bennyZA
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2009
- Messages
- 1,495
Hey guys,
It's been literally years since I posted. For no obvious reason I decided I had to go to BL today to see what's changed. When I logged on I was amazed, I had so many PM's asking me if I was still alive, if I was okay, what happened to me etc. I was looking over old posts I made and I realized that I was in bad shape back then and I had resigned myself to a death from drugs at some point. My lifestyle and addiction was almost as bad as it gets. So what happened?
Well, I decided I literally had to stop doing what I was doing completely, so I asked myself, what is the complete opposite of my lifestyle. The first thought that popped up into my head was becoming a monk and I was like, nah... that's never gonna happen. But one thing lead to another and I decided to visit a Buddhist monastery. Even though I'm totally atheist and had a distaste for religion I decided to move in a for few weeks to see what happened. It was pretty cool, but I went back to my old life. Then someone convinced me to come back and stay longer, so I did. Next thing I know I started meditating hours a day. Then I started doing retreats and I learned about a form of meditation called Shamatha. It's unbelievable. You can enter what are called Jhana states, which are basically the most profound trance states you can get into. It takes a lot of self-control and discipline, but once you learn it, you can get complete control over the reward centers in your brain. Once I entered into my first Jhana state, I was like "WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME ABOUT THIS BEFORE I STARTED DOING DRUGS!" Next thing I know, I'm learning more and more forms of meditation and each one has its own unique feel.
To really get deep into this, I eventually did become a Buddhist monk in the Zen tradition. I moved to a monastery off-the-grid where I ended up staying for 3 years! I also started living my life for the benefit of others. I completely put myself in the hands of meditation and disregarded my well-being in order to help other people. My self-confidence and kindness to myself took off exponentially. From time to time I have a few drinks, and I need CBD cannabis to manage my chronic pain (from injuries sustained because of drug use), but besides that, my body wont even let me do drugs anymore. Even if I try to smoke a cigarette, my body will make me throw up!
So I say to all you people who need support, mindfulness is good, intense meditation with the spiritual aspect is better. It changed my life, and I think it can help anyone. It was my own closed mind that made me completely disregard spirituality as a way to deal with my addiction. I gave it a chance and I put all the energy I used to use to find drugs into meditation. I honestly can't believe how bad I was doing, because right now I think I might have one of the most wonderful lives in the world, I even have a beautiful wife now too!
So yea. Deep meditation states are more pleasurable than any drug, and the best way to really dive deep into meditation is to give spirituality a try with a totally open mind!
It's been literally years since I posted. For no obvious reason I decided I had to go to BL today to see what's changed. When I logged on I was amazed, I had so many PM's asking me if I was still alive, if I was okay, what happened to me etc. I was looking over old posts I made and I realized that I was in bad shape back then and I had resigned myself to a death from drugs at some point. My lifestyle and addiction was almost as bad as it gets. So what happened?
Well, I decided I literally had to stop doing what I was doing completely, so I asked myself, what is the complete opposite of my lifestyle. The first thought that popped up into my head was becoming a monk and I was like, nah... that's never gonna happen. But one thing lead to another and I decided to visit a Buddhist monastery. Even though I'm totally atheist and had a distaste for religion I decided to move in a for few weeks to see what happened. It was pretty cool, but I went back to my old life. Then someone convinced me to come back and stay longer, so I did. Next thing I know I started meditating hours a day. Then I started doing retreats and I learned about a form of meditation called Shamatha. It's unbelievable. You can enter what are called Jhana states, which are basically the most profound trance states you can get into. It takes a lot of self-control and discipline, but once you learn it, you can get complete control over the reward centers in your brain. Once I entered into my first Jhana state, I was like "WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME ABOUT THIS BEFORE I STARTED DOING DRUGS!" Next thing I know, I'm learning more and more forms of meditation and each one has its own unique feel.
To really get deep into this, I eventually did become a Buddhist monk in the Zen tradition. I moved to a monastery off-the-grid where I ended up staying for 3 years! I also started living my life for the benefit of others. I completely put myself in the hands of meditation and disregarded my well-being in order to help other people. My self-confidence and kindness to myself took off exponentially. From time to time I have a few drinks, and I need CBD cannabis to manage my chronic pain (from injuries sustained because of drug use), but besides that, my body wont even let me do drugs anymore. Even if I try to smoke a cigarette, my body will make me throw up!
So I say to all you people who need support, mindfulness is good, intense meditation with the spiritual aspect is better. It changed my life, and I think it can help anyone. It was my own closed mind that made me completely disregard spirituality as a way to deal with my addiction. I gave it a chance and I put all the energy I used to use to find drugs into meditation. I honestly can't believe how bad I was doing, because right now I think I might have one of the most wonderful lives in the world, I even have a beautiful wife now too!
So yea. Deep meditation states are more pleasurable than any drug, and the best way to really dive deep into meditation is to give spirituality a try with a totally open mind!
