I would definitely follow the above concern of seizures and other serious health risks associated with benzo w/d. That being said, I think you would be best off not to risk taking no benzos in your situation and just 'riding it out'. I would take a smaller amount like .5mg of your val and see how you feel. I can completely understand how crappy it must be to have been making progress in your taper and then feel like you've taken a big step backwards. But I would say if you've been able to be successful that far I know you can get back on track. Your health and safety is paramount above the 'success' of a taper. Pace yourself, be aware of how you feel and increase the amount of val as necessary. It sure sounds like you are a meticulous and intelligent individual, just be aware. I wish you the best of luck. Benzos are a real tough one to kick. You CAN do it though.
Thank you for your response and your compliments. I am sorry for the very slow response, I was very busy the last few weeks. It wouldn't be fair to let the topic die without a proper response and an update so here it is.
I was, and still am going through a rough time. I was going to marry and live with my girlfriend within a few weeks. Unfortunately, she f*cked me over big time and told me many lies. I found out about it just days before moving in together and confronted her with it. Her response was to end the relationship immediately and cut off all contact without giving me any kind of explanation. We were so close and so in love... How she was able to do that remains a mystery to me and it still hurts me very much. On top of that, I also lost my job just a week later. My whole future was ruined in the course of just a few weeks and the whole situation shook me to the core. I was on the brink of a mental breakdow and I was going through major grief and anxiety / panic attacks. I was also diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder and dysthymia years ago. Benzos temporarily "fix" all of that and make me feel good and be productive for a few hours. That all contributed to my most recent and longest c-lam binge.
I definitely didn't plan on stopping all benzo usage after my c-lam binge, I will finish my valium taper. I tried to cold turkey valium once just because I wanted to get rid of all benzo usage / addiction as fast as possible but the withdrawals kicked in the second day and were awful. So I quicly started taking it again. I know that this is a complete contradiction to my recent c-lam binge, but a lot of people here know the strong mental pull / psychological addiction towards benzos. Especially if you have an anxiety disorder. My valium dosage didn't cut it anymore because of tolerance / addiction, so I took c-lam on top of my valium dose "just once in a while". However, just like all addictions, I began taking it more and more often to the point of binging for days straight. I didn't feel any withdrawal from previous smaller binges so I saw that as a justification to begin using it more often and for longer periods of time. After my most recent binge I realized that it had to end badly soon, and I was afraid that this binge would f*ck me up and give me withdrawals.
However, I was very lucky to experience only very mild withdrawal. I took 20mg valium that day and it took away most of the withdrawal. However, going back to 8mg the next day didn't cut it anymore so I took 15mg. After that, I settled at 13mg valium a day and I'm still taking that. The withdrawal symptoms, that were only very mild anyway, went away after 3 days. I also took some more phenibut and kratom than my standard dose during those 3 days and that was more than enough to make me feel good. I'm doing okay now, except from one panic attack almost a week ago. I took 0.5mg c-lam twice a few hours apart to end the panic attack. That is the only time I used c-lam after my binge. As for the valium, I'm going to try to go to 10mg a day by the end of the week. After that I'm going to stick to my doctors tapering schedule. That also means no more valium left over every week so I dont have anything to "rescue" me if I binge on c-lam again. I take that as extra motivation to not use c-lam anymore for the time being. I have about 500 c-lam pellets but I put them somewhere hard to reach, except for 2 pellets that I carry around with me everywhere to get me out of a bad panic attack if I get one. I need to drive for almost an hour to get the rest so that's enough to not give in to the impulse to binge on it again.
