During my 1st acid trip, i had like, a premonition, its like, i'v seen everything that's happening to me now, but i saw it back in April, on my 1st trip. This, i can remember, it was vague then, like a really hazy dream, and its like i'm living through it all, and i remember it as it goes, like, i swear to god i'v seen this happen during my 1st trip, and its like, soon ill wake up from this, and ill be in my 1st trip, except, ill be in the bad part of it, where i thought i was getting arrested. I could see police, and police lights, and hear the sirens, and everything, it was so realistic, but i know it couldn't have been real, it was just a trip
So why does it feel like that's what happened?
All the events leading up to the bad trip seem to line up with the bad trip perfectly, like my friends dad, before the bad part started, he said stuff such as "Someone tipped them off" and "You guys are on heavy shit, you don't realize whats happening" as if cops were there, like, we were getting arrested, and its like, when he said this, i had ego... Something, not death as I still knew who i was, i couldn't quite remember where i was, what i was, where i came from, and started to lose who i was, but, i held, on, i fought so hard to hold on, i could feel myself letting go, but, then coming back, and as this happened, i was collapsing, i tried to shut down my body in a way so i could just experience it, but then i would stand up, then collapse, then stand up, then collapse, i was completely blinded by visuals, so i had no idea what was happening, i could only see black, and geometric colored shapes, then i saw the police and being arrested, like, I saw the lights, hears the sirens, saw the cops walk in, sorry i side tracked, but it feels like that's all this reality is, is my ego death, and soon, ill wake up from it, and be in the bad trip, as if that actually happened, but i know it couldn't have, but, why would my friends dad say stuff that would indicate the police being there? Why would he act so worried and nervous if police weren't there? Why would he say this to 3 tripping teenagers (17 at the time, 18 now)
(me being the only one who freaked out, as i have a fear of being arrested, fear of failure, fear of humiliation, i know all of this was brought out during the trip and thats what it was, as i, well, pissed myself in the bad trip, and was just, ya know, humiliated, but I couldn't let go)
In the course of 3 months, aside from my last acid trip that was on June 23rd, i tripped 2 other times and smoked weed regularly in large amounts, sometimes when i smoked i would get "flashbacks" like, images of the bad trip, i could remember a female officer talking to me, i could remember seeing myself being pulled from the RV i was tripping in and seeing my parents, standing there, looking at me with shame, sadness, and worst of all, like they had given up on me, or were just, resentful of me, now, while none of this happened, it still affected me.
Sorry if im rambling on like i usually do, i think im starting to make sense of it, but my ego, i guess, is just fighting so hard to stay, and i think that may be whats causing all these issues, but i dont want to risk taking psychedelics again, in fear of me not being able to handle it, or just, exasperating these issues
anyways...
Is horribly intense ass deja vu a normal symptom? I have it every day, and I can't stand it anymore, I can't even have one conversation without damn near remembering that exact thing happen before, it's like, as it happens, I remember everything people say, what I say, it's just, it's horrible, and that's the main thing I want to stop.
Just today, I was at a friend's place for the 1st time, and he had this like, metal fake camera decoration, and I can swear to God I've seen that situation before, like, the placement of the camera, the vase next to it, everything, I took a picture on my phone to remember it, and I know I've seen that exact fucking picture somewhere before it happened, what the fuck is this.
What supplements can I take for this, or what things can I do that will make that go away, I'm mainly worried about that, as it feeds the rest of my symptoms, kind of. I think it may be PTSD as I'm constantly reminded of the trip and still feel like I'm in it, sometimes I hear the sirens, I just, feel like, I'm living in a dream, and soon, I'll wake up in either, an asylum, in my 1st trip, or just wake up from going crazy in my house, I need help, has anyone else had police related trips, but no actual police, has anyone thought their bad trip was reality? I don't want to go crazy, I don't want to end up like one of those people who trip for the rest of their life, but, I'm worried that's already happening, and this is the trip, as I said earlier, I caught a glimpse of something during that 1st trip, like, idfk, I just want help
So why does it feel like that's what happened?
All the events leading up to the bad trip seem to line up with the bad trip perfectly, like my friends dad, before the bad part started, he said stuff such as "Someone tipped them off" and "You guys are on heavy shit, you don't realize whats happening" as if cops were there, like, we were getting arrested, and its like, when he said this, i had ego... Something, not death as I still knew who i was, i couldn't quite remember where i was, what i was, where i came from, and started to lose who i was, but, i held, on, i fought so hard to hold on, i could feel myself letting go, but, then coming back, and as this happened, i was collapsing, i tried to shut down my body in a way so i could just experience it, but then i would stand up, then collapse, then stand up, then collapse, i was completely blinded by visuals, so i had no idea what was happening, i could only see black, and geometric colored shapes, then i saw the police and being arrested, like, I saw the lights, hears the sirens, saw the cops walk in, sorry i side tracked, but it feels like that's all this reality is, is my ego death, and soon, ill wake up from it, and be in the bad trip, as if that actually happened, but i know it couldn't have, but, why would my friends dad say stuff that would indicate the police being there? Why would he act so worried and nervous if police weren't there? Why would he say this to 3 tripping teenagers (17 at the time, 18 now)
(me being the only one who freaked out, as i have a fear of being arrested, fear of failure, fear of humiliation, i know all of this was brought out during the trip and thats what it was, as i, well, pissed myself in the bad trip, and was just, ya know, humiliated, but I couldn't let go)
In the course of 3 months, aside from my last acid trip that was on June 23rd, i tripped 2 other times and smoked weed regularly in large amounts, sometimes when i smoked i would get "flashbacks" like, images of the bad trip, i could remember a female officer talking to me, i could remember seeing myself being pulled from the RV i was tripping in and seeing my parents, standing there, looking at me with shame, sadness, and worst of all, like they had given up on me, or were just, resentful of me, now, while none of this happened, it still affected me.
Sorry if im rambling on like i usually do, i think im starting to make sense of it, but my ego, i guess, is just fighting so hard to stay, and i think that may be whats causing all these issues, but i dont want to risk taking psychedelics again, in fear of me not being able to handle it, or just, exasperating these issues
anyways...
Is horribly intense ass deja vu a normal symptom? I have it every day, and I can't stand it anymore, I can't even have one conversation without damn near remembering that exact thing happen before, it's like, as it happens, I remember everything people say, what I say, it's just, it's horrible, and that's the main thing I want to stop.
Just today, I was at a friend's place for the 1st time, and he had this like, metal fake camera decoration, and I can swear to God I've seen that situation before, like, the placement of the camera, the vase next to it, everything, I took a picture on my phone to remember it, and I know I've seen that exact fucking picture somewhere before it happened, what the fuck is this.
What supplements can I take for this, or what things can I do that will make that go away, I'm mainly worried about that, as it feeds the rest of my symptoms, kind of. I think it may be PTSD as I'm constantly reminded of the trip and still feel like I'm in it, sometimes I hear the sirens, I just, feel like, I'm living in a dream, and soon, I'll wake up in either, an asylum, in my 1st trip, or just wake up from going crazy in my house, I need help, has anyone else had police related trips, but no actual police, has anyone thought their bad trip was reality? I don't want to go crazy, I don't want to end up like one of those people who trip for the rest of their life, but, I'm worried that's already happening, and this is the trip, as I said earlier, I caught a glimpse of something during that 1st trip, like, idfk, I just want help
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