Healing_Sensai
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Aug 10, 2018
- Messages
- 15
Hey guys. So I'm new to Bluelight and I joined for two reasons. The first is because I've been obsessing about Psychedelics (thinking about them every single day and talking about them to people who've never even done them) and I'm looking for advice on moving my thought patterns away from this way of thinking. The second reason was to finally post trip reports on my most memorable tripping experiences (Since I've never done that before.) and get some feedback from others, as well as perhaps some advice on integrating parts of these trips that I've never fully integrated into my life.
I'm going to give a summary of my tripping experience, talk about whether or not I've had difficult or bad trips, my stance on Psychonautic Elitism (The belief that people who have tripped are somehow above those who haven't.), then I'll leave a tiny disclaimer talking about some of the feedback I might like regarding this trip report, and then onto the trip report of my first trip ever, which I experienced back in 2009!
Just a Summary of My Tripping Experience: I'm a 29 year old male who's been tripping since I was 19 (I think). My first trip was in 2009 and since then I've had roughly 10-15 Psychedelic Experiences, 3-4 of which resulted in Ego Death (I say 3-4 because my DMT breakthrough felt vastly different then Ego Death on Shrooms and DXM). I've taken high doses of Psilocybin twice, with the second experience proving to be a difficult and even borderline bad trip during the first half hour of the experience. In fact that experience was so powerful that I vowed never to trip off shrooms ever again. For roughly two years after the second powerful shroom trip, even incredibly low doses of LSD that produced nothing more than tracers would give me anxiety.
I finally overcame this anxiety after taking 25i-NBOME about 3 times (Once with MDMA, which I dubbed Crayola Flipping), resulting in me trying a full tab of LSD and having a really good time, as the experience felt lighter and much more controllable than shrooms. Somewhere around 2011-2013, I tried DXM once and wound up on the fourth plateau, resulting in me seeing three Angels which materialized before me in complete and utter darkness (They glowed in the dark lol). They told me that the secret to life is to live through love and to love myself, and then they disappeared. Between this time and 2016, I took only LSD (Unless I'm forgetting something) and took it about 5 times. In 2016, I also smoked DMT for the first time and had a breakthrough experience and actually remember most of it, although that's a story for another time. My final trip to date was when I took a hit of LSD and smoked DMT during the peak.
So that's my history. Out of all of those experiences, only one of the trips resulted in what I'd call a difficult trip due to it's sheer intensity (3.5 grams felt like what I'd imagine 9-10 grams to feel like), and of course the first half hour of that trip was experienced alone without a sitter and so I almost collapsed into a state of anxiety so I was on the edge of a bad trip.
Other than that one trip, pretty much all of my trips have been good and, at the very least, tolerable, despite having experiences such as having drunk friends tell me my ideas while tripping were "Fucking stupid." to which I told them it wasn't cool to say that while I was tripping and held my shit together.
Anyway, I shouldn't be boasting. I don't really believe in status differences between those who have tripped and those who haven't. I believe that everybody in this world serves a purpose, the trippers being creators and innovators and moving our world forward, while the non-trippers are good at preserving what's already been built.
Now then, with all that out of the way, let me describe to you in detail my very first ever tripping experience!!! Please provide feedback on anything you may have noticed in the report or ideas of things that may need to be integrated, or better yet, I can provide a list of things from the report that I feel I haven't integrated. Please, though, keep it civil amongst each other.
So, here goes.
This happened towards the beginning of 2009, probably in February. A friend of mine who I'll call 'X' had been living with another friend of mine, a guy I had met not too long ago through 'X', who I'll just refer to as 'Y'. So anyway, X and Y had been devoting a large amount of time to growing some hydroponic weed plants (Northern Lights). Considering that this was before medical marijuana became a thing and most weed that we could buy was mids, this had all the people who knew about it excited. However, my friend X wasn't just growing the weed plants. Hidden in a small droor, or something like that, he was cultivating magic mushrooms, which I showed a particular interest in.
I was 19 (I think) at the time, and at this point the only substances I had used were alcohol, weed, and coke once (which I had done on sheer impulse a few months before that - Devil's Night 2008 to be precise).
I had done some research on magic mushrooms, along with talk with X about them. He told me that I could try them free of charge if any of them survived the cultivation process. I remember imagining what the magic mushroom experience was like, and imagined myself sitting on an 'Alice in Wonderland' style throne while telling some flying green frogs with multi-colored spots what to do, and the room looked like a castle.
So obviously, I was still pretty naive as to the nature of Psychedelics and the effects they procured.
However, the day finally came when X called me and told me one of his jars of shrooms had survived and was ready. I was giddy with excitement. Luckily for me, I remember feeling pretty optimistic and excited to try them at the time, putting my set in the right place, and I'd be doing it in Y's basement!! The reason this is so awesome is because Y and his girlfriend had tripped down their together a while before that, and they had painted all over the walls and decorated everything, giving me the perfect setting for a mushroom trip.
