Celebrate tomorrow or next week - Morphine Experience and Harm Reduction

[Synthetic123]

Hello, this is my first post so hope it goes well and don't write anything that I am not supposed to. (If so let me know) I am just wondering as to the opinion / past experiences of others.I started off using opiates around a year ago for fun, starting from Tramadol, Codeine, Oral Morphine, Oxycodone to Fentanyl Patches. All pure and obtained from a friend who can guarantee as works closely in the industry. I made sure there would be a line at first, that no progression to IV which I maintain. Long story short, I tried Oxy and couldn't get high, two Fentanyl patches on the skin with heat sometimes made me tired and semi good but wasn't worth the risk of OD so stopped that. The only thing that would ever make me feel good was Oral morphine, but in excessive quantities. I'm talking 100mg - 200mg a day in the oral solution (maybe the ethanol contributed as was 8% a bottle and I would 2 x 100ml a day). It got bad as was doing this four times a week, sometimes five and didn't realise the road I was taking to addiction and tolerance, I eventually took it to wave off that extreme cold/warm feeling and night sweats.I thought I could stop, this being after 6-8 months of at least 100-200mg oral morphine three to four times a week, tried Diazepam and Lorazepam for the withdrawal but it wouldn't help much. I then said to myself enough is enough. I was due to go on holiday, took Lorazepam and Buprenorphine before boarding the flight, felt horrible for the first five days during withdrawal after they all wore off, but afterwards (15 days in Cuba) came back with no issues and drug free.Now I know that it can spiral out of control I will adapt as soon I will be taking a university exam (my last ever) and getting a job in which drug use is not tolerated. Without going into the job details, I wouldn't put others at risk and would never work whilst high as it is a demanding and involves lots of precision tasks, it would cost me everything I hold dear in life and too much has gone into this job. Therefore, from the GP I get 300/500ml bottle of Morphine a month. Now I will stick to once a week to avoid tolerance at the weekend when I am free and no withdrawal into the week ahead, my supply from the GP is limited so I couldn't blow it all and ask for more as she is aware of my future career and the risks involved if I asked for more as could report me for abuse.My question being, as I have been Morphine free for 20 days now, should my brain have recovered? As tomorrow I obtain the bottle from GP and pharmacy and plan to start the Saturday fun, limiting to once a week. I shall stick to it as circumstances force my hand and if I went back to old ways I would probably be caught and I have too much to loose for that to happen. I have a stable supply of Morphine and safe to do so legally, SHOULD I START THIS SATURDAY (Exam is next Friday) as the morphine is completely out of my system or wait until next Saturday? I wouldn't want to take some Saturday, then crave it all week as my body maybe still repairing and be not 100% for the exam.*** I'm trying to determine if I take it this Saturday would it alter my brain pathways back to before as currently in repair and should wait until next week, or because it is all out wouldn't it matter as no withdrawal and just recreational use?BTW, I will do 50mg then another 50mg to get back into it. I hope you have some experience into recovery from addiction to recreational, for those who may say it could go back to before (IT REALLY COULDN'T), because of the new job, lack of original supply as friend is no longer able to obtain, I realise my mistake and hated myself for it. I felt shame for what I was doing and considered telling my other half to be truthful, especially during withdrawal when caring for me and not understanding why I cant tolerate temp, am going through mood swings, crying to him and not being able to function correctly. Now I have the chance for the perfect job, happy life and will never look back. But life without fun is well no fun, therefore I want to still go once a week, I just don't know if 21 days after is too soon for the body and brain to repair and is still fragile or recovered and strong again? Thanks for reading this and hope to hear from you all

 

[Chris42393]

21 days isnt bad, but you wont be back to where you first started when taking opiates. If you want to have a lower tolerance, id wait like 2 months (at least in my case that worked). I went from taking 90mg of hydrocodone to taking 10-20mg for a long time. Opiates tend to have a STRONG pull on people. You tell yourself it will only be once a week, but after continual use...that will become 2 times, and 3 times, etc. TRUST ME. I have a great job and that hasnt stopped me from using. If i were you, id by a time locked safe. That you can set it to open only 1 time a week. So that if you want to use it more then once, you cant because its locked up and you cant get into it. I did that and it worked pretty good.

 

[falsifiedhypothesi]

If these are such dire consequences why go back at all? Why take the risk? I'm sorry but many people think they can have self control but end up blowing it.

I'm not trying to shame you and i'm not judging but if you are already clean and need to stay clean then just keep clean.

I know it isn't as easy as "stay clean" but most people don't do very well with the "ill only take it once a week" mentality. In the end it's obviously your choice whether you continue to use but i just felt i needed to say that.

As far as your brain "recovering" your tolerance will definitely be down pretty low but it will quickly reset back to where it was. We can't really advise you on how much or how often you can use, that is entirely up to you and how your body reacts to morphine.