soundsystem00
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 19, 2005
- Messages
- 14,841
Relationships have always been a challenge for me. I got my heart broke twice last year and once this year! All separate women! Jesus.
This is the most recent one, and the hardest in a long time : A homegirl from the LA music scene ( dnb ) that I have always had a crush on, and had talked to on fb for 8 years, broke up with her BF and flew down here to texas to spend a week with me. It was intense. Heavy petting, passionate sex, jam sessions, good food, ect. She spent $1000 bucks on me and by the time she left, we were telling each other we love each other and planning our apartment and wedding. She said she had a mess to clean up in LA and will be ready soon. Well she gets back there and immediately slams the breaks on me. It fucked me up, but she still decided to come again. This second time things were weird. She was more of a mess and there was a little bit of conflict between us. Then when she got home that time, she did a full turn around and quit even showing me affection whatsoever. She was going over to mens houses, drinking every night at bars, and just putting me on the back burner all around, claiming that she isnt ready for a relationship or even ready to be anywhere close to affections or attentive towards me. It fucked me up on a deep level. I thought she was the one. Truly. I still do. But I began getting more and more frustrated and began acting like a dick. Everytime she said she was giong to call and didnt, every time she blew me off, every time she ignored my affection, I became more of someone I wasnt.
Finally on july 3rd we got into an argument about her becoming more and more flaky. She said "Let me spell it out for you. You never have a chance with me."
Thats when I hung up the phone, blocked all of her contact, and went and got super fucked up. It was a relapse. I went unhinged.
Luckily I am okay, I am sober again and slowly recovering. I think about her a lot. The thoughts are becoming less painful and now it has morphed into a light depression. Light meaning there are good days, sometimes I dont even think about her. But things still remind me of her to the point where it is tiring.
Well, I think I am projecting that. I have literally been rejected 5 times in a row. The first was a girl that literally shut me down the next day that the first girl did. She said the exact same thing, that I never have a chance with her. That was quite upsetting too, because I liked her alot. Not the same level but enough for that to sting. Her reason was that she is crazy and does drugs and does not want to be a bad influence on me.
The next one was a girl who was way out of my league. I met her at an art event and I went up to her and told her she was the most beautiful girl in the club. We exchanged numbers, somehow. We chat here and there. Like, her sending me like 5 setences a day-chatting, nothing special. I decided to ask her out and lure her to the date by painting her a picture. It worked and we went out for a few drinks. I saw her at an event a few days later and she was with her homegirl and she said hi and that she will be right back. She never came back to hang out and that stung. Then a few days later she said she was moving to florida. Gone.
The next one was around the same time as the last, I met her at a music event. She pretty much threw herself at me. Danced on me all night and gave up her number easily. We text every night for about a week. Then she stops responding. I try a few times and about a week later she was like "sorry I have been busy, oh and I am dating someone" so i said okay and quit talking to her. Well about a week later she messages me on my social media and likes some of my pics and says "I am moving to your area in a month" I was like ok? That is weird, is it not?
at this point, I am crushed. Its been about three weeks and I have not really tried anymore. I am obviously just suppose to be single right now. Despite all this shit, I still have good days and try to stay positive. Here is something good that happened this week. Two prospects. I have tried not to even remotely show affection or interest because I am obviously on a losing streak.
1. A girl from my art scene that initiated contact by adding me to fb a few months ago. She sometimes likes my art but that is about all the contact. Well she comments on a painting saying that she wants to buy it. I was running a special that week where I was selling small paintings for 20 bucks. We arranged for her to come over and buy it. She came over and was dressed to a T. Short skirt, hair done, makeup, the whole 9. She blew me away. She gave me 30 bucks even though I only asked 20. She complimented my art and was genuinely kind and beautiful. I asked her to stay and hang out but she had somewhere else to be and was anxious to leave. I messaged her the next day asking her if she liked the painting and the response time was lightening fast and she said "of course, I love it." I have not made any more contact yet. I want yalls input on that.
2. A girl just got a job at the previous company I use to work for, where I was an artist. My art is everywhere at that office and I have a good rep. She added me and said that my work is amazing and that she wants to buy a painting. I looked at her pictures and she is a smoking hot redhead who just moved to my city from another state so that she could work here. She is really funny, really kind and genuine. Her response time is fast but she will suddenly disappear during convo and not respond for a day or two. Not unusual. Anyway I am meeting her friday to sell her a painting. Should I ask her out, or just keep it professoinal?
Okay guys, if you have made it this far, thank you so much for your time. I would love to hear some stuff on this! I have no posted in SLR in ages so I wanted to make my post a good one! Thanks.
Ps. I am an attractive 31 year old man. But my downfall is that I over analyze shit. And in the first girl's case, I was very clingy and super frustrated. But considering the circumstances and that she not only lived in LA, 1300 miles away, she also became super flaky, I feel like that was normal, now that I look back. So yeah I am working on that shit too.
