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    This is for the lonely single people out there. 
    #1
    Do you ever feel like you have all this love bottled up inside but you have no one to apply it to? Almost like youve already fallen in love with someone except you've never met them and you have no idea who they are?

    I feel this and think about this every day.
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    #2
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    Yeah I’ve often thought about it. I’d imagine how perfect it would be to find this person. Maybe it’s you
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    #3
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    i worry that the feeling you describe is more about an ideal of 'love' than actual love. while i think there's something to the idea of a universal love - in the spiritual sense of feeling oneness, connectedness or whatever - i'm not sure it's possible to have romantic love 'ready to go' when you meet that special someone. that, for me, goes against the whole idea of love.

    but, i'll use this same post to tell myself that i couldn't be more wrong because, of course, i can't possibly begin to understand what love means to another person.

    alasdair
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    #4
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    doesn't it take time to know someone and you dont really love "them" until you know them warts and all
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    #5
    Bluelighter GaryGlisten's Avatar
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    OP, yes I have experienced this and know the feeling very well. Like you have all this love inside and a desperate need to give it to someone but there isn't actually anyone that you are in love with or can focus on to share it with. Have you taken MDMA recently? I found that this precipitated the feeling very strongly in the past.
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by StarOceanHouse View Post
    Yeah I’ve often thought about it. I’d imagine how perfect it would be to find this person. Maybe it’s you
    Haha maybe. That depends on what your sex is because I'm a heterosexual male.
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by alasdairm View Post
    i worry that the feeling you describe is more about an ideal of 'love' than actual love. while i think there's something to the idea of a universal love - in the spiritual sense of feeling oneness, connectedness or whatever - i'm not sure it's possible to have romantic love 'ready to go' when you meet that special someone. that, for me, goes against the whole idea of love.

    but, i'll use this same post to tell myself that i couldn't be more wrong because, of course, i can't possibly begin to understand what love means to another person.

    alasdair
    Ya you might be partly right. It could be that I'm just in love with the idea of love. And that I just have an extreme desire to be in love. But I think there's a little more to it than that. Idk. I'm sure every person and circumstance is different tho. I can only speak for myself. So does that mean you don't believe in "love at first sight"? I'm not quite sure how I feel about that. On one hand, you could think you're in love at first sight only to realize that you actually aren't once you get to know the person. And on the other hand, you could get to know them and just fall even deeper into love.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by pofacedhoe View Post
    doesn't it take time to know someone and you dont really love "them" until you know them warts and all
    I would say the answer is yes. But I don't think it's that black and white. It's a tricky question.

    Perception of a person can definitely change over time as you get to know them. Like maybe you have a bad perception of someone and it turns out that you're wrong and you end up falling in love. Or visa versa
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by GaryGlisten View Post
    OP, yes I have experienced this and know the feeling very well. Like you have all this love inside and a desperate need to give it to someone but there isn't actually anyone that you are in love with or can focus on to share it with. Have you taken MDMA recently? I found that this precipitated the feeling very strongly in the past.
    Yes. Exactly right. I deal with this every day. Usually work would be a good distraction. But pretty much the minute I clock out of work and get in my car to go home or whatever, I instantly feel super lonely and bored. And I feel like I have no idea what to do with myself. And that in turn makes me feel depressed. And all of this just makes me really unhappy with my life especially since it's on my mind all the time. It's literally consumed me. Part of me feels like I'll never truly be happy until I fall in love with someone(and it's reciprocated) but that's a fucked up thought. That I basically need someone to be happy. But as cheesy as it sounds, what's the point of life if you don't share and experience it with people that you love right?

    And na, the last time I took ecstasy was over a year ago at an EDM festival. But I know the feeling you're talking about. The first time I rolled was with an ex gf. It was my first serious relationship and it was relatively fresh and we were madly in love. And I remember rolling and just being infinitely more in love for hours. We were gaga for each other. All her friends decided to let us have the bedroom cause they expected us to have sex but we just ended up talking for hours instead haha. That is a very vivid memory for me. I don't think I ever felt that happy in my entire life tbh. But once we started coming down, it was not pretty. I started to sorta panic and started thinking that she didn't love me anymore and that I did something wrong cause she felt like shit lol. But It was just the drugs.
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    #10
    Bluelight Crew Asclepius's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by StarOceanHouse View Post
    Yeah I?ve often thought about it. I?d imagine how perfect it would be to find this person. Maybe it?s you
    Jesus. scraping with a rake.
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    #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by alasdairm View Post
    i worry that the feeling you describe is more about an ideal of 'love' than actual love. while i think there's something to the idea of a universal love - in the spiritual sense of feeling oneness, connectedness or whatever - i'm not sure it's possible to have romantic love 'ready to go' when you meet that special someone. that, for me, goes against the whole idea of love.

    but, i'll use this same post to tell myself that i couldn't be more wrong because, of course, i can't possibly begin to understand what love means to another person.

    alasdair
    This.