Oddly enough, the day I would trip was the day that X's and Y's Northern Lights were ready, and they told me they'd be selling them (not gonna mention quantity or price, but it was a good deal) while I was tripping. I didn't mind, and so I drove over to Ys house. I asked X if it was possible for me to have a bad trip, and I specifically remember him saying "Nah. Not unless you think there's a spirit after you or something." Idk why but even 10 years later I still remember him telling me that and it still makes me laugh.
He poured the mushrooms on the table and told me to eat them all. I asked him how much there was, and he told me an eighth. And so, I ate them, and I remember thinking that they tasted like absolute shit. Eventually, though, I managed to swallow the last lonely little mushroom just waiting to show me things I wouldn't have ever been able to fathom prior to what happened a little later that day..
So I don't remember who, but either X or Y suggested that we walk to the gas station, which was about a mile away, and get some trip snacks. I agreed, as I was feeling very adventurous, and being new to Psychedelics didn't feel like I had to brace for anything, and therefore felt no tension or worry about the upcoming trip.
I remember it being sunny out that day. It was pretty cold, too. I think we were all wearing jackets. We might've been wearing coats, but I think we were wearing jackets. We made it to the gas station and I still felt no different then before.
We got some Mountain Dew and some other munchies and proceeded to head back to Y's house. I wasn't really keeping track of the time when walking to and back from the gas station, but based on the time shrooms usually take to reach their onset, I'd say that we were gone for around 30 minutes, maybe 40 minutes tops.
We arrived back at Y's house, and I still remember not feeling all too different. I wasn't seeing any visuals, and nothing was happening. When we got settled in and were all sitting on the couches in Y's basement, I asked them "Is it supposed to take this long?" One of them pulled out a bowl and said something along the lines of "Here, smoke some weed it'll make the trip better." And I responded by saying something like "Really?" I think X then said something like "Yeah man it kind of kicks it up a notch."
A few minutes later I noticed the wall's surface have a liquid polish look to it. And then it happened. I saw my first hallucination ever! A piece of the wall slowly detached from its original spot on the wall and moved to another part of the wall. And then another piece of the wall did the some thing. I don't remember the order of how things transpired until I had my first psychotic like laugh while looking at my friend Y, but basically, the walls started breathing lightly, it looked at though the walls were starting to melt, and the tiles on the floor were slowly moving, like a river!
Then I got to the point I just mentioned. I looked over at my friends. They were setting up what looked like a freaking lemonade stand in the middle of the basement, where they were gonna get rid of their freshly harvested plant matter.
I remember just staring at my friend Y, and eventually he noticed and looked over and me and a big smile came up over his face. I'm pretty sure he was looking at what must have been my enormous saucer-like pupils. And then, as if out of nowhere, I let out what sounded to me like an incredibly loud, incredibly hard laugh, and my friend started laughing his ass off.
This is the point where things started picking up, but this trip was very gentle with me for whatever reason, and I climbed to the plateau so slowly and gradually that I didn't notice. Time had become meaningless as I was still climbing to the peak. I remember walking around a bit and almost as if out of nowhere, my legs felt like the gravity had been turned up on them 1x Earth Gravity to 50x Shroom Gravity. I struggled to walk over to the couch, and there were so many sensations popping up throughout my body that I couldn't even keep up with them. It all felt so strange, but somehow, it felt right.
While I was laying on the couch, all my limbs, particularly my arms, felt like they were twisting up, almost like I was now a pretzel and I had to be folded. The best way I can described the distorted feeling within my body and all of my limbs is by comparing it to The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, in the Forest Temple. You know those two rooms, with the eye panel in front of each room that you can shoot with the arrow to make the room either straight or crooked. And when you go through them for the first time, the first room's crooked and the second one's straight.
Well, before the shrooms influence twisted my body up my body felt like the straight room, and after the shrooms made all of my limbs feel super twisted up, my body felt like the crooked room. That's the best way I can explain it.
So, anyway, my mind began to feel foggy. Things started to get confusing, like real confusing, to the point where I didn't even recognize that things were happening around me, that there was a world with things going on in the same basement that housed the couch that I was laying down on. I think the entities came around this point. I remember the first thing they did was talk to me telepathically and told me that they loved me, and somehow it felt like they had the ability to transmit this love directly into my body, mind, heart, and soul. The love enveloped me, and I felt safer and more secure than I had since I was a young child.
I'll never forget that feeling. It's the purest form of love that I believe one can feel while alive on this planet. I remember talking to them for a little bit, and I remember having had an issue that I was dealing with for a while before that day, in which I felt incredibly guilty over something that I did which I thought made me a really bad person.
