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Gibberings ver. CCXVII - More Mouth Than A Cow Has Cunt

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still clean and actually not had a massive downer since wednesday. i've got a long backlog so sure something other emotions i should have felt years ago are waiting to pop up. i've discovered drugs really do only mask pain and when you stop you get everything you've suppressed in quick succession.
well done keep it up!
 
Yeah that's bloody brilliant, keep at it.

Weed is the best drug for the simple reason it doesn't create hugely unnatural feelings of happiness like coke and H do. Sure it can be addictive and habit forming in itself, but it kinda enhances normal feelings rather than creating them out of nothing if that makes sense?

Yeah I'm too much of a wuss to handle minor opiate withdrawal lol I wouldn't survive a major habit. But in the right circumstances at certain times of life I could easily have fallen down that road just thankfully never been around it.
 
still clean and actually not had a massive downer since wednesday. i've got a long backlog so sure something other emotions i should have felt years ago are waiting to pop up. i've discovered drugs really do only mask pain and when you stop you get everything you've suppressed in quick succession.

glad you're ok and have decided opiates aren't for you. i really think they're a not even once drug now but given you're past that i genuinely hope its never again for you cos every time you mess with them you're playing with fire and they'll sit there patiently waiting for you to run to them in a time of pain.

haha i can't smoke weed anymore i was a stoner for 10 years straight and stopped when i got on the dark, every time i smoke it now i hate it. can't say the same about b unfortunately.

To echo other comments, well done chinup, you're doing great!! I must admit, many people (myself included) had doubts when you were going into it as to whether or not you would succeed as it seemed you didn't really want to go, but you've done amazing and proved everyone who doubted your commitment wrong...

Fantastic work mate and keep at it. The past is the past and you're clearly a very bright lass with a wonderful future ahead.
 
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I have to say, between GPs and hospitals, hospitals are the worst, they seem to have set policies round here, one size fits all, whether it's a sore throat, or barely surviving after a car wreck.

10mg oral morphine is the limit apparently, as an initial dose, further 10 if it isn't enough. Orally. Been told (and I'd brought in past rx forms to serve as proof of heavy opioid tolerance, long term)

At the time I got told that is all they are ALLOWED to give, I'd been blasted in the face by a searing hot jet of corrosive alkaline unpleasantries, after someone had fucked with something they oughtn't to have fucked with, leading me to believe it was NaOH, and when I came to clean out the bottle, only then, did I find out it was lithium amide, among other things. Just about had time to cap the bottle, shake, before realizing 'OH FUCKING SHIT' and being next to a door, to lob the swelling bottle out of the door before it exploded, burst through the cap whilst spinning through the air, unfortunately, at an under-slung sort of arc, pointing upwards. Knocked the goggles off from over my eyes, and hit me in my left eye, along with getting covered from mid-upper torso to forehead with super-heated steam and searing corrosive alkali. Near blinded me permanently, and it was blatantly obvious that I'd been severely injured at the time and wasn't playing them, ended up having to beg one decent medic who came to see me, explaining the problem, and reminding him that even a non-tolerant patient would find 20mg oral morphine next to nothing, for a tank of nitrous, which thankfully he either brought me or had someone bring me (had my leather coat wrapped round my head at the time, light was absolute agony).

And most of the times I've been in there, I've either been forced to withdraw, despite proof of what I'm meant to be taking, until something obvious like a seizure happens, or I've learned from that and brought in a supply of my own, and kept that on the sly.
 
^ I'd say bollocks on that what you have been told, LC. I can say this for FACT! cos I was given five shots of SC morphine within the space of a few hours when I had to go to A&E with a chest infection last year. Admittedly they seemed to think it was summat more serious but I told them repeatedly it was clearly a chest infection. Turns out we were both... not quite right cos it was a combination of chest infection and acute constipation :eek:

Fukkin hurt though so I did not complain one bit - quite frankly it wasn't until after the fifth shot I got any relief at all... but I did get relief - and a couple boxes of DHC as a take-home - and I think we all know that "that's all we are allowed to do" is always utter, utter bollocks. Not to say piss should be taken - it definitely should not - but bullshit should also be kept to a minimum.

I bet if you had almost unlimited access and took them every day within a year you'd be exactly where i was...

