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Hello from the GPNW

Punkin2x74

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 2, 2018
Messages
4
Hi My name is Punkin2x74. I am a wife, mother, daughter, sister, chronic pain patient. My mom is alive, my dad killed him self with......., get this,........."A bad Speed Ball". I looked at the Dr. Standing in front of the little girl who still loves her daddy and says "Is there a Good One?"

So, like many other people I have been hit by the CDC, National Opioid Crisis.

I have remembered pain in my body since I was a little 8 yo girl standing at the kitchen sink crying because my legs were on fire.. By the time I was getting out of high school I was told I was going to have to have knee surgery AND I would have dentures by the time I was 30. But, one morning in 1995 something strange happened. I got out of bed and fell back into bed. My feet wouldn't hold me up. My boyfriend/baby daddy would have to sit me up because my muscles wouldn't work correctly. So I go to the docs. He diagnosed me with anyone wana guess? *********Drums please********** FMS. At that time it was fibrositis and they told you you were over weight and it was in your head. Do this this and that and you'll feel better. So I did that, that, and oh yeah, that just for shyts and giggles and nope didn't help. So, for 11 years I busted my ass through the pain. There was a couple times in-between where I had teeth pulled and realized that wow wait my pain was much more manageable after having my teeth removed. So I went to the doc and asked him. He said nope it won't work. But we will send you to every specialist under the sun and have nerve conduction test that say your okay etcetc. Well, the neurologist says to me after treating me like his personal voodoo doll for the day have you heard about Dr. B? I said no where is he he said I dunno but I'll put in recommendation for you.

Now let me just say this man is the best Dr. I have ever had. What I am going through right now was my choice 100% but with the stigmas that is going around with the national news and crackdown I chose to do it this way because well I am damned and determined.

I digress. I went through it all the strict 90 day elimination diet (doc was so excited about this. All his pts lost about 50#'s doing it, me I found 2 items I was sensitive to that would flare the FMS but my weight did not change). It was about 4 years later though not a change in diet or activity I dropped 60#'s in 2 months. I always lost and gained like that. I did massage therapy, aqua therapy, trigger point injections, chiropractic care, and maintained pretty well. Then My bff and I were rearended by a semi truck the night before Thanksgiving on our way home from work. There was no broken bones or bloodshed but for me the damage was done. My upper thorascic area is bad my neck is mad as that hatter all the time. My lower back is feeling like Darth Vader fought Luke for the force on it. You get the picture. So, when I see Dr. B we discussed different pain meds BC at this time I was on maintenance of tramadol and hydrocodone for breakthrough pain. We tried something else and I made my head fuzzy and see I don't like that feeling so I said nope. I just want the pain gone. Tried oxycontin and didn't like it. I didn't like feeling like I couldn't manage myself. I used to drink but when I started seeing Dr. B we figured out alcohol was my other flare. Damned it. So I cut it out with one swipe. I was an occasional drinker anyways. But when I did I could drink some of the best under the table. Lol. Hahahaha sorry I had to laugh at that visual.

So, about a year after the accident i once again at my monthly apt am talking about my pains and he says have you ever heard of the pain patch. You put one on for 3 days and don't have to worry about it. **twist eyebrow inquisitively** "well no but let's try it" Dr. B has always called me his conundrum because you screw me one way and I unscrew the exact opposite. We noticed right away my pain returned at about 48hra. Okay so we do 15 instead of 10 a mo. I never got a patch that came with a cover I always bought mine online. Well then the breakthrough meds stopped working. And I think this is where we efffed up. I think instead of messing with the BTMs we should have adjusted the patch but whatever. So we have now gone though this cycle many many times. I ended my highest dosage at 100mcgh fentanyl patch every 48 hrs and 160mgs of oxycodone a day.

So, about 3 months ago doc says we are tappering everyone off the patch. They work good for you guys but yada yada yada. I know and I understand. So okay where we go. We do 100's that mo, 75's next mo. 50's at the beginning of this mo. But where as I could control my dosing of the oxy once I got down to the 50"s I started noticing I was thinking about pain all the time. I was now carrying my pills in my pocket. Which I never did before. So, I had my malencrodet patches and started cutting them down even more. And same with my oxycodone. I'd take 1/2 and toss 1/2 . now I didn't no about the slight disastrous consequences of not having imodeium on hand talk about mud butt. And I am so glad my husband is basically a workahoholic. My youngest daughter just moved out so I don't have to deal with the feelings of that but what I do have to deal with is this......

#1. WHEN N THE HELL DOES THE FREEZING GO AWAY?????????

#2. WHEN WILL I FEEL NORMAL (IF I EVER REALLLY WAS?) AGAIN

#3. WTH IS WITH MY EYES. I FEEL LIKE IM SEEING EVERYTHING THROUGH NEW 3D EYES AND ITS FREAKING ME THE HELL OUT! Or like I'm stunned out of my head and I am not.

I don't socialize with alot of people and I've definitely stayed away from the illegal drug culture so this is all new to me.

Okay I guess I'll get this up so you can read it and leme know what you think. Oh btw it's been roughly in total 11 days.

Oh and P.S. I HATE ME NOSE. WTH IS WRONG WITH IT! DOES EVERYTHING STINK NOW?

THANKS AGAIN PUNKIN.
 
Damn, quite an ordeal you have been through. Welcome, what brought you to bluelight?
 
D's I've known about BL for quite awhile. When you look up the meds you were taking BL used to be the gold standard for info. I see now though that they are filtering it way back in the search archives behind the "we fucked up now we are going to label you a drug seeker and make you go to rehab links" and as far as what brought me here.......today.......#'s 1, 2, 3 and the p.s. I've been fully Opioid free for 11 days. And wondering if normalcy will return soon. Esp. The insomnia. That's what's killing me now. I'll tell Dr. B what I did on Thursday and see what he recommends but it will be a strong before I get up that high mg again.
 
And OMFG I "THINK" I figured out what the stink is. Since detoxing I keep smelling this heavy stinky aroma and it's bad. It's like a cross between a beer factory and kitty litter. Well my hubby went and bought a albertsons sub Sammie tonight and I thought ohhhhh I haven't really ate Anything in 11 days sounds yummo. So I bring said 1 inch by 6 inch PC up to nose and begun sneezing and retching for the life of me. And it was right then I knew what it was. YEAST!!!!!!; and bwhahahahaha hah guess what my husband works for a very well known area bakery so I'm not going to get rid of this awful fucking smelll. EVER!!!!!! Sweet Baby Jesus!!!!!!
 
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