I told the entities, who were speaking in telepathic whispers and speaking a language that wasn't English but I could still understand somehow, that I had done something horrible and that I felt like it made me a bad person. I don't think I said this out loud, and even if I did it would have probably sounded like a bunch of self-babbling nonsense to my friends. They spoke kindly to me, and suddenly began speaking in English. They said "It's ok." and I swear to God they must have transmitted the vibe behind saying that into my essence because I instantly felt better after they told me that.
I felt like I could finally move on from what I had perceived to be a major issue that I thought made me a bad person. And guess what, I never thought about it again after that!
I lifted my head up after that so that I could look around the room to see if there were anymore hallucinations appearing around the room, and I was probably amazed, but I think I was more enamored by the sheer beauty of what I saw. Everything was alive! The walls were breathing heavily, everything was moving around, and I would use the word rapidly to describe it but a future mushroom trip would give the word rapidly a whole new meaning in terms of just how rapidly something could fly across the room.
Out of nowhere, life developed it's own musical theme, which sounded like a cross between the Temple of Time from Zelda: Ocarina of Time and some sort of Hallmark Card Jingle. It sounded incredibly shamanic and I don't how I felt about it then but now I feel like it was put there just for me. Whether it was a plant spirit singing to me or the planet talking to me, I've never found out what it means. (If you know the symbolic meaning of this ancient music please tell me in a response thanks!)
Nonetheless, everything was moving and it all felt like it was moving relatively fast. The thing that caught my eye above everything else was this half-invisible blanket-like sheet that was spread across the air and was billowing up and down, similar to how a blanket moves when you shake it to air it out. The view was absolutely astounding! I had never seen anything so incredible! I was focused on this for a while, though I couldn't tell you how long seeing that I couldn't even recognize time as a property that existed within our universe. I couldn't tell if things felt faster or slower.
Above all, I wasn't just in the moment, I was the freakin moment!
It should be noted that sometime around this time of my trip people were coming through like crazy to get some 'lemonade', which is absolutely ridiculous to me now (I mean why wouldn't it be ridiculous to have your two friends running a lemonade marijuana stand while you were peaking on your first Ego Death journey while experiencing the singularity for the first time and literately merging with everything in existence?) but I digress. None of them really bothered to talk to me, which I was happy about, although one of them did say "Hey man. You tripping on shrooms?" I remember feeling like a shy and confused toddler that didn't know what to say or do so I mustered up some blabbered words out of my mouth which made no sense. Thankfully he just laughed and went on his merry way.
This didn't bother me all that much but, looking back on it, I could see why people who are uneducated about Psychedelics wind up freaking out at overly-crowded, loud parties after accidentally ingesting too much LSD in an attempt to either look cool or with the belief that it'll either get them high or help them unwind. It makes me wish that more people had access to real education about the 'dos' and 'don'ts' of Psychedelic use (I know this doesn't relate to the trip I'm just reflecting on it based on how I reacted to talking to one person I didn't know who more than likely understood what I was going through).
After everyone had come and gone for their 'Lights of the North', I remember this eyeball that someone had painted onto the wall catching my full attention. It had an outline around it that made it look like a one-eyed master shake from the show Aqua Teen Hunger Force, although it was incredibly feminine in nature. The entire time I was hearing things whisper, almost as if they were hiding inside the walls. This one-eyed milkshake, as I'd come to nickname it after the trip, was the first entity that I could physically see. Yup, just a 2D eyeball that kind of resembled a milkshake, talking to me for what seemed to be hours. It was, to say the least, one of the most bizarre situations that I've ever been in in my entire life.
Now, I may have mentioned this already, and I'll double-check later just to verify and fix it if it's already there, but it should be noted that after I had looked up at the room and noticed the storm of hallucinations reality felt a whole lot different. Rather than feeling like I was an independant being separate from everything, I felt like I was one with everything around me. It was as though every floorboard, every different color of paint, both of my friends,and every single object in the room were all connected. This sense of oneness is what I now call 'Singularity Consciousness' as opposed to the 'Duality Consciousness' of standard reality.
So anyway, I continued talking with the One-Eyed Milkshake for god knows how long. It's been so long so I can't be sure but I think it told me to do something with my life and this next part is just a guess but it might've even told me some secrets about the universe.
Eventually the One-Eyed Milkshake lost my attention and I lay my head down and turned it to the left, looking over at a blanket that had been hung up to cover my friend X's room. It had two horses on it. What happened next was probably one of the coolest things I had witnessed throughout the trip. The horses appeared to be galloping. Their hooves would instantly move up and then instantly move down in a rapidly repeating motion resembling one of those holographic cards that you move on an angle in order to get the image to move too.
I think at this point I was just beginning to come down. Unfortunately, my friend Y's sister was a spoiled brat (and probably still is TBH) and I heard her enter the house upstairs, and before saying anything to anybody up there, she instead started to scream about something. I remember it being unpleasant to listen to and even feeling a bit tense as she did it but luckily it didn't last long and instead of going on and on she actually shut up.
