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This is for the lonely single people out there.

bluerobot

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 27, 2018
Messages
74
Do you ever feel like you have all this love bottled up inside but you have no one to apply it to? Almost like youve already fallen in love with someone except you've never met them and you have no idea who they are?

I feel this and think about this every day.
 
Yeah I’ve often thought about it. I’d imagine how perfect it would be to find this person. Maybe it’s you ;)
 
i worry that the feeling you describe is more about an ideal of 'love' than actual love. while i think there's something to the idea of a universal love - in the spiritual sense of feeling oneness, connectedness or whatever - i'm not sure it's possible to have romantic love 'ready to go' when you meet that special someone. that, for me, goes against the whole idea of love.

but, i'll use this same post to tell myself that i couldn't be more wrong because, of course, i can't possibly begin to understand what love means to another person.

alasdair
 
doesn't it take time to know someone and you dont really love "them" until you know them warts and all
 
OP, yes I have experienced this and know the feeling very well. Like you have all this love inside and a desperate need to give it to someone but there isn't actually anyone that you are in love with or can focus on to share it with. Have you taken MDMA recently? I found that this precipitated the feeling very strongly in the past.
 
i worry that the feeling you describe is more about an ideal of 'love' than actual love. while i think there's something to the idea of a universal love - in the spiritual sense of feeling oneness, connectedness or whatever - i'm not sure it's possible to have romantic love 'ready to go' when you meet that special someone. that, for me, goes against the whole idea of love.

but, i'll use this same post to tell myself that i couldn't be more wrong because, of course, i can't possibly begin to understand what love means to another person.

alasdair

Ya you might be partly right. It could be that I'm just in love with the idea of love. And that I just have an extreme desire to be in love. But I think there's a little more to it than that. Idk. I'm sure every person and circumstance is different tho. I can only speak for myself. So does that mean you don't believe in "love at first sight"? I'm not quite sure how I feel about that. On one hand, you could think you're in love at first sight only to realize that you actually aren't once you get to know the person. And on the other hand, you could get to know them and just fall even deeper into love.
 
doesn't it take time to know someone and you dont really love "them" until you know them warts and all

I would say the answer is yes. But I don't think it's that black and white. It's a tricky question.

Perception of a person can definitely change over time as you get to know them. Like maybe you have a bad perception of someone and it turns out that you're wrong and you end up falling in love. Or visa versa
 
OP, yes I have experienced this and know the feeling very well. Like you have all this love inside and a desperate need to give it to someone but there isn't actually anyone that you are in love with or can focus on to share it with. Have you taken MDMA recently? I found that this precipitated the feeling very strongly in the past.

Yes. Exactly right. I deal with this every day. Usually work would be a good distraction. But pretty much the minute I clock out of work and get in my car to go home or whatever, I instantly feel super lonely and bored. And I feel like I have no idea what to do with myself. And that in turn makes me feel depressed. And all of this just makes me really unhappy with my life especially since it's on my mind all the time. It's literally consumed me. Part of me feels like I'll never truly be happy until I fall in love with someone(and it's reciprocated) but that's a fucked up thought. That I basically need someone to be happy. But as cheesy as it sounds, what's the point of life if you don't share and experience it with people that you love right?

And na, the last time I took ecstasy was over a year ago at an EDM festival. But I know the feeling you're talking about. The first time I rolled was with an ex gf. It was my first serious relationship and it was relatively fresh and we were madly in love. And I remember rolling and just being infinitely more in love for hours. We were gaga for each other. All her friends decided to let us have the bedroom cause they expected us to have sex but we just ended up talking for hours instead haha. That is a very vivid memory for me. I don't think I ever felt that happy in my entire life tbh. But once we started coming down, it was not pretty. I started to sorta panic and started thinking that she didn't love me anymore and that I did something wrong cause she felt like shit lol. But It was just the drugs.
 
i worry that the feeling you describe is more about an ideal of 'love' than actual love. while i think there's something to the idea of a universal love - in the spiritual sense of feeling oneness, connectedness or whatever - i'm not sure it's possible to have romantic love 'ready to go' when you meet that special someone. that, for me, goes against the whole idea of love.

but, i'll use this same post to tell myself that i couldn't be more wrong because, of course, i can't possibly begin to understand what love means to another person.

alasdair

This.


