Theheadhill
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2018
- Messages
- 1
So, I don?t really know what to make of my first DMT experience. I had done a TON of research on it before I actually got my hands on it, I watched documentaries, watched YouTube experiences, read up on it, etc, which is what peaked my interest in the first place.
I was terrified to try it at first because I have terrible anxiety in my waking sober life, so I could only imagine myself seeing something that I knew should have been physically impossible to see during a trip, then actually dying of a heart attack ?.
Well anyway, I buckled down and bought 100 mg?s of the root bark from online (YouTubed how to extract it once i was ready), waited two weeks before I touched it, then drove an hour away to my best friends house, so that I could trip with someone else and not be alone.
I had never done any psychedelics before, but My main reasoning for trying it was for the life changing, spiritual experience that I had read so many people having on it. People who claimed to have met God and other spirit guides, and having all the answers to life answered, etc. I wanted so bad to have a breakthrough monumental experience that made life make sense, but while mine was certainly visually amazing, the realization of it was less than stellar.
My best friend and i were foolish enough to believe that if we both did it at the same time and laid down and held hands, that we would go on this trip to the unknown together ?, so he called over a third friend to be our sitter, and, out came the crack pipe!
First hit - nothing but a nasty taste and need to cough. Held the smoke for as long as I could, then when I exhaled I noticed that my body started to feel a bit... heavy. I was shocked at how instant it was.
Second hit - my anxiety kind of kicked in because I realized what was happening, but also realized I wasn?t ready for it. Also, I heard a very high pitched hum, that made me feel like my tinnitus has gotten Worse because of the dmt.
I looked at my best friend and told him I didn?t want to take another hit, and that my anxiety was already too high and I didn?t want to die, but my best friend is fearless and manipulative, and some how manipulated me into doing it after a literal 5 second talk, though I don?t remember how.
Third hit - all I can remember thinking is ?oh shit I?m dying?, as an array of colors and space morphs engulfed my vision. The room seemed to be breathing. My best friend gripped my hand and fell back on the bed next to me, I thought for sure he was dying too. Our sitter completely transformed into a skeleton like thing, that still had hair and meat on its bones (if that makes any sense at all). That was when keeping my eyes open became too much. My eye lids were made of bricks, I closed them, and without further ado, was shot out of my body and into a tunnel of bright unexplainable colors that kept transforming into other unexplainable colors.
While turning in this tunnel of unexplainable colors, i lost track of who i was, my life, what i was doing, that i had even taken DMT in the first place. My thoughts were starting to distort, sounding more like ?who... am... but i can?t be... tunnel... colors... dying... dying... I?m dying? I was certain that i was dying, and those are the last words I can remember thinking. Once out of the tunnel, i was shot into pure darkness. Darkness like you?ve never seen before. There was nothing. I was dead.
But then, I noticed a wide chain, bigger than anything I?d ever seen before in my life. If my human body stood on top of this giant chain, It would probably be like stepping onto another earth. The chain was circling around and around again within itself, almost looking as if a snake were in a pit of other snakes and their bodies were all tangled (is how i can describe the visual the best). I realized that i was apart of this chain, and that i was watching myself, watching myself, while watching myself (really weird, I know).
I had no recollection of my life before this moment, none at all, so it seemed normal, until I felt communication behind me. (When I say FELT communication, I mean there was no actual voice or telepathy, but rather just intuition of something speaking? Maybe talking through signals? Idk, but I knew something else was talking to me, even though there was no sound.)
?Brilliant isn?t it?? i remember it saying before I actually turned to face it. She was familiar, strong both physically and mentally, and quite possibly the most beautiful woman I?d ever seen in my existence. I knew her, knew all about her, her name, her existence, etc, I don?t remember much about what we talked about, but I just remember feeling like I had known her forever. At one point I even remember her telling me that she was glad she didn?t have to ?come back to this side again?.
At another point during the trip, she asked me if I wanted to see something, to which I agreed. Then the floor beneath us turned clear and I fell through it into life. But not my own life. I fell through into the entire existence of life and got to experience first hand how it came to be.