After that incident there were no more odd or negative disruptions to the trip. I remember finally being able to walk again, but not to my full potential. The best way I could describe it is by calling it a half-sober walk.
I shuffled across the basement floor. The tiles were oozing forward like a lazy river, and I was in aw of just how beautiful everything could be. I was started to regain a sense of who I was again. I was this 19 year old guy who had just had this incredible experience. The two people in the basement were my friends who had looked after me, their mere presence creating a sense of security throughout the trip.
Now, I was extremely fortunate to have trip sitters with me here, and I really do believe that having a reliable trip sitter is an important factor in ensuring that you don't do something hazardous, the only exception being that you have A LOT of experience (100+ trip experience) and know the territory well. After some time had passed, the mere fact that I could walk again and recognized concepts like time and my identity made me believe that I was sober again and that I could probably drive home.
I asked them if I was ready to drive and they told me "No" and to "Wait another hour or two." This is why, IMO, first-time trippers should always have a reliable, seasoned trip sitter with them (If not to help them out of a bad trip then to simply ensure that they don't do something hazardous).
After what was probably 30 more minutes of me walking around the basement in pure amazement talking myself and saying things like "Oh my fucking God. That was fucking crazy. What the fuck?" and the like we went up to the garage to have a cigarette.
When we were in the garage and our cigarettes were lit I didn't even bother asking them about their lemonade stand and if they managed to 'Bid all the bags to stand, Light of the North!' All I cared about was the fact that all I could feel was the purest form of joy and love that I've ever remembered feeling over the course of my whole life, and that it had enveloped every fiber of my being.
I was probably lightly hallucinating by this point but the trip was basically over. I told X and Y that "I just want to love, guys. I just want to love everything. Everything is love." They then started talking about their plants and how they managed to sell everything. Since I was still in this state of unconditional love and was still a good night's sleep away from being back to full mental capacity, for some reason I remember trying to joke around and saying they were like criminals, which they didn't like at all. X looked at me very seriously and he was like "Dude, we're not criminals. We supply a common need to the people who seek it." or something like that.
I stayed for about 10 more minutes and once again asked if I'd be ok to drive home. They said that I should be fine by this point and I said bye to them and thanked them for everything and drove home. I don't know if it was irresponsible to drive home like that and, looking back on it, would probably stay the night if I were to trip in the future. However, I specifically remember the drive home down to the weather (It was now cloudy as opposed to sunny like it had been when we walked to the gas station). At most I saw a few very minor movements out of objects but nothing even close to significant enough to impair my vision to the point were my view of the road would have been obscured.
I arrived home sometime before the sunset and my Mom was near the stairs that I had to walk up to in order to get to my room. I looked at her and said "Hi Mom." and I swear to God it must have been obvious because she gave me the weirdest look and said something like "Um...Hi?"
I didn't stay awake for too long after I went into my room. I fell asleep pretty early that night and remember having an absolutely fantastic night's sleep. When I woke up reality was back to normal and I no longer felt the massive flood of unconditional love coursing through my veins.
---That's technically the end of my trip report but below I'm going to quickly sum up the changes that I noticed in my personality and mental health as a result of the trip.
There are some notable changes in my personality and mental health that I noted for at least 3-6 months after the trip which I'll include down below:
- I had absolutely no depression at all. It was completely gone. (Suffered from depression before the trip)
- I experienced absolutely no irrational feelings of fear involving trivial things that a lot people would normally overthink. (Often overthought things and overreacted to the simplest things before the trip)
- I experienced no feelings of anxiety and actually felt so good that it was almost as if a huge weight had been lifted off of my chest. (Didn't experience much anxiety before the trip except for in unfamiliar social situations and at work)
- Felt like I had a much more positive outlook on life. Everything, especially things like trees, looked so much more beautiful. (Before the trip I barely noticed the beauty in simple things)
The trip level, if you consider such things relevant, was an average 4 IMO. I know that not everybody subscribes to the idea of trips being categorized like this.
So there you have it. I'm pretty sure that I managed to integrate most of this trip into my life, which caused a change for the better in almost every facet of my life, but if you notice any lessons present in this trip that can be integrated into my life and have any advice as to how to go about that, then please let me know. Thanks! Also, if you've had any good trips / difficult trips / bad trips and this somehow reminds you of them feel free to talk about it. Other than that, say whatever comes to mind! Just one thing though please keep things civil between each other thanks!
I'll be writing a trip report for my second trip report sometime in the near future. My second trip was a shroom trip that started off as difficult and bordered on the edge of being a bad trip but was flipped on its head and became a good trip that was so powerful that I would also consider it difficult.
One more thing I've kind of been obsessing about Psychedelics lately and I'm afraid I'm gonna start being known as the 'Psychedelic Guy' if you've ever had this problem and managed to overcome or have advice I would appreciate it. Ok thanks!