To be honest you sound pretty clueless; in terms of dating.

'Love bottled-up inside' denotes sexual frustration - so you are either touting for customers on here, or unbelievably green.

What age are you?
 
But once we started coming down, it was not pretty. I started to sorta panic and started thinking that she didn't love me anymore and that I did something wrong cause she felt like shit lol. But It was just the drugs.

Ugh. That head-space is just the worst place imaginable, it's so horrid that I gave up on amphetamines/MDMA a long time ago.

But pretty much the minute I clock out of work and get in my car to go home or whatever, I instantly feel super lonely and bored. And I feel like I have no idea what to do with myself. And that in turn makes me feel depressed. And all of this just makes me really unhappy with my life especially since it's on my mind all the time. It's literally consumed me. Part of me feels like I'll never truly be happy until I fall in love with someone(and it's reciprocated) but that's a fucked up thought. That I basically need someone to be happy.

Yeah this is the real issue here.. you need to create a focus/goal and work towards it.

It's important to have an over-arching focus in life that supercedes everything else. I mean, lets assume you do meet someone and they show interest in you.. If you don't know what to do with yourself when your on your own.. your going to end up depending on them entirely to fill that emotional void. No one wants to have that kind of pressure put on them.. it will become a very unbalanced dynamic.
 
Ya you might be partly right. It could be that I'm just in love with the idea of love.
that's a good way of putting it.

And that I just have an extreme desire to be in love.
so you're more attached to just being in love. with anybody. doesn't matter who? to me that does sound unhealthy and not 'love'. ymmv.

So does that mean you don't believe in "love at first sight"?
i honestly don't know. i met somebody once. she was, simply put, the most beautiful woman i had ever seen. i asked her out. we dated for 4 years. i told her i wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. she didn't want to be with me and we broke up. it retrospect, at the time, i couldn't love her when we first met because i didn't know her at all. but it certainly felt overwhelming and different at first sight - moreso than anything else i have experienced...

"(Would you believe in a love at first sight?)
Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time
"

who knows? maybe ringo knows :)

alasdair
 
Yeah this is the real issue here.. you need to create a focus/goal and work towards it.

It's important to have an over-arching focus in life that supercedes everything else. I mean, lets assume you do meet someone and they show interest in you.. If you don't know what to do with yourself when your on your own.. your going to end up depending on them entirely to fill that emotional void. No one wants to have that kind of pressure put on them.. it will become a very unbalanced dynamic.

Yeah you're definitely right. I'm actually working on just that. I've been trying to pick up new hobbies lately. I really want to make music. I've never really been interested in traditional instruments tho except maybe piano. I really want to start making beats, and electronic music. So I'm saving up for a dj deck and maybe a synth. Plus I want to get a dirt bike and get my scuba diving licence. It's all just a matter of time and money. I recently got clean off opiates so I'm basically starting fresh as far as funds go. I think that's also why I've been feeling all these emotions like loneliness. When I was on opiates I was basically numb and emotionless so all these feeling are still very new to me haha.
 
This.


To be honest you sound pretty clueless; in terms of dating.

'Love bottled-up inside' denotes sexual frustration - so you are either touting for customers on here, or unbelievably green.

What age are you?

I'm assuming you're talking to me?

I'll admit that I'm pretty out of practice as far as relationships go.
But this has nothing to do with sex.
All I'm saying is I have a very strong desire to love someone (and have it reciprocated) I'm not saying that if I meet someone and we like each other then I'll automatically fall in love with her without even knowing her. I'm just saying that I would really like to get to that point where I am in love and sometimes the feeling of wanting that so bad is very overwhelming and it feels lonely.

The way I initially described it i.e "loved bottled up inside" is really besides the point.

I'm 24 years old. And let's try to be respectful of other people's thoughts and opinions pls.
 
that's a good way of putting it.

so you're more attached to just being in love. with anybody. doesn't matter who? to me that does sound unhealthy and not 'love'. ymmv.

i honestly don't know. i met somebody once. she was, simply put, the most beautiful woman i had ever seen. i asked her out. we dated for 4 years. i told her i wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. she didn't want to be with me and we broke up. it retrospect, at the time, i couldn't love her when we first met because i didn't know her at all. but it certainly felt overwhelming and different at first sight - moreso than anything else i have experienced...

