.
At the time I had been homeless for about 3 months living on the boardwalk of Venice Beach, CA. I was 18 years old. I was very experienced/knowledgeable with drugs at the time of experience.
So it all started the night before. Me and my street brother Aaron were "spanging" (spare changing) on Washington St. by a snowboarding shop where we normally spanged for beer. Across the street, there were a group of kids, I'd say close to 15 of them, all around our age. It was a slow night as they were pretty much sucking up all of the money. They were playing guitar and singing and laughing.
Eventually, we gave up and went over there to greet them. They invited us to sit down and drink with them. We sat around and drank beer and laughed. Aaron left to go sleep and I stayed. I learned that they were what they called "train kids". They train hopped and traveled all around. They didn't go into specifics but they all had a hippie vibe and like they did psychs and partied a lot.
Eventually I left and went to go sleep with the street fam at our spot by the Parks and Rec center.
The next day, I was hungry as fuck. I had no more food stamps and it was early in the morning. I usually never ever spange in the morning because there's hardly anyone around but I was hungry enough that I went down to Washington and went to my spot alone to spange. There were far more people walking on the other side of the street where I had been last night so I moved my setup over there.
As I sat down waiting, I began to fidget with shit on the ground as I do. I suddenly notice various mini-piles of white and crystalline substances on the concrete. I dabble my finger in one and it leaves a powder residue. I suddenly become excited. I don't know what any of these are nor did I witness the kids doing any drugs the night before.
I peer at each pile looking for the most realistic looking one. I settled on one that was not a pile, but a few decent sized smudges of piles that once were. It was bright white and crystalline at the same time.
Now keep in mind, people walking by are watching me and I keep looking away and moving over as to not look sketchy and have the cops called on me.
When I felt I had looked sketchy enough I quickly got the most I could on my finger at once and sniffed as hard as I could. I quickly got on my bike and rode away thinking, "God, I'm such a fucking idiot fiend I look and feel stupid, why did I do that." As I shook my head I noticed a feeling. It was a sort of rising feeling in my chest as I rode my bike away towards my street family's spot. I began to think, "No way!! No way is this a psychedelic!" I began to see what I would call "visual snow". Sort of like the static you see on a TV when no channel is selected but rainbow and all around my field of vision. My chest feels very weird and floaty. My coordination began to decline and I begin to worry if I will make it back without hurting myself. I eventually do make it back and sit down quietly.
I suddenly begin to nod. Not completely involuntarily because I felt it coming so I accepted it and assisted it. A blissful physical euphoria washes over me. I perceive myself in a field under a tree. There is nothing in the distance except yellow field. A slight breeze can be perceived. I am surrounded by my friends in real life but in my head I am completely and totally alone. The world outside cannot be comprehended. It is silent and all I can perceive are my thoughts while lying under this tree.
It is absolutely the most beautiful solitude I have ever experienced. There is no self-consciousness. No anxiety. Just blissful lonesome. My body felt like a mixture of psilocybin and oxycodone. It did not feel like an opiate high but rather a dissociative/psych high with a lot of euphoria.
I can just remember feeling so okay with myself and analyzing thoughts peacefully. Just being content and alone.
I don't remember much else visually. The trip lasted a good 30 minutes with an afterglow lasting much of the rest of night. I told my friends what I experienced and they did not believe me. They laughed at me and said it was placebo or something. I told them I'd prove them wrong tomorrow.
I was silent and happy the rest of the night just observing my friends talk and shit.
I went back the next day and tried the other compounds I saw. They were large crystalline substances and I felt absolutely nothing from them. They didn't look anything like the one that made me have that high. The one I had tried was small, reflective like fishscale, and composed of tiny, TINY crystals that made it look like a powder. It was bright white and shiny. I tried to get more of it off the cement but could not get enough to feel anything at all.
This experience is actually one of the reasons I came home the month after and decided to change my life. This experience is one of the many, many, MANY crazy stories I have from being homeless in Venice Beach for months.
It made me feel okay with myself and I wanted to be alone forever like that.
I have debated with many people about what it could have been. People have said a small dose of DMT but DMT is not active nasally. 5-MEO was mentioned but I have not researched it enough to know. I thought it was maybe Ketamine or Deschloroketamine but the experiences I had with Ketamine prior were with much larger amounts of substance in my nose and nothing like the experience I had. I made this guess because it felt dissociative.
I think this experience is special because every time I try a new substance I do EXTENSIVE research on it for harm reduction purposes so therefore ruining the element of surprise and giving me a sense of expectation. Whereas this time I had no idea what to expect and had a wonderful experience.
I think I'm going to start sharing all the experiences with drugs I can remember because I quite enjoy writing about them and almost reliving them in my head. My memory is sort of fucked due to YEARS and YEARS of heavy marijuana use and 2 years of alcoholism but I will try my best.
Thank you all for reading and feel free to share comments.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_unknown
explevel_experienced
exptype_positive
roacode_nasal
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