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_mushrooms
substancecode_tryptamines
explevel_firsttime
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
exptype_spiritual
exptype_lifechanging
roacode_oral
I'm going to give a summary of my tripping experience, talk about whether or not I've had difficult or bad trips, my stance on Psychonautic Elitism (The belief that people who have tripped are somehow above those who haven't.), then I'll leave a tiny disclaimer talking about some of the feedback I might like regarding this trip report, and then onto the trip report of my first trip ever, which I experienced back in 2009!
Just a Summary of My Tripping Experience: I'm a 29 year old male who's been tripping since I was 19 (I think). My first trip was in 2009 and since then I've had roughly 10-15 Psychedelic Experiences, 3-4 of which resulted in Ego Death (I say 3-4 because my DMT breakthrough felt vastly different then Ego Death on Shrooms and DXM). I've taken high doses of Psilocybin twice, with the second experience proving to be a difficult and even borderline bad trip during the first half hour of the experience. In fact that experience was so powerful that I vowed never to trip off shrooms ever again. For roughly two years after the second powerful shroom trip, even incredibly low doses of LSD that produced nothing more than tracers would give me anxiety.
I finally overcame this anxiety after taking 25i-NBOME about 3 times (Once with MDMA, which I dubbed Crayola Flipping), resulting in me trying a full tab of LSD and having a really good time, as the experience felt lighter and much more controllable than shrooms. Somewhere around 2011-2013, I tried DXM once and wound up on the fourth plateau, resulting in me seeing three Angels which materialized before me in complete and utter darkness (They glowed in the dark lol). They told me that the secret to life is to live through love and to love myself, and then they disappeared. Between this time and 2016, I took only LSD (Unless I'm forgetting something) and took it about 5 times. In 2016, I also smoked DMT for the first time and had a breakthrough experience and actually remember most of it, although that's a story for another time. My final trip to date was when I took a hit of LSD and smoked DMT during the peak.
So that's my history. Out of all of those experiences, only one of the trips resulted in what I'd call a difficult trip due to it's sheer intensity (3.5 grams felt like what I'd imagine 9-10 grams to feel like), and of course the first half hour of that trip was experienced alone without a sitter and so I almost collapsed into a state of anxiety so I was on the edge of a bad trip.
Other than that one trip, pretty much all of my trips have been good and, at the very least, tolerable, despite having experiences such as having drunk friends tell me my ideas while tripping were "Fucking stupid." to which I told them it wasn't cool to say that while I was tripping and held my shit together.
Anyway, I shouldn't be boasting. I don't really believe in status differences between those who have tripped and those who haven't. I believe that everybody in this world serves a purpose, the trippers being creators and innovators and moving our world forward, while the non-trippers are good at preserving what's already been built.
Now then, with all that out of the way, let me describe to you in detail my very first ever tripping experience!!! Please provide feedback on anything you may have noticed in the report or ideas of things that may need to be integrated, or better yet, I can provide a list of things from the report that I feel I haven't integrated. Please, though, keep it civil amongst each other.
So, here goes.
This happened towards the beginning of 2009, probably in February. A friend of mine who I'll call 'X' had been living with another friend of mine, a guy I had met not too long ago through 'X', who I'll just refer to as 'Y'. So anyway, X and Y had been devoting a large amount of time to growing some hydroponic weed plants (Northern Lights). Considering that this was before medical marijuana became a thing and most weed that we could buy was mids, this had all the people who knew about it excited. However, my friend X wasn't just growing the weed plants. Hidden in a small droor, or something like that, he was cultivating magic mushrooms, which I showed a particular interest in.
I was 19 (I think) at the time, and at this point the only substances I had used were alcohol, weed, and coke once (which I had done on sheer impulse a few months before that - Devil's Night 2008 to be precise).
I had done some research on magic mushrooms, along with talk with X about them. He told me that I could try them free of charge if any of them survived the cultivation process. I remember imagining what the magic mushroom experience was like, and imagined myself sitting on an 'Alice in Wonderland' style throne while telling some flying green frogs with multi-colored spots what to do, and the room looked like a castle.
So obviously, I was still pretty naive as to the nature of Psychedelics and the effects they procured.
However, the day finally came when X called me and told me one of his jars of shrooms had survived and was ready. I was giddy with excitement. Luckily for me, I remember feeling pretty optimistic and excited to try them at the time, putting my set in the right place, and I'd be doing it in Y's basement!! The reason this is so awesome is because Y and his girlfriend had tripped down their together a while before that, and they had painted all over the walls and decorated everything, giving me the perfect setting for a mushroom trip.
Oddly enough, the day I would trip was the day that X's and Y's Northern Lights were ready, and they told me they'd be selling them (not gonna mention quantity or price, but it was a good deal) while I was tripping. I didn't mind, and so I drove over to Ys house. I asked X if it was possible for me to have a bad trip, and I specifically remember him saying "Nah. Not unless you think there's a spirit after you or something." Idk why but even 10 years later I still remember him telling me that and it still makes me laugh.
