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Thread: Julys Getting Sober and staying Clean Thread Vs,Summer time is here!

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    #51
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    Glad to hear from you sim, how do you like the new place? Hope your getting on well.
     

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    #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by bptubbs View Post
    Glad to hear from you sim, how do you like the new place? Hope your getting on well.
    thanks, man! I'm loving the new area...it's the first time I've lived around close friends for many years, and I hadn't realized how nice it is having friends IRL .
     

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    #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by simco View Post
    Sorry I've been so absent lately...first week at my new job and I had forgotten how all-consuming it is working 40hrs/week. Not bad, just exhausting. Thinking of you all.

    [edited in later]
    ... oh also, I've been dealing with some uncomfortable (but not horrible) symptoms b/c I've been too busy to make my kratom tea the last few days. As per usual, didn't realize I'd gotten dependent on that damned yard waste again until the WDs came.
    If this happens again, it would seem there is some value in the mega dosing vitamin C thing. I wouldn't expect it to do too much with something like heroin withdrawal, but it did seem to help with this.

    It's really nice to hear you're doing well dude I'm not too far behind

    http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/...4#post14379794

    Quote Originally Posted by somnilicious View Post
    Yep.. Guess that solves that but I still wants me PAWS suppliments thread back and can't be arsed to type it out again...lol
    Still need a hand with this?
    Last edited by toothpastedog; 30-07-2018 at 06:46.
     

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    #54
    I made what I consider to be a huge and somewhat difficult step in my ongoing recovery process last week: I decided to get rid of my 30+ year collection of "druggie rock star" biographies (for lack of a better term)!

    I had them all: Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain, Scott Weiland, Layne Staley, Anthony Kiedis, Motley Crue (including "The Heroin Diaries" by Nikki Sixx), Steven Tyler/Aerosmith, Sid Vicious/Sex Pistols... the list goes on!

    I thought about donating them to the library but decided to dispose of them in the trash/recycling pickup instead, for the simple reason that I didn't want anybody to be influenced by them the way that I was.

    A lot of them were autobiographies written with the intention of warning readers about the dangers of drug addiction. Unfortunately, my warped mind would finish reading 200 pages about how somebody wrecked their lives and think, "Hmm, that sounds like fun."!

    I've already found myself reaching for one a few times, then chuckling to myself as I gazed at an empty bookshelf! Now the only books I own are on topics like exercise and nutrition, philosophy, art, etc.

    Peace, Love and Faith,
    Dreamflyer
     

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    #55
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    Been having a rough time lately... don't really see any reason to stay clean, yet I still am... if i came into contact with anything at this point there's zero doubt that I'd relapse.
     

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    #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by bptubbs View Post
    Been having a rough time lately... don't really see any reason to stay clean, yet I still am... if i came into contact with anything at this point there's zero doubt that I'd relapse.
    ugh...I HATE that headspace. I still really struggle with motivation for staying quit. One thing I have learned that helps a little (despite being pretty obvious)...it always gets better. That is, I can often convince myself, "OK, you want to get high right now--give it another day or two." If I can hang in, things eventually resolve, though it's certainly true that the wait is awful. Best luck, tubbs
     

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    #57
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    My hopes are blighted, my heart is broken, my life a burden, everything around me is sad and mournful; earth has become distasteful to me, and human voices distract me. It is mercy to let me die, for if I live I shall lose my reason and become mad.
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    Quote Originally Posted by bptubbs View Post
    Been having a rough time lately... don't really see any reason to stay clean, yet I still am... if i came into contact with anything at this point there's zero doubt that I'd relapse.
    How are you feeling man? Are you doing ok?

    I'm trying to be well myself.
     

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    #58
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    Ptsd has been kicking my ass... kinda just losing touch with feelings again.
     

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    #59
    know how you feel broman, was 3 days clean (lol pathetic ik) but relapsed today. since starting dope n opiates havent made it two fuckin weeks without using. just dont see a reason not to. have no goals, aspirations, anything. kinda just wanna use till i eventually OD n die. seems the best way at least i can be high till I die, but have no finances to afford it. don't listen to me though, im fucked in the head, if you can stay clean man and hold on to every moment you have. personally i still have some days I feel OK without using, other days obviously not. but for real this life is a dream man who really cares wtf happens.
     

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    #60
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    3 days is nothing to scoff at man, that means you made it through 3 days of withdrawals... it took me 6 months of trying to get off opiates to finally kick the habit.

    Picked up a nasty meth habit a couple years later, no withdrawal really... just a lack of any sort of pleasure in life.
     

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    #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by JunkBrain View Post
    know how you feel broman, was 3 days clean (lol pathetic ik) but relapsed today. since starting dope n opiates havent made it two fuckin weeks without using. just dont see a reason not to. have no goals, aspirations, anything. kinda just wanna use till i eventually OD n die. seems the best way at least i can be high till I die, but have no finances to afford it. don't listen to me though, im fucked in the head, if you can stay clean man and hold on to every moment you have. personally i still have some days I feel OK without using, other days obviously not. but for real this life is a dream man who really cares wtf happens.
    Have you considered some kind of maintenance? Is cycling on and off using normal for you? Sounds like stability might do you some good. As always, it should be your call either way. Just try to keep your head up and trying

    Quote Originally Posted by bptubbs View Post
    3 days is nothing to scoff at man, that means you made it through 3 days of withdrawals... it took me 6 months of trying to get off opiates to finally kick the habit.
    So well put. Why aren't you on staff in RS?

    I think it's taken about 12 years to really begin dealing with a full depth of life's joys and sorrows without resorting to some kind of opioid use. I'd envy people who figured it out in less time, but I yam who I yam

    Then again, I cannot fathom how difficult methamphetamine abstinence can be post active addiction...
     

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    #62
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    ^maybe one day, sober living and the dark side are the two forums closest to my heart, but I'm not psychologically ready.

    Physically, other than being tired alot there isn't much difficulty... psychologically it's a constant bombardment of cravings and emotional blunting... I can see why 88% of meth users relapse within 3 years... it changes the way you think, the way you feel...
     

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    #63
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    My hopes are blighted, my heart is broken, my life a burden, everything around me is sad and mournful; earth has become distasteful to me, and human voices distract me. It is mercy to let me die, for if I live I shall lose my reason and become mad.
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    Quote Originally Posted by bptubbs View Post
    Ptsd has been kicking my ass... kinda just losing touch with feelings again.
    I know that feeling man.
     

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    #64
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    We’re almost into August so this may not be the best place to ask, but would anyone be interested in me sharing my experiences with Memantine? It’s very cool how it seems to eliminate cravings. And is helpful the anxiety (big time).
     

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