Sometimes i can feel n other times...

[ThatAmazinChick]

Okay... so been on shit/meth for like fuck.. i dont know... the last four or five years of my life... i am not as kneedeep as i used to be.. by far! But it seems like ss of late when i get fucked up(n i am only a smoker..) i feel emotionless, numb as fuck... like my cousin who was only 17 got gunned down a couple nights ago, and i was close to the kid... and i still havent cried yet, i teared up once thinking bout him... but am i fucking that fucked up n broken from just being a fucked up human in general n gotten worse or does shit depending on what it is cut with, make people numb? Idk. I feel like i am a horrific person for not cryin... yet... i assume yet.... like he isnt the first close person/friend that has passed this year, and so far i have cried for the others... or am i just becomin 'Used' to close people dying on me... fuck this post probably sounds so fucked up in general... please dont judge me.... eff.....and i am typically a person well in touch with my emotions n feelins... not like overly sensitive just i dont like fucking being numb n heartless...

 

[Kaldius]

It's the drug that is keeping you away from your emotions, amphetamines and methamphetamine especially has a powerful numbing effect on emotion I guess that's why its so good at getting away from reality with it. It doesn't make you a bad person or mean you didn't care for the boy, the right emotions will come naturally when you come off the drugs a bit in due time try not to stress over it.