He poured the mushrooms on the table and told me to eat them all. I asked him how much there was, and he told me an eighth. And so, I ate them, and I remember thinking that they tasted like absolute shit. Eventually, though, I managed to swallow the last lonely little mushroom just waiting to show me things I wouldn't have ever been able to fathom prior to what happened a little later that day..
So I don't remember who, but either X or Y suggested that we walk to the gas station, which was about a mile away, and get some trip snacks. I agreed, as I was feeling very adventurous, and being new to Psychedelics didn't feel like I had to brace for anything, and therefore felt no tension or worry about the upcoming trip.
I remember it being sunny out that day. It was pretty cold, too. I think we were all wearing jackets. We might've been wearing coats, but I think we were wearing jackets. We made it to the gas station and I still felt no different then before.
We got some Mountain Dew and some other munchies and proceeded to head back to Y's house. I wasn't really keeping track of the time when walking to and back from the gas station, but based on the time shrooms usually take to reach their onset, I'd say that we were gone for around 30 minutes, maybe 40 minutes tops.
We arrived back at Y's house, and I still remember not feeling all too different. I wasn't seeing any visuals, and nothing was happening. When we got settled in and were all sitting on the couches in Y's basement, I asked them "Is it supposed to take this long?" One of them pulled out a bowl and said something along the lines of "Here, smoke some weed it'll make the trip better." And I responded by saying something like "Really?" I think X then said something like "Yeah man it kind of kicks it up a notch."
A few minutes later I noticed the wall's surface have a liquid polish look to it. And then it happened. I saw my first hallucination ever! A piece of the wall slowly detached from its original spot on the wall and moved to another part of the wall. And then another piece of the wall did the some thing. I don't remember the order of how things transpired until I had my first psychotic like laugh while looking at my friend Y, but basically, the walls started breathing lightly, it looked at though the walls were starting to melt, and the tiles on the floor were slowly moving, like a river!
Then I got to the point I just mentioned. I looked over at my friends. They were setting up what looked like a freaking lemonade stand in the middle of the basement, where they were gonna get rid of their freshly harvested plant matter.
I remember just staring at my friend Y, and eventually he noticed and looked over and me and a big smile came up over his face. I'm pretty sure he was looking at what must have been my enormous saucer-like pupils. And then, as if out of nowhere, I let out what sounded to me like an incredibly loud, incredibly hard laugh, and my friend started laughing his ass off.
This is the point where things started picking up, but this trip was very gentle with me for whatever reason, and I climbed to the plateau so slowly and gradually that I didn't notice. Time had become meaningless as I was still climbing to the peak. I remember walking around a bit and almost as if out of nowhere, my legs felt like the gravity had been turned up on them 1x Earth Gravity to 50x Shroom Gravity. I struggled to walk over to the couch, and there were so many sensations popping up throughout my body that I couldn't even keep up with them. It all felt so strange, but somehow, it felt right.
While I was laying on the couch, all my limbs, particularly my arms, felt like they were twisting up, almost like I was now a pretzel and I had to be folded. The best way I can described the distorted feeling within my body and all of my limbs is by comparing it to The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, in the Forest Temple. You know those two rooms, with the eye panel in front of each room that you can shoot with the arrow to make the room either straight or crooked. And when you go through them for the first time, the first room's crooked and the second one's straight.
Well, before the shrooms influence twisted my body up my body felt like the straight room, and after the shrooms made all of my limbs feel super twisted up, my body felt like the crooked room. That's the best way I can explain it.
So, anyway, my mind began to feel foggy. Things started to get confusing, like real confusing, to the point where I didn't even recognize that things were happening around me, that there was a world with things going on in the same basement that housed the couch that I was laying down on. I think the entities came around this point. I remember the first thing they did was talk to me telepathically and told me that they loved me, and somehow it felt like they had the ability to transmit this love directly into my body, mind, heart, and soul. The love enveloped me, and I felt safer and more secure than I had since I was a young child.
I'll never forget that feeling. It's the purest form of love that I believe one can feel while alive on this planet. I remember talking to them for a little bit, and I remember having had an issue that I was dealing with for a while before that day, in which I felt incredibly guilty over something that I did which I thought made me a really bad person.
I told the entities, who were speaking in telepathic whispers and speaking a language that wasn't English but I could still understand somehow, that I had done something horrible and that I felt like it made me a bad person. I don't think I said this out loud, and even if I did it would have probably sounded like a bunch of self-babbling nonsense to my friends. They spoke kindly to me, and suddenly began speaking in English. They said "It's ok." and I swear to God they must have transmitted the vibe behind saying that into my essence because I instantly felt better after they told me that.
I felt like I could finally move on from what I had perceived to be a major issue that I thought made me a bad person. And guess what, I never thought about it again after that!