    To be honest you sound pretty clueless; in terms of dating.

    'Love bottled-up inside' denotes sexual frustration - so you are either touting for customers on here, or unbelievably green.

    What age are you?
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    #12
    Quote Originally Posted by bluerobot View Post
    But once we started coming down, it was not pretty. I started to sorta panic and started thinking that she didn't love me anymore and that I did something wrong cause she felt like shit lol. But It was just the drugs.
    Ugh. That head-space is just the worst place imaginable, it's so horrid that I gave up on amphetamines/MDMA a long time ago.

    Quote Originally Posted by bluerobot View Post
    But pretty much the minute I clock out of work and get in my car to go home or whatever, I instantly feel super lonely and bored. And I feel like I have no idea what to do with myself. And that in turn makes me feel depressed. And all of this just makes me really unhappy with my life especially since it's on my mind all the time. It's literally consumed me. Part of me feels like I'll never truly be happy until I fall in love with someone(and it's reciprocated) but that's a fucked up thought. That I basically need someone to be happy.
    Yeah this is the real issue here.. you need to create a focus/goal and work towards it.

    It's important to have an over-arching focus in life that supercedes everything else. I mean, lets assume you do meet someone and they show interest in you.. If you don't know what to do with yourself when your on your own.. your going to end up depending on them entirely to fill that emotional void. No one wants to have that kind of pressure put on them.. it will become a very unbalanced dynamic.
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    #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluerobot View Post
    Ya you might be partly right. It could be that I'm just in love with the idea of love.
    that's a good way of putting it.

    Quote Originally Posted by bluerobot View Post
    And that I just have an extreme desire to be in love.
    so you're more attached to just being in love. with anybody. doesn't matter who? to me that does sound unhealthy and not 'love'. ymmv.

    Quote Originally Posted by bluerobot View Post
    So does that mean you don't believe in "love at first sight"?
    i honestly don't know. i met somebody once. she was, simply put, the most beautiful woman i had ever seen. i asked her out. we dated for 4 years. i told her i wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. she didn't want to be with me and we broke up. it retrospect, at the time, i couldn't love her when we first met because i didn't know her at all. but it certainly felt overwhelming and different at first sight - moreso than anything else i have experienced...

    "(Would you believe in a love at first sight?)
    Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time
    "

    who knows? maybe ringo knows

    alasdair
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    #14
    Quote Originally Posted by malakaix View Post

    Yeah this is the real issue here.. you need to create a focus/goal and work towards it.

    It's important to have an over-arching focus in life that supercedes everything else. I mean, lets assume you do meet someone and they show interest in you.. If you don't know what to do with yourself when your on your own.. your going to end up depending on them entirely to fill that emotional void. No one wants to have that kind of pressure put on them.. it will become a very unbalanced dynamic.
    Yeah you're definitely right. I'm actually working on just that. I've been trying to pick up new hobbies lately. I really want to make music. I've never really been interested in traditional instruments tho except maybe piano. I really want to start making beats, and electronic music. So I'm saving up for a dj deck and maybe a synth. Plus I want to get a dirt bike and get my scuba diving licence. It's all just a matter of time and money. I recently got clean off opiates so I'm basically starting fresh as far as funds go. I think that's also why I've been feeling all these emotions like loneliness. When I was on opiates I was basically numb and emotionless so all these feeling are still very new to me haha.
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    #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Asclepius View Post
    This.


    To be honest you sound pretty clueless; in terms of dating.

    'Love bottled-up inside' denotes sexual frustration - so you are either touting for customers on here, or unbelievably green.

    What age are you?
    I'm assuming you're talking to me?

    I'll admit that I'm pretty out of practice as far as relationships go.
    But this has nothing to do with sex.
    All I'm saying is I have a very strong desire to love someone (and have it reciprocated) I'm not saying that if I meet someone and we like each other then I'll automatically fall in love with her without even knowing her. I'm just saying that I would really like to get to that point where I am in love and sometimes the feeling of wanting that so bad is very overwhelming and it feels lonely.

    The way I initially described it i.e "loved bottled up inside" is really besides the point.

