d3athadone
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2015
- Messages
- 265
So about half a year ago I met this girl. We were friends for a long time and then we fell in love. It was a great surprise. Everything has been amazing. So much beautiful times and so much good communication. I've never been able to be myself so much with someone im intimate with. Things moved slow with her. Like really slow. Sexually... I mean not after we first kissed and whatever that was all extremely passionate and everything felt normal. Finally one day we had sex on the perfect night right after we went through some shit in life together. It felt amazing. The next day she said it was "bringing shit up." Eventually I find out that she thinks she was molested by her father but she cant remember. She says she is just finding this out. I'm the only person she told. This girl trusts me so much. I have been extremely good to her. I'm a really good man, and shes a good woman. Shes just a little broken right now.
So everytime we have sex she feels guilty after and she cant speak nicely about the sex we had, even though during having sex its amazing and she is fully present with me. Those were her words. Also I even checked like 10x during sex to make sure she is still with me and she is so its not bad during the time at all. In fact its actually amazing. She doesn't even get what a natural fox she is sexually. Cuz here is the other thing. She only came for the first time when she was like 30. She is 36. Only once has a man made her cum once in bed. B4 u judge, the plot thickens. She is a squirter. She is embarassed to squirt infront of me or whatever obviously that cant be easy ontop of the fact that she is already feeling shame and guilt from sexual abuse. So basically I just bring her to the point where she is begging me to stop for realzies because she is going to cum. So here is the dumbest fucking part of this whole thing. She is highly orgasmic. Its so fucking easy to make her cum. None of this fucking retard race of males could make this beautiful orgasmic girl cum? What a bunch of fucking idiots. Thats just pathetic. So that obviously is playing a part in all of this. We have only had sex 3x.
I braught her to a trauma therapist the other day. She was having trouble finding help and I knew where to go. So basically I think she needs a lot of therapy. She is such a good girl. We can talk about anything. We had a talk the other day where we decided it was probably best if we just stopped having sex until she figures out her shit, and she flat out told me thats its cool if I go have sex with other girls. She says she trusts what we have is bigger than that. Cool chick right? The thing is, I'd much rather just have a healthy sex life with her right now. THats not going to happen tho. I'm so confused. I'm at this point where I was supposed to be going and being a big slut. That was my plan b4 we got together. She knows it too thats why shes ssaying its cool for me to go be a big slut.
So now she is in this weird grey zone where she isnt quite my girlfriend in the sense that she isnt sleeping over and fucking my brains out, but instead she comes over, gets naked with me, and showers with me until there is no hot water or sometihng like that. You know its like we are even more intimate than other couples who fuck are. We are creative. We also just do shit together all the time. She is a great friend. & she is a great lover. Its weird as fuck. I'm sad right now tho because Its really hitting me just how long it takes to heal. Like healing from sexual abuse is a big fucking deal. I can't break it off with her eiither. For 1, its a terrible tiem for a break up, both of us have to move in the next 2 months and like she is going through a lot, withdrawl of our lovins would fuckin decimate us at the moment. Both of us want to keep seeing eachother. I love this girl. I care about this girl so much. I want to see her good. I want to see her in touch with her sexuality in a healthy way. I want her to fuck my brains out for hours on end and love every moment of it.
So ya I don't know what the fak to do. I wasn't trying to get involved in sometihng like this. I was trying to be with a more stable girl this time lol. I didn't know about any of this. She didn't even know about any of this. Now I am in fucking love with this girl and she isnt gonna be able to give me the lovins I need!!! I need to be fucked. I need to have my girl crashing next to me. Instead I got this girl around me and all my love energy is in her and no matter how much we say I can go fuck other girls, if she is here like every couple days, how am i gonna get my needs met from another girl?? I'm not. Its gonna be wack. & yet I don't want to break it off. I really want this girl in my life so freaking badly. She feels the same. What kind of sick joke is this neway. This is some forbidin love shit from the movies. Fuck this sux.
Please help
So everytime we have sex she feels guilty after and she cant speak nicely about the sex we had, even though during having sex its amazing and she is fully present with me. Those were her words. Also I even checked like 10x during sex to make sure she is still with me and she is so its not bad during the time at all. In fact its actually amazing. She doesn't even get what a natural fox she is sexually. Cuz here is the other thing. She only came for the first time when she was like 30. She is 36. Only once has a man made her cum once in bed. B4 u judge, the plot thickens. She is a squirter. She is embarassed to squirt infront of me or whatever obviously that cant be easy ontop of the fact that she is already feeling shame and guilt from sexual abuse. So basically I just bring her to the point where she is begging me to stop for realzies because she is going to cum. So here is the dumbest fucking part of this whole thing. She is highly orgasmic. Its so fucking easy to make her cum. None of this fucking retard race of males could make this beautiful orgasmic girl cum? What a bunch of fucking idiots. Thats just pathetic. So that obviously is playing a part in all of this. We have only had sex 3x.
I braught her to a trauma therapist the other day. She was having trouble finding help and I knew where to go. So basically I think she needs a lot of therapy. She is such a good girl. We can talk about anything. We had a talk the other day where we decided it was probably best if we just stopped having sex until she figures out her shit, and she flat out told me thats its cool if I go have sex with other girls. She says she trusts what we have is bigger than that. Cool chick right? The thing is, I'd much rather just have a healthy sex life with her right now. THats not going to happen tho. I'm so confused. I'm at this point where I was supposed to be going and being a big slut. That was my plan b4 we got together. She knows it too thats why shes ssaying its cool for me to go be a big slut.
So now she is in this weird grey zone where she isnt quite my girlfriend in the sense that she isnt sleeping over and fucking my brains out, but instead she comes over, gets naked with me, and showers with me until there is no hot water or sometihng like that. You know its like we are even more intimate than other couples who fuck are. We are creative. We also just do shit together all the time. She is a great friend. & she is a great lover. Its weird as fuck. I'm sad right now tho because Its really hitting me just how long it takes to heal. Like healing from sexual abuse is a big fucking deal. I can't break it off with her eiither. For 1, its a terrible tiem for a break up, both of us have to move in the next 2 months and like she is going through a lot, withdrawl of our lovins would fuckin decimate us at the moment. Both of us want to keep seeing eachother. I love this girl. I care about this girl so much. I want to see her good. I want to see her in touch with her sexuality in a healthy way. I want her to fuck my brains out for hours on end and love every moment of it.
So ya I don't know what the fak to do. I wasn't trying to get involved in sometihng like this. I was trying to be with a more stable girl this time lol. I didn't know about any of this. She didn't even know about any of this. Now I am in fucking love with this girl and she isnt gonna be able to give me the lovins I need!!! I need to be fucked. I need to have my girl crashing next to me. Instead I got this girl around me and all my love energy is in her and no matter how much we say I can go fuck other girls, if she is here like every couple days, how am i gonna get my needs met from another girl?? I'm not. Its gonna be wack. & yet I don't want to break it off. I really want this girl in my life so freaking badly. She feels the same. What kind of sick joke is this neway. This is some forbidin love shit from the movies. Fuck this sux.
Please help
