• TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT

Where im now..

Thank you for that my friends.


I have been reading alot about why is it that i do feel like i do.
Some say that they are still not feel normal after 6 months from the jump.
One doctor wrote that 95% of subutex users never have to go through PAWS.
And im confused whats going on.


I do think you are right about the PAWS.I just have never experienced this before.
It helps alot when someone you trust says it.This is just so strange and tiresome.


I hope you all had a good weekend.
 
Hope you're doing alright 3m1l. I hear PAWS is pretty dang bad to get through. As far as I know, it's some kind of neurotransmitter regulation process, but I'm not an expert. I am going through something similar though, so I can sympathize. And I hope you hang in there!
 
One doctor wrote that 95% of subutex users never have to go through PAWS.
And im confused whats going on.

That doctor sounds like he's just trying to push pills, honestly, because that's absurd. Suboxone certainly produces PAWS like any other opiate, perhaps worse than most even. But yeah, it's just PAWS, you'll get through it. You can speed it up by exercising a lot and taking up any activities that make you feel interested and inspired. Try to break your routine as much as possible.
 
Hey 3,
Sorry it?s been awhile. I?ve been trying to build a lifestyle I can sustain because my old lifestyle has too many triggers (boredom and loneliness.

I need you to make an appointment with a therapist stat. This is no time to ?man up? and ?pull yourself up from the boot straps?. This is a time to go through your baggage and sort it so you feel lighter. And telling another human being is a huge part of that journey. Or you can always get a sponsor and work the steps. But you need to have an outlet. And as much as I love this community, interpersonal relationships in real life are incredibly important. If you have one friend that?s also in recovery in real life, well that really does change everything.

Now about the PAWS, I?m not sure what day your on but I?m on day 84, and I?m still going through it. Anxiety, depression, anhedonia, etc. but it?s weird sometimes it comes in full days or sometimes in waves just hourly. But I must tell you, I now have more good days than bad. Let this bring you hope.

You are loved my friend, from the people here listening, to your family, to the people you have yet to meet.
I?m sorry for your personal situation.
And hope for nothing but the best for you.
Be well my friend.
Becca
 
Hello darlin!!!

Just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you 3, and I hope you're doing well. What are you up to today?

Hugs,
your friend,
Ash.
 
Thinking of both you and Ash!

Hope you guys are alright today.

I am just sending some love and hugs and support!

I don't know what advise to give.
I am praying for us all and I hope the right help and answers come to each one of us for our individual needs.
❤️
 
Hi.
So much support,help and advices.Thank You for All of You.


I was stupid when i thought that i could get away years of substance abuse with just few weeks.
My new goal to feel somewhat normal is now next summer.Its only about 50 days from the day i stopped subu.


Depression+everything else usually lasts whole 24h...When i start to do something,then it comes and goes in waves.
Days still go by just doing whats needed and after that watching Snooker:Shanghai Masters rest of the day.


If i where to look help around me,its not happening.Everyone around me uses alcohol,some alot.
Maybe this goes away soon...i mean this cant last forever.
 
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You are experiencing the exact same thing as me now . I'm so unmotivated that even little tasks are hard to do . A friend offered me some Adderall and I almost took them, but I knew it would be a short term fix and declined them . After reading up on PAWS I've figured out that the higher the dose + time on the drug = long term PAWS. It sucks , but we have to fight to get through this. I hope your sleeping better now . I finally have gotten to where I can get 6hrs of decent sleep. I hope you start to feel better soon. Your friend , hik
 
You can expect to go through PAWS for awhile. Honestly I don't think it's avoidable realistically after a lengthy use of opiates. But I got faith in you 3m! You're a tough guy. Doing all those physical tasks while going through withdrawals, dang! You can do it! The main thing is getting your mind on other things.
 
Hi.Thanks for help and support.
Im sorry that you have to go through something like this Barbalos.
I think that was very smart move to start to take Lexapro.I may have to ask something like that too.
This thing is not going away.Im still depressed,anxiety is getting worse,sleep is still mostly 4-6hrs and i wake up alot.
And im enjoying burning headaches at night.

Now i dont know anymore what to change.I have been hiking,doing work,spent time in cabin...
Only good thing that has happened is i got my book order.

Viktor E. Frankl : Man?s Search For Meaning. I dont remember who mentioned it and what thread it was but Thank You.
That book has helped alot to get through this hell.I mean how beautiful is that part where he describes his love to his wife.

Did some reading about ssri meds and im not going to take them or anything else...im done with pills and withdrawals.
 
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Good to hear from you! Glad you are reading some books. I have just started doing that again myself.
I like the Dr. Drew #Thislifeyoulive podcast also! Great information on addiction, detox, healthy living, recovery!

I'm sorry that you are still feeling this bad. I think it does get a little better each day.
I think your idea of reading about SSRI's or using something else for this withdrawal is a very wise thing to do.

Using some loperamide for opiate withdrawal has fucked me over for months now.
I'm still sick from it. I had no idea it was so strong or had such bad effects or could even kill me!
I NEVER would have touched it, had I of known and I didn't use that much or for that long (in comparison to others).

I have decided the same thing as you. I am done trying to add this or that to "help" other symptoms, only to find myself in a worse situation!