"(Would you believe in a love at first sight?)
Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time
"

who knows? maybe ringo knows :)

alasdair

No. It definitely matters who. I guess to clarify. I have an extreme desire to be in love with the right person. "the one"

Something similar happened with me. I dated this girl for 3 years. She was also the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. But it wasn't always like that. I only felt that way once we were in love. She also had an extremely unique personality. A little crazy. But I love a little crazy. Actually when I look back on things now, I'm pretty sure she was either bi polar or had split personality.

In the beginning I definitely was not in love. In fact I didn't take the relationship seriously at all. I definitely took her for granted. So one day, about 4-5 months in, I did something wrong which made her almost break up with me. And that's when I actually realized how in love I was and how much I cared about her because the thought of losing her was unfathomable. Once she forgave me, things took off from there.

So do you think telling her that was a mistake? Like do you think it was the main reason for breaking up? Just curious.

-Blue
 
I'm assuming you're talking to me?
Yep, my comment was directed at you, apologies for confusion.

I'll admit that I'm pretty out of practice as far as relationships go.
But this has nothing to do with sex.
All I'm saying is I have a very strong desire to love someone (and have it reciprocated) I'm not saying that if I meet someone and we like each other then I'll automatically fall in love with her without even knowing her. I'm just saying that I would really like to get to that point where I am in love and sometimes the feeling of wanting that so bad is very overwhelming and it feels lonely.

The way I initially described it i.e "loved bottled up inside" is really besides the point.

I'm 24 years old. And let's try to be respectful of other people's thoughts and opinions pls.

Sorry If I was being judgemental. I just dont understand how anyone can respond to such a subjective question - I dont think their is anything wrong with you, or what you're thinking/feeling but it doesnt seem like a question that can be answered by anyone else but yourself, and through your own experience.

Here is a link to an article, that may be of some use, perhaps.
 
Yep, my comment was directed at you, apologies for confusion.



Sorry If I was being judgemental. I just dont understand how anyone can respond to such a subjective question - I dont think their is anything wrong with you, or what you're thinking/feeling but it doesnt seem like a question that can be answered by anyone else but yourself, and through your own experience.

Here is a link to an article, that may be of some use, perhaps.

Okay okay. Dude. Your misunderstanding me. So i read that entire article. Which btw was the most subjective article I've ever read. And speaking of being subjective, this thread, which is my personal thread, was meant to be subjective because I'm personally going through it. In fact, I'm pretty sure Bluelight itself is entirely subjective. I mean it's basically just a place where everyone gives their opinions. So honestly, I don't know what you're talking about. And that article didn't say anything that I didn't know already. It was just full of the writers opinions and experiences. Super subjective. And he just said a bunch of obvious shit. And a lot of crap too. Like just cause Lennon did that stuff, doesn't make him a bad person. Everyone makes mistakes. And sure, there were a lot of great points in the article too but like I said it was all very obvious and nothing new to me. But complaining about my question being subjective, on a forum where everyone is subjective and then sending me a subjective article sound very hypocritical. And it seems more to me like you just want to argue and I really don't have the time or the energy for it.

I've been in toxic relationships where even tho everything was going to shit, I was still madly in love so I'm completely aware that love isn't everything. but love is also rare. So if there's even a chance that you could fix the problems in the relationship then I could understand staying together.

And you say that(and I quote) " it doesnt seem like a question that can be answered by anyone else but yourself, and through your own experience."
But if you look at the original question. It's basically just a yes or no question. All I was asking is if anyone can relate to how I'm feeling.
 
Bluerobot-

Instead of going home alone and being lonely, why not go where people are. You are interested in music so why not take a music class (where you'll meet other potential mates). Speaking from experience, love won't come knocking at your door; you have to put yourself out there. Are there any dance clubs in your area? Those are good places to meet people as other people go there to meet new people too. If you are shy, you have to make yourself go out. I am shy myself, but there was this one time when I worked up the nerve to go say hi to someone that I thought was way over my head in looks - and it was wonderful and life changing. When you see that OMG person in your life, I hope that you walk up and introduce yourself.
I know I went beyond your basic question of yes or no. I hope you don't mind.
Dale
 
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