crybabycry
Greenlighter
- Joined
- May 3, 2018
- Messages
- 1
Hey everyone, first im going to apologize for my bad english (i speak spanish).
Im 19 years old, been consuming mdma, weed and lsd since i was 15, with a very responsible use, at first only raving just once a month or two, but last year was a disaster, consumig every weekend but always with an average dose (1 1/2, or 2 pills max). One night we went out and took 2 pills of tested mdma and when i come home, i took 2 mg of alprazolam, i remember my heart beat really fast before that, but after i took the alprazolam, i felt like my heart just stop (i know it didnt) and then started to beat really, but REALLY low so i panick of course, i had like my worst panick attak ever, and experienced extreme drealization, i coudnt sleep for 2 days because i was freaked out with that feeling of my heart. And after that day (24th of November, i remember it as it was yesterday) i never stop having that horrible feeling in my body and mind. I was having 5 panick attacks every day, and dp/dr 24/7. I was going trough hell and thought that i was going crazy, i thought that i would never be able to feel like i felt before anxiety. I never took any medication because i convinced myself that i was going to get over it just by myself, i know that i can control my own mind, or at least try so thats what i did.
Now, after 8 months i have improve A LOT. I dint have a panick attack in like 2 months and my dp/dr is completely gone. But im still afraid of suffer a panick attack, sometimes i feel like im going to have one but i told to myself "is just your mind messing with you" and it goes away, it doesent even start. Of course i stopped taking any drugs during this period, i only took 1/4 of a pill a few times and feel fine, a little anxious but nothing happened. I stop smoking weed (damn i miss her a lot
) and of course never took lsd again because i know that would be like a sucidide haha. Im happy because i improve a lot, doing terapy and excercising.
Im still afraid of taking an average dose of mdma, but i know that nothing bad is going to happen to my body like, i know i can control it but im a little bit scared. But on other side i feel like if o dont do it now, i wont ever do it again because i will never beat my fear, and i defenitly want to do that.
So what shoul i do? Face my fear or no?
Thanks for reading and againn excuse my bad english.
Im 19 years old, been consuming mdma, weed and lsd since i was 15, with a very responsible use, at first only raving just once a month or two, but last year was a disaster, consumig every weekend but always with an average dose (1 1/2, or 2 pills max). One night we went out and took 2 pills of tested mdma and when i come home, i took 2 mg of alprazolam, i remember my heart beat really fast before that, but after i took the alprazolam, i felt like my heart just stop (i know it didnt) and then started to beat really, but REALLY low so i panick of course, i had like my worst panick attak ever, and experienced extreme drealization, i coudnt sleep for 2 days because i was freaked out with that feeling of my heart. And after that day (24th of November, i remember it as it was yesterday) i never stop having that horrible feeling in my body and mind. I was having 5 panick attacks every day, and dp/dr 24/7. I was going trough hell and thought that i was going crazy, i thought that i would never be able to feel like i felt before anxiety. I never took any medication because i convinced myself that i was going to get over it just by myself, i know that i can control my own mind, or at least try so thats what i did.
Now, after 8 months i have improve A LOT. I dint have a panick attack in like 2 months and my dp/dr is completely gone. But im still afraid of suffer a panick attack, sometimes i feel like im going to have one but i told to myself "is just your mind messing with you" and it goes away, it doesent even start. Of course i stopped taking any drugs during this period, i only took 1/4 of a pill a few times and feel fine, a little anxious but nothing happened. I stop smoking weed (damn i miss her a lot
) and of course never took lsd again because i know that would be like a sucidide haha. Im happy because i improve a lot, doing terapy and excercising.Im still afraid of taking an average dose of mdma, but i know that nothing bad is going to happen to my body like, i know i can control it but im a little bit scared. But on other side i feel like if o dont do it now, i wont ever do it again because i will never beat my fear, and i defenitly want to do that.
So what shoul i do? Face my fear or no?
Thanks for reading and againn excuse my bad english.
