I've mentioned this stuff somewhat in logs but I'm starting to realize that I'm essentially an alcoholic - once one, always one.
Every l time I get over some humps and think I'm in the clear I let my guard down some (because keeping it up is a job in and of itself) and then I blink and wonder how I end up in the same spot.
But how the hell do you guys that are married (or essentially married) do it? I've gotten to the point where I don't want to be out in public for prolonged periods or don't want to go certain places, the gym being extremely problematic, just because of the discontentment and social anxiety that being around good looking females causes. I've got a semi serious girlfriend at he moment although I've had more leeway than most because she is bisexual and I still can't keep my shit under control.
Legitimately making me wonder if I would ever in a million years be able to have a content marriage and I'm leaning towards no. If not though, then I'm left to even worse alternatives of a free-for-all which ends up being just as or more self destructive.
I took a break on counseling sessions due to my school schedule but need to get back. This sounds retarded in my own head even but starting to wonder if having a normal relationship/life is even possible for me.
Every l time I get over some humps and think I'm in the clear I let my guard down some (because keeping it up is a job in and of itself) and then I blink and wonder how I end up in the same spot.
But how the hell do you guys that are married (or essentially married) do it? I've gotten to the point where I don't want to be out in public for prolonged periods or don't want to go certain places, the gym being extremely problematic, just because of the discontentment and social anxiety that being around good looking females causes. I've got a semi serious girlfriend at he moment although I've had more leeway than most because she is bisexual and I still can't keep my shit under control.
Legitimately making me wonder if I would ever in a million years be able to have a content marriage and I'm leaning towards no. If not though, then I'm left to even worse alternatives of a free-for-all which ends up being just as or more self destructive.
I took a break on counseling sessions due to my school schedule but need to get back. This sounds retarded in my own head even but starting to wonder if having a normal relationship/life is even possible for me.