I saw Adam and Eve (who looked VERY different compared to how we look now), saw the great flood, saw ancient Egypt, saw the Roman Empire, the ming dynasty, the Victorian era, the renaissance, world war 1 and 2, the titanic sink, Hollywood?s golden era, plus countless other periods of time that I didn?t even know existed or had only heard a bit about. And I actually got to LIVE through them, but I did it within the blink of an eye, which made me aware of how there was no time there, and that time was all happening at once and not at all, which Is how I was able to experience it all so thoroughly yet so quickly. Then, once I got to 1990 (when the seed of my own consciousness was put into my mother?s stomach) she fished me out and asked me what I thought about it. I felt saddened almost immediately, because I was beginning to remember my own life and how I had to go back to it soon. I remember the feeling that time is almost running out, and we didn?t have much more time to spend with each other. But she just kept asking with urgency what I thought about everything I had just seen. I finally answered and told her it was beautiful. She laughed and then said ?good, because none of it?s real. You made it all up. All history and time was made up by your own mind. You invented it.?
?So I?m god?? Confusion started to set in more and more, I?m assuming because I was returning to my normal construct of mind.
?No, you?d be foolish to think that.? She was starting to talk faster and faster, I?m assuming to hurry and get out as much as she could before time was over. I don?t remember the last bit of what she was telling me in great detail, I just remember she started explaining how everything is fake, including and ESPECIALLY that dmt place that everyone thinks is so real. She kept comparing it to a Dream, ?you don?t remember your waking life when you?re asleep, you forget that your dream isn?t the real thing. It?s the same here, I?m not real, neither is any of this. Don?t look for the answers to life and death in any drug or on your planet at all, because you won?t find that knowledge there, because it doesnt exist there. It?s a lie, it?s all a lie! The real meaning is so much bigger than just a dmt trip. It may bring awareness to self, but it won?t bring answers or truth, ever.?
?How do you know all of this?? I remember asking, just as I could start to hear real life again.
Then, without another word, she turned into my human life form on this planet and said ?because I?ve lived it before.? I knew in that instant that she had been me all along, it was all me, even Adam and Eve. I was living as two people subjectively then, just like how I?m living as millions of people subjectively now.
The next thing I knew, i was awoke. My best friend was next to me raving about having met God and his spirit guide, but, I knew it wasn?t real. It was just a life like lucid dream. It?s crazy because I experienced this place and all of life first hand, but I still believe whole heartedly that it was just a trip, like other psychedelics. sorry it?s so long, but has anyone else experienced this or something like it?
I was terrified to try it at first because I have terrible anxiety in my waking sober life, so I could only imagine myself seeing something that I knew should have been physically impossible to see during a trip, then actually dying of a heart attack ?.
Well anyway, I buckled down and bought 100 mg?s of the root bark from online (YouTubed how to extract it once i was ready), waited two weeks before I touched it, then drove an hour away to my best friends house, so that I could trip with someone else and not be alone.
I had never done any psychedelics before, but My main reasoning for trying it was for the life changing, spiritual experience that I had read so many people having on it. People who claimed to have met God and other spirit guides, and having all the answers to life answered, etc. I wanted so bad to have a breakthrough monumental experience that made life make sense, but while mine was certainly visually amazing, the realization of it was less than stellar.
My best friend and i were foolish enough to believe that if we both did it at the same time and laid down and held hands, that we would go on this trip to the unknown together ?, so he called over a third friend to be our sitter, and, out came the crack pipe!
First hit - nothing but a nasty taste and need to cough. Held the smoke for as long as I could, then when I exhaled I noticed that my body started to feel a bit... heavy. I was shocked at how instant it was.
Second hit - my anxiety kind of kicked in because I realized what was happening, but also realized I wasn?t ready for it. Also, I heard a very high pitched hum, that made me feel like my tinnitus has gotten Worse because of the dmt.
I looked at my best friend and told him I didn?t want to take another hit, and that my anxiety was already too high and I didn?t want to die, but my best friend is fearless and manipulative, and some how manipulated me into doing it after a literal 5 second talk, though I don?t remember how.
Third hit - all I can remember thinking is ?oh shit I?m dying?, as an array of colors and space morphs engulfed my vision. The room seemed to be breathing. My best friend gripped my hand and fell back on the bed next to me, I thought for sure he was dying too. Our sitter completely transformed into a skeleton like thing, that still had hair and meat on its bones (if that makes any sense at all). That was when keeping my eyes open became too much. My eye lids were made of bricks, I closed them, and without further ado, was shot out of my body and into a tunnel of bright unexplainable colors that kept transforming into other unexplainable colors.
