1. I once threw my own shit at the police
2. I have an 'O' level (GCSE in the UK these days) in Russian
3. I fell 50 feet (15.24m) off a roof at a party & landed on my feet
I'm gonna guess #1 because, oh my god your poor mother.
My girlfriend cut 4 inches off my hair last year and it's still 18 inches long. If I buzzed it I could do what you said. But I wouldn't because I love my hair. You can't have it!