    I'm 24 years old. And let's try to be respectful of other people's thoughts and opinions pls.
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    #16
    Quote Originally Posted by alasdairm View Post
    that's a good way of putting it.

    so you're more attached to just being in love. with anybody. doesn't matter who? to me that does sound unhealthy and not 'love'. ymmv.

    i honestly don't know. i met somebody once. she was, simply put, the most beautiful woman i had ever seen. i asked her out. we dated for 4 years. i told her i wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. she didn't want to be with me and we broke up. it retrospect, at the time, i couldn't love her when we first met because i didn't know her at all. but it certainly felt overwhelming and different at first sight - moreso than anything else i have experienced...

    "(Would you believe in a love at first sight?)
    Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time
    "

    who knows? maybe ringo knows

    alasdair
    No. It definitely matters who. I guess to clarify. I have an extreme desire to be in love with the right person. "the one"

    Something similar happened with me. I dated this girl for 3 years. She was also the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. But it wasn't always like that. I only felt that way once we were in love. She also had an extremely unique personality. A little crazy. But I love a little crazy. Actually when I look back on things now, I'm pretty sure she was either bi polar or had split personality.

    In the beginning I definitely was not in love. In fact I didn't take the relationship seriously at all. I definitely took her for granted. So one day, about 4-5 months in, I did something wrong which made her almost break up with me. And that's when I actually realized how in love I was and how much I cared about her because the thought of losing her was unfathomable. Once she forgave me, things took off from there.

    So do you think telling her that was a mistake? Like do you think it was the main reason for breaking up? Just curious.

    -Blue
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    #17
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    ^ i have absolutely no idea

    alasdair
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    #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluerobot View Post
    I'm assuming you're talking to me?
    Yep, my comment was directed at you, apologies for confusion.

    I'll admit that I'm pretty out of practice as far as relationships go.
    But this has nothing to do with sex.
    All I'm saying is I have a very strong desire to love someone (and have it reciprocated) I'm not saying that if I meet someone and we like each other then I'll automatically fall in love with her without even knowing her. I'm just saying that I would really like to get to that point where I am in love and sometimes the feeling of wanting that so bad is very overwhelming and it feels lonely.

    The way I initially described it i.e "loved bottled up inside" is really besides the point.

    I'm 24 years old. And let's try to be respectful of other people's thoughts and opinions pls.
    Sorry If I was being judgemental. I just dont understand how anyone can respond to such a subjective question - I dont think their is anything wrong with you, or what you're thinking/feeling but it doesnt seem like a question that can be answered by anyone else but yourself, and through your own experience.

    Here is a link to an article, that may be of some use, perhaps.
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    #19
    Quote Originally Posted by Asclepius View Post
    Yep, my comment was directed at you, apologies for confusion.



    Sorry If I was being judgemental. I just dont understand how anyone can respond to such a subjective question - I dont think their is anything wrong with you, or what you're thinking/feeling but it doesnt seem like a question that can be answered by anyone else but yourself, and through your own experience.

    Here is a link to an article, that may be of some use, perhaps.
    Okay okay. Dude. Your misunderstanding me. So i read that entire article. Which btw was the most subjective article I've ever read. And speaking of being subjective, this thread, which is my personal thread, was meant to be subjective because I'm personally going through it. In fact, I'm pretty sure Bluelight itself is entirely subjective. I mean it's basically just a place where everyone gives their opinions. So honestly, I don't know what you're talking about. And that article didn't say anything that I didn't know already. It was just full of the writers opinions and experiences. Super subjective. And he just said a bunch of obvious shit. And a lot of crap too. Like just cause Lennon did that stuff, doesn't make him a bad person. Everyone makes mistakes. And sure, there were a lot of great points in the article too but like I said it was all very obvious and nothing new to me. But complaining about my question being subjective, on a forum where everyone is subjective and then sending me a subjective article sound very hypocritical. And it seems more to me like you just want to argue and I really don't have the time or the energy for it.

    I've been in toxic relationships where even tho everything was going to shit, I was still madly in love so I'm completely aware that love isn't everything. but love is also rare. So if there's even a chance that you could fix the problems in the relationship then I could understand staying together.

