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Any funny drug stories threads?

P

Patrickforsterter

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 17, 2018
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464
I remember seeing a really cool thread about dealers and their stories obviously no details that could give them away but some of those stories could probably be sold for money anyway I'm in the mood to hear some funny or tragic, or both could someone point me in the right direction thanks.
 
I dunno how far this will go before being shut down, but I called my hospital to leave an inporntant message for a doctor. I then proceeded to smke some decent herb. so just as it was kicing in, the phone rang. Of course it was kicking in, I answered the phone and low and behold it was iy was my doctor. I tried to be profesional, but the doctor caught on and chuckled, then talked slower to me. That was akward!
 
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Once got extremely fucked up on xanax and booze and decided it would be a good idea to take the trash out buck naked at 3am. My driveway is at least 100yards, i hope no one saw me. i found my underwear on the porch in the morning.

It was a good thing i didn't feel the need to go for a walk down the road
 
One time I’d been awake around 4days give or take doing speed (dextroamphetamine not meth) and had taken like 4mg Klonopin that morning and had to go get something from this small grocery store nearby. Anyway I was really out of it kept forgetting where I was or what I was looking for so I have this brilliant idea “more speed will help me remember!” So having forgotten where I was I take out my baggy of finely crushed d-amphetamine powder and pour a bump onto a key and very loudly snort it (I wasn’t being discreet at all, guess I was so used to doing it at home I thought nothing of it) as soon as I snort it the burn snaps me out of the daze I was in. I look around frantically to see if anyone was around to see it (thankfully there wasn’t) but there was a security camera over my head idk if it was facing me and there was someone in the aisle beside me who had to of heard but didn’t say anything (either didn’t know what was going on or didn’t care). Somehow staying calm (not an easy task on an amp binge) I quickly find what I needed pay for it and leave but I stayed outa that place for like a month lol
 
Having binged on amphetamine sulphate for several weeks, I got it in my head that the route I cycled to work every day would be the perfect place for dealers to stash their drugs. All I had to do was find them. So one night after work, I took 6 hours to complete the two mile journey home because I was searching through all the hedgerows and trees on the way. I thought I'd struck gold when I found a plastic wrapped pack of soggy newspapers covered in a powdery residue dumped in the hedge. I was convinced that the dealers had impregnated the newspapers with a cocaine solution, so I dragged them home with a view to finding a way of extracting the cocaine. When I got home I got distracted by taking my computer to pieces and wanking myself stupid over porn.

The next day when I finally regained a semblance of sanity, I realised that the powdery residue on the newspapers was just mould. FML...
 
my s.o. was keeping acid in the refrigerator and wanted to do some and couldn't find it. i had thrown it out because i didn't know it was there. had to tell after i saw the tears i was able to remember the exact place i had thrown it and what garbage it was next to in the (lol) dumpster outside the apt. we dug through all of the trash and found it. And it was the best acid trip ever !!!! it was awesome. 😶‍🌫️ lol
😁💩
 
crazyhairman said:
Let's go for it. I got hundreds of stories.
Running from cops stories.
Dumb ass drug dealers.
Awkward moments.
Robberies.
Street fights.
Click to expand...
Hell yeah. Hit me with dumb dealers, robberies and street fights! More so on the rob and fight
 
I've told this story in other threads but one night at a party I took a bunch of Klonopin and we started playing the drinking game where you spin a quarter and chug your beer till it stops. Well my quarter stopped but I thought " I'll be a badass and finish off my beer"

Consumed in a haze I notice some black dude with dreads sitting on a toilet is tapping me "Yo dawg. Let me get that. Yo dawg! Let me get that!" I quickly sit up and hand him the toilet paper roll I had been using as a pillow on the floor.

Ah fuck.... I'm in jail... Yep. Jail.

I had already made my call because I was quickly bonded out. I had no idea as to how or why I was arrested so I started reading the police report.

Apparently I decided to go back behind the cooler at a 7-11 and help myself to a 12pk because it was past 2am and alcohol sales had stopped. The lady yelled at me to stop and said she was calling the cops. To which I responded.
"Call the fucking cops" and then sat down on the curb of the store drinking beer waiting for the cops when my car was right in front of me... Thank God.

I then get a call from my friend who yells through the phone.
"Dude! Where the fuck are you? Everyone is looking for you to beat your ass."
"What?"
"You stole everyone's shit at the party last night."
"No I didn't."

I then walk around to the trunk and open it up. I am absolutely stunned by what I see. A bunch of clothes, shoes, purses, wallets in the clothes, a vase, stereo and a giant bag of Kibbles and Bits... WTF!

As I was told by my friend everyone decided to go skinny dipping at some point and when they all got out I was gone with all their clothes, purses and the other assorted items. I wound up apologizing, explaining exactly what happened and returning all the stuff with little more than a few laughs and some looks of disbelief.
 
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Dirtiest thing you’ve done on meth amphetamines is a great thread to read on this forum
 
Back in my teen years our first few dealers were soo insane. They would be like the Beavis and Butt-Heads of the drug game. All us younger kids would pool our money together and the leader of our group would actually deal with these older kids. Some times they would just short the fuck out of us because they could.

They were always hours late, shorted sacks, and were NEVER sober. So one day we had been waiting on one of these guys to drop off a half ounce.

We were just walking down the street in broad daylight, when he pulled up next to us in a loud mustang with all the windows rolled down blasting terrible rap music. Immediately drawing all the attention in the neighborhood, I just wanted to get our weed and get off the street.

The dude was obviously too messed up to drive. Slurring his words, face looked like it melted. Back then I had never seen people on real drugs before much less driving around like that.

After 5 minutes standing in the street next to this idiot he finally had it weighed out probably, but, he didn't have a bag. So he looked around and found a pink sheet of paper to use. As he drives away he did a burnout.

As we get back to our chilling spot me and my buddy just joking around about the shit we just went through to get a small sack. My buddy started laughing hysterically when he unwrapped the weed. The paper he used to wrap the bud in was his car inspection invoice. It had all of his and his grandma's information on it. What a goober lol.
 
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