I did and it did. I was knocking back 6-800mg/day within a week of regular oxy access. Shit is just very easy to take and very hard not to. Doesn't help that it feels kinda mild but still very euphoric to folks with tolerance. The kicker comes from fent which is strong as all fukkery but boring and bland as shit. Together they make for an excellent script whether your own or acquired elsewhere. Also likely to totally fuck up major parts of your life. Whilst significantly helping others. Yay opiates. Woot.

still clean, up and down like a yoyo. thanks for asking. how are you?

just got back from a positive thinking workshop. it was shit.

=D

Also, :D and <3
 
I knew full well they'd been talking horse shit. Last time I was in, albeit after a long delay and never on time, I was given at least the oral morphine, 100mg twice daily, although they couldn't get the oxy right, or be arsed. And that was on the ward, not a first-response after surgery on one of my legs.

Still...seems a bit much to even THINK a guy is trying to get free opioids if they've proof they are a chronic pain patient, and have quite literally, been flayed, as well as near blinded in one eye by boiling corrosives. That isn't the kind of thing even the most desperate junkie would do in terms of self injury to gain opioids, and PH strip testing showing, after washing, a PH of 14 or greater, is pretty much positive proof that the truth is being told, no?

And besides, what junkie would have lithium amide and alkoxide wastes they needed to dispose of. The first I could see, from a meth cook's Birch-B, but tBuOK?

That said, I've had the displeasure of meeting certain individuals who just shouldn't have passed medical school.

Like the doctor who wanted first to start a drip of one of the penicillins, right after being told, when he asked about allergies 'anaphylaxis to penicillin-type beta-lactams', literally, about as soon as the words left my mouth...actually continued, set it up, turned it on and told me he'd come back to check in 10 minutes. Who the fuck does something like that?

Second choice was metronidazole, and he would have done it too, after being told that I'd downed a large bottle of southern comfort to kill the pain.

NOT a good combination, stuff is well known for causing an antabuse type reaction. Even after my explaining exactly what, and how it does what it does if the two are combined, he still said 'oh you'll be fine' and would have done it, if I had not told him 'no chance' or words to that effect. Second time I've had the former happen, although the other was a GP, wrote a script for co-amoxiclav, after asking the same things about allergies.
 
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Limpet- you do know that the current best medical advice for chronic pain is NOT to prescribe opiates cos they make things worse in the long term?

I had major fears about not being prescribed opiates for chronic pain cos i'm due some after smashing my elbow (it fragmented), even though i'd only want them as a last resort cos they'd jeopardise my recovery. the doctor said that for a) my particular issue and b) general chronic pain, long term opiates aren't the best treatment available. i'm not justifying them not giving you enough to prevent rattling. but if you want the best medical outcome, not a fuckoff opiate script, then get a better pain doctor cos whoever is prescribing you opiates is doing you a disservice. granted it was a private dr, so prepared to put in more time for the best treatment not get you out the door the fastest, in a rehab, so not likely to be pro opiate for a heroin addict, but i've corroborated what was said after.

anyone else hoping we get an announcement of people's vote in 7 mins?
 
I’ve made this point before, you will be referred to a pain management specialist within four weeks (usually much sooner) because no one will risk their registration. Least of all for dishing out a few pills.

So I refer you back to Jay from Inbetweeners.
 
It will come as a shock to no one that having four boxes of 100 DHC has resulted in me eating them like sweets daily and my tolerance going mad. Funnily enough though I got a bottle of codeine linctus today and taking about 120-210mg DHC with the linctus gets me far higher than boshing 300mg+ DHC on its own. That combo of DHC and codeine really makes it.
 
I WANT to be given a pain management appt.

I had one once, but my old man drove me to the wrong hospital, wythenshawe, not withington. Making me over 10min late, and they wouldn't see me.

We made a mistake, pretty sure it was withington, may have been salford royal, and I've been waiting a long time for another appt.

I've been waiting for a neurologist appt too, recently they sent me a letter apologizing for the time taken, I've been waiting nearly a year, after that snafu. I couldn't go myself, because I cannot legally drive because of the seizures. Not that I could afford a car anyway.

Hoping I'll get the neuro appt this month though.

As for DHC, use a bromide salt of an alkali metal, sodium or potassium bromide are the most cheap and widely available, and per gram of freebase DHC, use 2ml of a 33% anhydrous HBr gas in GAA, and 2ml of GAA as solvent, 90-100 'C,hour or two, and it selectively, mostly at least, demethylates the 6'OH and esterifies it to the monoacetyl ester of dihydromorphine. Very easy, and the product is much more potent than DHC or heroin, massive rush, very euphoric and quite the delightful opioid, I can't wait to try glacial propionic acid instead to give the 6-monopropionic ester.