    And you say that(and I quote) " it doesnt seem like a question that can be answered by anyone else but yourself, and through your own experience."
    But if you look at the original question. It's basically just a yes or no question. All I was asking is if anyone can relate to how I'm feeling.
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    #20
    Bluerobot-

    Instead of going home alone and being lonely, why not go where people are. You are interested in music so why not take a music class (where you'll meet other potential mates). Speaking from experience, love won't come knocking at your door; you have to put yourself out there. Are there any dance clubs in your area? Those are good places to meet people as other people go there to meet new people too. If you are shy, you have to make yourself go out. I am shy myself, but there was this one time when I worked up the nerve to go say hi to someone that I thought was way over my head in looks - and it was wonderful and life changing. When you see that OMG person in your life, I hope that you walk up and introduce yourself.
    I know I went beyond your basic question of yes or no. I hope you don't mind.
    Dale
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    #21
    Bluelighter traybuck's Avatar
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    Bluerobot Yes I totally know that feeling! I also have to say that I agree 100% with the poster above me
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    #22
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    I am married and live with my wife almost 8 years ago, I love her unconditionally and I want to be with her until the end of my life.
    Anyway, inside me there is still this irrefutable feeling of unrequited love, it is like a well that can not be filled, it is a love that no person can satisfy. This feeling pushes me to be creative and to be aware that life is finite and that I should enjoy it ... I think we have to somehow direct it towards ourselves, and we should not confuse it with the love we can offer to other people.
    When I was younger, this feeling destroyed my old relationships because I felt that what they offered me was never enough, I always wanted more and more and I was never satisfied.
    I understand that this void can't be satisfied through anyone, but somehow it can work like as an "elixir" for direct my life towards inner peace and to be aware of the potential that lives in me.


    DocLad
    Last edited by Doclad; 17-06-2018 at 06:37.
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    #23
    Bluelight Crew Asclepius's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluerobot View Post
    Okay okay. Dude. Your misunderstanding me. So i read that entire article. Which btw was the most subjective article I've ever read. And speaking of being subjective, this thread, which is my personal thread, was meant to be subjective because I'm personally going through it. In fact, I'm pretty sure Bluelight itself is entirely subjective. I mean it's basically just a place where everyone gives their opinions. So honestly, I don't know what you're talking about. And that article didn't say anything that I didn't know already. It was just full of the writers opinions and experiences. Super subjective. And he just said a bunch of obvious shit. And a lot of crap too. Like just cause Lennon did that stuff, doesn't make him a bad person. Everyone makes mistakes. And sure, there were a lot of great points in the article too but like I said it was all very obvious and nothing new to me. But complaining about my question being subjective, on a forum where everyone is subjective and then sending me a subjective article sound very hypocritical. And it seems more to me like you just want to argue and I really don't have the time or the energy for it.

    I've been in toxic relationships where even tho everything was going to shit, I was still madly in love so I'm completely aware that love isn't everything. but love is also rare. So if there's even a chance that you could fix the problems in the relationship then I could understand staying together.

    And you say that(and I quote) " it doesnt seem like a question that can be answered by anyone else but yourself, and through your own experience."
    But if you look at the original question. It's basically just a yes or no question. All I was asking is if anyone can relate to how I'm feeling.
    Just going to bother with a few points here.

    *You could have made a pole, if you were simply looking for a yes/no reply.

    *Secondly, this is not your personal thread - it is a thread you created asking others perspectives on a subject that is personal to you. It is on a forum that is open to others to share their comments, opinions, perspectives and experiences with equal weight. I suggest you go to 'Blogs' if you wish to navel-gaze, or write a personal Journal account.
    .
    *You are a 24 year old man who feels the same way as most people - get over yourself and go attempt to experience a relationship ( or more importantly, friendships) instead of theorizing about what you wish and looking for everyone to agree with you - unless you wish to achieve no courage, wisdom, or further experience.

    *You have an entire thread where people have responded to you - many relating to how you're feeling ( most people feel this way). Sounds to me like you just want your narcissism stroked.

    *IF you are/were 'in-love' with a toxic partner, you are in-love with the idea of being in-love (or an idealised idea of that partner/yourself, or both) otherwise, you would not stay in a situation that is toxic ( which is the antithesis of a loving relationship). Also, have been in this situation. Real mature love is pragmatic and sometimes romantic but mostly, not that painfully dramatic ( hence why I posted the article you mostly, dismissed).

    *Also, John lennon was an abusive, woman-beating narcissistic, hypocritcal twat with a god-complex - who hid behind a false persona and fame. Imho that does, absolutely, indicate a 'bad' , cruel character.
    Last edited by Asclepius; 19-06-2018 at 00:07.
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    #24
    Bluelighter traybuck's Avatar
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    Yeah as a social forum if you don't like someone's comment just ignore it... Simple as that. This world is HUGE so obviously there's going to be tons of people that just don't get how you feel! The best thing to do is just let em fly by Imho! Plus some people get way to pissed if you tell them they "Don't get it"
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