This is the most recent one, and the hardest in a long time : A homegirl from the LA music scene ( dnb ) that I have always had a crush on, and had talked to on fb for 8 years, broke up with her BF and flew down here to texas to spend a week with me. It was intense. Heavy petting, passionate sex, jam sessions, good food, ect. She spent $1000 bucks on me and by the time she left, we were telling each other we love each other and planning our apartment and wedding. She said she had a mess to clean up in LA and will be ready soon. Well she gets back there and immediately slams the breaks on me. It fucked me up, but she still decided to come again. This second time things were weird. She was more of a mess and there was a little bit of conflict between us. Then when she got home that time, she did a full turn around and quit even showing me affection whatsoever. She was going over to mens houses, drinking every night at bars, and just putting me on the back burner all around, claiming that she isnt ready for a relationship or even ready to be anywhere close to affections or attentive towards me. It fucked me up on a deep level. I thought she was the one. Truly. I still do. But I began getting more and more frustrated and began acting like a dick. Everytime she said she was giong to call and didnt, every time she blew me off, every time she ignored my affection, I became more of someone I wasnt.
Finally on july 3rd we got into an argument about her becoming more and more flaky. She said "Let me spell it out for you. You never have a chance with me."
Thats when I hung up the phone, blocked all of her contact, and went and got super fucked up. It was a relapse. I went unhinged.
Luckily I am okay, I am sober again and slowly recovering. I think about her a lot. The thoughts are becoming less painful and now it has morphed into a light depression. Light meaning there are good days, sometimes I dont even think about her. But things still remind me of her to the point where it is tiring.
Well, I think I am projecting that. I have literally been rejected 5 times in a row. The first was a girl that literally shut me down the next day that the first girl did. She said the exact same thing, that I never have a chance with her. That was quite upsetting too, because I liked her alot. Not the same level but enough for that to sting. Her reason was that she is crazy and does drugs and does not want to be a bad influence on me.
The next one was a girl who was way out of my league. I met her at an art event and I went up to her and told her she was the most beautiful girl in the club. We exchanged numbers, somehow. We chat here and there. Like, her sending me like 5 setences a day-chatting, nothing special. I decided to ask her out and lure her to the date by painting her a picture. It worked and we went out for a few drinks. I saw her at an event a few days later and she was with her homegirl and she said hi and that she will be right back. She never came back to hang out and that stung. Then a few days later she said she was moving to florida. Gone.
The next one was around the same time as the last, I met her at a music event. She pretty much threw herself at me. Danced on me all night and gave up her number easily. We text every night for about a week. Then she stops responding. I try a few times and about a week later she was like "sorry I have been busy, oh and I am dating someone" so i said okay and quit talking to her. Well about a week later she messages me on my social media and likes some of my pics and says "I am moving to your area in a month" I was like ok? That is weird, is it not?
at this point, I am crushed. Its been about three weeks and I have not really tried anymore. I am obviously just suppose to be single right now. Despite all this shit, I still have good days and try to stay positive. Here is something good that happened this week. Two prospects. I have tried not to even remotely show affection or interest because I am obviously on a losing streak.
1. A girl from my art scene that initiated contact by adding me to fb a few months ago. She sometimes likes my art but that is about all the contact. Well she comments on a painting saying that she wants to buy it. I was running a special that week where I was selling small paintings for 20 bucks. We arranged for her to come over and buy it. She came over and was dressed to a T. Short skirt, hair done, makeup, the whole 9. She blew me away. She gave me 30 bucks even though I only asked 20. She complimented my art and was genuinely kind and beautiful. I asked her to stay and hang out but she had somewhere else to be and was anxious to leave. I messaged her the next day asking her if she liked the painting and the response time was lightening fast and she said "of course, I love it." I have not made any more contact yet. I want yalls input on that.
2. A girl just got a job at the previous company I use to work for, where I was an artist. My art is everywhere at that office and I have a good rep. She added me and said that my work is amazing and that she wants to buy a painting. I looked at her pictures and she is a smoking hot redhead who just moved to my city from another state so that she could work here. She is really funny, really kind and genuine. Her response time is fast but she will suddenly disappear during convo and not respond for a day or two. Not unusual. Anyway I am meeting her friday to sell her a painting. Should I ask her out, or just keep it professoinal?
Okay guys, if you have made it this far, thank you so much for your time. I would love to hear some stuff on this! I have no posted in SLR in ages so I wanted to make my post a good one! Thanks.
Ps. I am an attractive 31 year old man. But my downfall is that I over analyze shit. And in the first girl's case, I was very clingy and super frustrated. But considering the circumstances and that she not only lived in LA, 1300 miles away, she also became super flaky, I feel like that was normal, now that I look back. So yeah I am working on that shit too.
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