By far the best use of DHC. I'd never take DHC itself as such, That 6-AcO-ester (a proportion of dihydroheroin is also formed as a byproduct, but that particular byproduct, I can live with not removing =D)) but mostly its the monoester.


WHATTARUSH that stuff gives on IV. In fact I'd go as far as to say I enjoy it more than I do dipropionylmorphine, high praise indeed for this bee, nigh unheard of praise.
 
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I WANT to be given a pain management appt.

I had one once, but my old man drove me to the wrong hospital, wythenshawe, not withington. Making me over 10min late, and they wouldn't see me.

We made a mistake, pretty sure it was withington, may have been salford royal, and I've been waiting a long time for another appt.

I've been waiting for a neurologist appt too, recently they sent me a letter apologizing for the time taken, I've been waiting nearly a year, after that snafu. I couldn't go myself, because I cannot legally drive because of the seizures. Not that I could afford a car anyway.

Hoping I'll get the neuro appt this month though.

As for DHC, use a bromide salt of an alkali metal, sodium or potassium bromide are the most cheap and widely available, and per gram of freebase DHC, use 2ml of a 33% anhydrous HBr gas in GAA, and 2ml of GAA as solvent, 90-100 'C,hour or two, and it selectively, mostly at least, demethylates the 6'OH and esterifies it to the monoacetyl ester of dihydromorphine. Very easy, and the product is much more potent than DHC or heroin, massive rush, very euphoric and quite the delightful opioid, I can't wait to try glacial propionic acid instead to give the 6-monopropionic ester.

By far the best use of DHC. I'd never take DHC itself as such, That 6-AcO-ester (a proportion of dihydroheroin is also formed as a byproduct, but that particular byproduct, I can live with not removing =D)) but mostly its the monoester.


WHATTARUSH that stuff gives on IV. In fact I'd go as far as to say I enjoy it more than I do dipropionylmorphine, high praise indeed for this bee, nigh unheard of praise.


Rather than read a lot of white noise, I’d like to state, you can request a referral or sometimes make the referral yourself depending on gp surgery.
 
So the boiler blew up Friday night, ripping the pipe out of the water tank in the roof, completely covering everything in the roof in water, the entirety is now in a skip, who needs childhood memories right ?
I do have one beautiful gapping hole in my bathroom ceiling tho, I have a sick 6 year old in the house with no heating or water, Christmas has already fucked the wallet, I'm just about to replace 2 dining room chairs at ?150 so my ungrateful arsehole of a brother and his significant other has something to sit on xmas day (I suggested a park bench) Cluster headaches playing up big time too, Can I give up yet ??
 
Can I give up yet ??

No!

The fact that you have had the presence of mind to tackle the issues so far and post on here is more than proof positive that you are stoic enough to keep moving. I would have gone to pieces and coma'd out on drugs the second the boiler went down, never mind the damage caused.
 
So the boiler blew up Friday night, ripping the pipe out of the water tank in the roof, completely covering everything in the roof in water, the entirety is now in a skip, who needs childhood memories right ?
I do have one beautiful gapping hole in my bathroom ceiling tho, I have a sick 6 year old in the house with no heating or water, Christmas has already fucked the wallet, I'm just about to replace 2 dining room chairs at ?150 so my ungrateful arsehole of a brother and his significant other has something to sit on xmas day (I suggested a park bench) Cluster headaches playing up big time too, Can I give up yet ??
Go on to freecycle website you can get all sorts that people give away - i got a 300 quid bookshelf last year
 
Is freecycle any good? I have a leather three seater sofa I bought last year that I have no use of now I've redecorated, and I've tried various facebook and gumtree ads, but seems unless you can drop it off, nobody wants sofas.
 
Cheers Stee I decided to hang on in there, its just bloody typical it happens this time of year, I would of killed for the extra ventilation in the summer time aha

Yeah freecycle is a good shout, to be honest I already have the chairs I just need them repaired, never buy hardwood furniture people
 
yo would sending a male stripper dressed as a police officer to a synth noid smoking paranoid friend make me a cunt? I would love to observe his reaction plus it would be a punishment beside being a prank because he recently relapsed after 3 months being clean and he is back to having this huge tolerance and ugly addiction to them, idk if he would even be able to go to open the door but it may be worth a try if the price requested by the stripper is right.
 
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