I lifted my head up after that so that I could look around the room to see if there were anymore hallucinations appearing around the room, and I was probably amazed, but I think I was more enamored by the sheer beauty of what I saw. Everything was alive! The walls were breathing heavily, everything was moving around, and I would use the word rapidly to describe it but a future mushroom trip would give the word rapidly a whole new meaning in terms of just how rapidly something could fly across the room.
Out of nowhere, life developed it's own musical theme, which sounded like a cross between the Temple of Time from Zelda: Ocarina of Time and some sort of Hallmark Card Jingle. It sounded incredibly shamanic and I don't how I felt about it then but now I feel like it was put there just for me. Whether it was a plant spirit singing to me or the planet talking to me, I've never found out what it means. (If you know the symbolic meaning of this ancient music please tell me in a response thanks!)
Nonetheless, everything was moving and it all felt like it was moving relatively fast. The thing that caught my eye above everything else was this half-invisible blanket-like sheet that was spread across the air and was billowing up and down, similar to how a blanket moves when you shake it to air it out. The view was absolutely astounding! I had never seen anything so incredible! I was focused on this for a while, though I couldn't tell you how long seeing that I couldn't even recognize time as a property that existed within our universe. I couldn't tell if things felt faster or slower.
Above all, I wasn't just in the moment, I was the freakin moment!
It should be noted that sometime around this time of my trip people were coming through like crazy to get some 'lemonade', which is absolutely ridiculous to me now (I mean why wouldn't it be ridiculous to have your two friends running a lemonade marijuana stand while you were peaking on your first Ego Death journey while experiencing the singularity for the first time and literately merging with everything in existence?) but I digress. None of them really bothered to talk to me, which I was happy about, although one of them did say "Hey man. You tripping on shrooms?" I remember feeling like a shy and confused toddler that didn't know what to say or do so I mustered up some blabbered words out of my mouth which made no sense. Thankfully he just laughed and went on his merry way.
This didn't bother me all that much but, looking back on it, I could see why people who are uneducated about Psychedelics wind up freaking out at overly-crowded, loud parties after accidentally ingesting too much LSD in an attempt to either look cool or with the belief that it'll either get them high or help them unwind. It makes me wish that more people had access to real education about the 'dos' and 'don'ts' of Psychedelic use (I know this doesn't relate to the trip I'm just reflecting on it based on how I reacted to talking to one person I didn't know who more than likely understood what I was going through).
After everyone had come and gone for their 'Lights of the North', I remember this eyeball that someone had painted onto the wall catching my full attention. It had an outline around it that made it look like a one-eyed master shake from the show Aqua Teen Hunger Force, although it was incredibly feminine in nature. The entire time I was hearing things whisper, almost as if they were hiding inside the walls. This one-eyed milkshake, as I'd come to nickname it after the trip, was the first entity that I could physically see. Yup, just a 2D eyeball that kind of resembled a milkshake, talking to me for what seemed to be hours. It was, to say the least, one of the most bizarre situations that I've ever been in in my entire life.
Now, I may have mentioned this already, and I'll double-check later just to verify and fix it if it's already there, but it should be noted that after I had looked up at the room and noticed the storm of hallucinations reality felt a whole lot different. Rather than feeling like I was an independant being separate from everything, I felt like I was one with everything around me. It was as though every floorboard, every different color of paint, both of my friends,and every single object in the room were all connected. This sense of oneness is what I now call 'Singularity Consciousness' as opposed to the 'Duality Consciousness' of standard reality.
So anyway, I continued talking with the One-Eyed Milkshake for god knows how long. It's been so long so I can't be sure but I think it told me to do something with my life and this next part is just a guess but it might've even told me some secrets about the universe.
Eventually the One-Eyed Milkshake lost my attention and I lay my head down and turned it to the left, looking over at a blanket that had been hung up to cover my friend X's room. It had two horses on it. What happened next was probably one of the coolest things I had witnessed throughout the trip. The horses appeared to be galloping. Their hooves would instantly move up and then instantly move down in a rapidly repeating motion resembling one of those holographic cards that you move on an angle in order to get the image to move too.
I think at this point I was just beginning to come down. Unfortunately, my friend Y's sister was a spoiled brat (and probably still is TBH) and I heard her enter the house upstairs, and before saying anything to anybody up there, she instead started to scream about something. I remember it being unpleasant to listen to and even feeling a bit tense as she did it but luckily it didn't last long and instead of going on and on she actually shut up.
After that incident there were no more odd or negative disruptions to the trip. I remember finally being able to walk again, but not to my full potential. The best way I could describe it is by calling it a half-sober walk.
I shuffled across the basement floor. The tiles were oozing forward like a lazy river, and I was in aw of just how beautiful everything could be. I was started to regain a sense of who I was again. I was this 19 year old guy who had just had this incredible experience. The two people in the basement were my friends who had looked after me, their mere presence creating a sense of security throughout the trip.