While turning in this tunnel of unexplainable colors, i lost track of who i was, my life, what i was doing, that i had even taken DMT in the first place. My thoughts were starting to distort, sounding more like ?who... am... but i can?t be... tunnel... colors... dying... dying... I?m dying? I was certain that i was dying, and those are the last words I can remember thinking. Once out of the tunnel, i was shot into pure darkness. Darkness like you?ve never seen before. There was nothing. I was dead.
But then, I noticed a wide chain, bigger than anything I?d ever seen before in my life. If my human body stood on top of this giant chain, It would probably be like stepping onto another earth. The chain was circling around and around again within itself, almost looking as if a snake were in a pit of other snakes and their bodies were all tangled (is how i can describe the visual the best). I realized that i was apart of this chain, and that i was watching myself, watching myself, while watching myself (really weird, I know).
I had no recollection of my life before this moment, none at all, so it seemed normal, until I felt communication behind me. (When I say FELT communication, I mean there was no actual voice or telepathy, but rather just intuition of something speaking? Maybe talking through signals? Idk, but I knew something else was talking to me, even though there was no sound.)
?Brilliant isn?t it?? i remember it saying before I actually turned to face it. She was familiar, strong both physically and mentally, and quite possibly the most beautiful woman I?d ever seen in my existence. I knew her, knew all about her, her name, her existence, etc, I don?t remember much about what we talked about, but I just remember feeling like I had known her forever. At one point I even remember her telling me that she was glad she didn?t have to ?come back to this side again?.
At another point during the trip, she asked me if I wanted to see something, to which I agreed. Then the floor beneath us turned clear and I fell through it into life. But not my own life. I fell through into the entire existence of life and got to experience first hand how it came to be.
I saw Adam and Eve (who looked VERY different compared to how we look now), saw the great flood, saw ancient Egypt, saw the Roman Empire, the ming dynasty, the Victorian era, the renaissance, world war 1 and 2, the titanic sink, Hollywood?s golden era, plus countless other periods of time that I didn?t even know existed or had only heard a bit about. And I actually got to LIVE through them, but I did it within the blink of an eye, which made me aware of how there was no time there, and that time was all happening at once and not at all, which Is how I was able to experience it all so thoroughly yet so quickly. Then, once I got to 1990 (when the seed of my own consciousness was put into my mother?s stomach) she fished me out and asked me what I thought about it. I felt saddened almost immediately, because I was beginning to remember my own life and how I had to go back to it soon. I remember the feeling that time is almost running out, and we didn?t have much more time to spend with each other. But she just kept asking with urgency what I thought about everything I had just seen. I finally answered and told her it was beautiful. She laughed and then said ?good, because none of it?s real. You made it all up. All history and time was made up by your own mind. You invented it.?
?So I?m god?? Confusion started to set in more and more, I?m assuming because I was returning to my normal construct of mind.
?No, you?d be foolish to think that.? She was starting to talk faster and faster, I?m assuming to hurry and get out as much as she could before time was over. I don?t remember the last bit of what she was telling me in great detail, I just remember she started explaining how everything is fake, including and ESPECIALLY that dmt place that everyone thinks is so real. She kept comparing it to a Dream, ?you don?t remember your waking life when you?re asleep, you forget that your dream isn?t the real thing. It?s the same here, I?m not real, neither is any of this. Don?t look for the answers to life and death in any drug or on your planet at all, because you won?t find that knowledge there, because it doesnt exist there. It?s a lie, it?s all a lie! The real meaning is so much bigger than just a dmt trip. It may bring awareness to self, but it won?t bring answers or truth, ever.?
?How do you know all of this?? I remember asking, just as I could start to hear real life again.
Then, without another word, she turned into my human life form on this planet and said ?because I?ve lived it before.? I knew in that instant that she had been me all along, it was all me, even Adam and Eve. I was living as two people subjectively then, just like how I?m living as millions of people subjectively now.
The next thing I knew, i was awoke. My best friend was next to me raving about having met God and his spirit guide, but, I knew it wasn?t real. It was just a life like lucid dream. It?s crazy because I experienced this place and all of life first hand, but I still believe whole heartedly that it was just a trip, like other psychedelics. sorry it?s so long, but has anyone else experienced this or something like it?
the insights from smoking it are usually grander, morr cosmic, and harder to integrate. I happy you broke through on your first try!