The first thing I'm going to do if any doctor tries to give me anything is to research the side effects and "withdrawal" from that medication!

It is like- we will give you this medication to treat that but then you have all these other problems from that medication so you now need twenty other medications to treat those bad effects and so on until you are tortured to death!
 
You are absolutely right Painful.I wouldnt have ever thought that one could get this sick from pills.

This is wild how much this throws me up and down.Last night got 7hrs of sleep and woke up feeling good.Low motivation and some depression are the worst symptoms that just wont go away.And its bit difficult to be around other ppl.And that breaking up my routines has helped some.Im starting to think that maybe i can do this,im already searching gym.I use to go 5-6 times a week before i busted my shoulder.And cause the pains are gone i cant see any reason why not to start now.

Now i know what causes my headaches.I dropped smoking cigs and started to use snus.Thing is,i coudnt get my usual brand and was forced to buy something that is 3xtimes stronger.It has to be the nicotine that wakes me up at night and gives that headache.

I hope you have better times soon Painful.
 
Good to hear that you are starting to look around for a gym. I had been working out everyday before getting so sick from the loperamide. i am starting to feel well enough to get back to working out. I find that even just a 20 minute workout/stretching helps so much with my leg and back pain. It is so hard to get motivated enough to exercise but once I get started, it feels good and I don't want to stop! Lol! I have to keep myself from hurting myself usually.

I finally got a full night sleep and even slept in until 11:00 a.m. The nightmares are getting less and less. The severe stomach pain is easing up. Etc. I think I am through the worst and I am feeling so much better!

I am concentrating on self care right now. Long bath soaks in Epsom salts, foamy soaps that smell good. I find that aromatherapy helps me a lot. You should give that a try. The aromatherapy has helped my migraine cluster headaches a lot. Concentrating on eating healthy and resting. I'm exhausted from the last two months. I will never go through that again! I don't have to! That is a great feeling!

I know how bad headaches can get. Great job on figuring out that the nicotine alternative you bought was three times stronger than you were used to! That will definitely cause headaches and probably more anxiety and other issues also.

I am finding that it is so important to pay attention to everything I do and everything I put into my body.

We can do this! You are right! With a bit more time, patience, and self care/ pampering ourselves, we will be feeling real good soon!
Already feeling so much better!
 
Yep.That feeling good thing didnt last more than few hours.
Depression,grief,low motivation,no energy,slight anxiety,insomnia hit back like a lightning.
My head is really fucked and muddy.

Im starting to question myself why continue.My mind is undermining everything i do.
If things keep going like this i will start use subu again.I dont have energy anymore...besides this theres some really bad things going on and i cant face them if my mind is this wrecked.


Got finally few hours of sleep and feeling much better.
I dont think i would sacrifice all this time and start again somewhere in future.
 
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I'd give it another month and if your still feeling this bad then you may want to go to and get checked out by your doctor. Sometimes opiates can hide other health problems. There is some other antidepressant like Welbutrin that have a good reputation for being easy to stop taking them. Its a noradrenaline reuptake inhibitor that feels more natural than say the SSRI'S. I took it for about a year and stopped with no problems . Research the web for other options. I hope you get better soon . Your friend hik
 
Thanks for that hik.
I have tomorrow time to private hospital/clinic,they do full medical check up.All ready took all samples last friday.
I was thinking that i ask some kind of opioid rx.It would be fairly easy to get with my medical backround...but will see that tomorrow.

I have just insane stress going on and im afraid that i run back to using street drugs.Dad?s health is crumbling.He started to get seizures and theres something wrong in his heart and doctors dont know what it is.His blood pressure is 100/something and they said that below 112 is dangerous.

Hope you are doing good my friend.
 
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Sorry to hear about your dad. That is tough. Very stressful also.

You and your family are in my prayers.

❤️
 
I Hope your dad gets better. Dont feel bad if you need meds to hold things together . It happens to all of us . Sometimes they are required to keep from losing it. Stay strong!!!!
----your friend, hik
 
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I Hope your dad gets better. Dont feel bad if you need meds to hold things together . It happens to all of us . Sometimes they are required to keep from losing it. Stay strong!!!!
----your friend, hik

Yes. I completely agree with hik. I can't make it without medications. I would be bed ridden.
I need/ needed the medication for pain but also for mental "holding it together" during my dads illness.
The right medication and the correct dosage can be a lifesaver.
Don't feel bad about it. It does happen to all of us.
I appreciated your message hik.
Thanks.

It is amazing how others around me at least, make me feel so bad for needing medication and they are on medication!
The hypocrisy and judgement is so strange and unnecessary!
I hate that everyone looks at anyone who needs pain medication as an addict who needs "tough love".
I hate that has been taught to others! As if those who require medications need anymore pressure, isolation, judgement, hurt, etc.

I had a real rough time taking care of my dad though a very bad and rare disease known as "Double Parkinson's Disease".
I am glad that I was able to be there for my dad though. I made sure he got treated right from everyone and took really good care of him. I found the one and only specialist on this disease and made sure he always had his medication.
It was really my pleasure to be able to be with him during that time.
He has always taken such good care of me.
 
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