Now, I was extremely fortunate to have trip sitters with me here, and I really do believe that having a reliable trip sitter is an important factor in ensuring that you don't do something hazardous, the only exception being that you have A LOT of experience (100+ trip experience) and know the territory well. After some time had passed, the mere fact that I could walk again and recognized concepts like time and my identity made me believe that I was sober again and that I could probably drive home.
I asked them if I was ready to drive and they told me "No" and to "Wait another hour or two." This is why, IMO, first-time trippers should always have a reliable, seasoned trip sitter with them (If not to help them out of a bad trip then to simply ensure that they don't do something hazardous).
After what was probably 30 more minutes of me walking around the basement in pure amazement talking myself and saying things like "Oh my fucking God. That was fucking crazy. What the fuck?" and the like we went up to the garage to have a cigarette.
When we were in the garage and our cigarettes were lit I didn't even bother asking them about their lemonade stand and if they managed to 'Bid all the bags to stand, Light of the North!' All I cared about was the fact that all I could feel was the purest form of joy and love that I've ever remembered feeling over the course of my whole life, and that it had enveloped every fiber of my being.
I was probably lightly hallucinating by this point but the trip was basically over. I told X and Y that "I just want to love, guys. I just want to love everything. Everything is love." They then started talking about their plants and how they managed to sell everything. Since I was still in this state of unconditional love and was still a good night's sleep away from being back to full mental capacity, for some reason I remember trying to joke around and saying they were like criminals, which they didn't like at all. X looked at me very seriously and he was like "Dude, we're not criminals. We supply a common need to the people who seek it." or something like that.
I stayed for about 10 more minutes and once again asked if I'd be ok to drive home. They said that I should be fine by this point and I said bye to them and thanked them for everything and drove home. I don't know if it was irresponsible to drive home like that and, looking back on it, would probably stay the night if I were to trip in the future. However, I specifically remember the drive home down to the weather (It was now cloudy as opposed to sunny like it had been when we walked to the gas station). At most I saw a few very minor movements out of objects but nothing even close to significant enough to impair my vision to the point were my view of the road would have been obscured.
I arrived home sometime before the sunset and my Mom was near the stairs that I had to walk up to in order to get to my room. I looked at her and said "Hi Mom." and I swear to God it must have been obvious because she gave me the weirdest look and said something like "Um...Hi?"
I didn't stay awake for too long after I went into my room. I fell asleep pretty early that night and remember having an absolutely fantastic night's sleep. When I woke up reality was back to normal and I no longer felt the massive flood of unconditional love coursing through my veins.
---That's technically the end of my trip report but below I'm going to quickly sum up the changes that I noticed in my personality and mental health as a result of the trip.
There are some notable changes in my personality and mental health that I noted for at least 3-6 months after the trip which I'll include down below:
- I had absolutely no depression at all. It was completely gone. (Suffered from depression before the trip)
- I experienced absolutely no irrational feelings of fear involving trivial things that a lot people would normally overthink. (Often overthought things and overreacted to the simplest things before the trip)
- I experienced no feelings of anxiety and actually felt so good that it was almost as if a huge weight had been lifted off of my chest. (Didn't experience much anxiety before the trip except for in unfamiliar social situations and at work)
- Felt like I had a much more positive outlook on life. Everything, especially things like trees, looked so much more beautiful. (Before the trip I barely noticed the beauty in simple things)
The trip level, if you consider such things relevant, was an average 4 IMO. I know that not everybody subscribes to the idea of trips being categorized like this.
So there you have it. I'm pretty sure that I managed to integrate most of this trip into my life, which caused a change for the better in almost every facet of my life, but if you notice any lessons present in this trip that can be integrated into my life and have any advice as to how to go about that, then please let me know. Thanks! Also, if you've had any good trips / difficult trips / bad trips and this somehow reminds you of them feel free to talk about it. Other than that, say whatever comes to mind! Just one thing though please keep things civil between each other thanks!
I'll be writing a trip report for my second trip report sometime in the near future. My second trip was a shroom trip that started off as difficult and bordered on the edge of being a bad trip but was flipped on its head and became a good trip that was so powerful that I would also consider it difficult.
One more thing I've kind of been obsessing about Psychedelics lately and I'm afraid I'm gonna start being known as the 'Psychedelic Guy' if you've ever had this problem and managed to overcome or have advice I would appreciate it. Ok thanks!
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Thanks for sharing. By the way, I am a "psychedelic guy", people know I'm the one to ask about psychedelics because they interest me greatly and I am rather obsessed with learning about and experiencing them. I just embrace it, I don't put it out front (ie, I don't just start telling people about psychedelics when I meet them or introduce myself as a "psychedelic guy"), but if people ask, I am happy to talk about it, and I'm happy to be known as a guy to seek out. Nothing wrong with that.