Heroin - First Time - first time iv heroin use. the high that never left me.

[dopiejay]

a report on my first time trying intravenous heroin 4 years ago and the reasons I've only done it once more since.

while living in western Canada (not saying exactly where) I managed to get a source for GOOD heroin thru my usual blow source. I mean this heroin was at least 90% pure straight from it's source countries. I had been taking 2 days a week to use so I could avoid dependence and only smoked and snorted it. had a friend who was heavily addicted to it warn me not to use a needle because it would ruin my life like it did to him. but of course I didn't listen. had been on an iv coke binge the week before and somehow had leftover rigs and upon sizing up a nice sized rock to smoke on foil a light bulb turned on in my head. timestamps will begin now but will only be estimates.

disclaimer; I only ever used needles alone and was still pretty new to it. DO NOT DO THIS unless you know what you're doing. I could have easily killed myself by accident. at this point id only been using heroin for a couple months at most, keeping low tolerance, and only been using needles for a couple weeks.

(00:00) upon sizing up a nice sized piece to smoke after everyone left the house for work (they were all on my cross shift and this was my first day off out of 7) I got the Bright idea to play with the needle again after an IV coke binge the weekend before. I went to the bathroom of our house and locked the door even though no one was home. I went thru the preparation the right way, it's easy enough to find here so I won't recycle old information. utfse if curious.

(00:10) sitting on the toilet with all my equipment ready I prepared half of my normal smoking dose of top quality heroin for injection. the 2 little brown rocks vanished as soon as they hit the water in the spoon and almost didn't even change the water color. I didn't think I had enough (LOL) but erred on the side of caution because i was alone. I got a vein, drew back blood, yadda yadda, and thought "I'll only push half the dose slowly and see what happens at first". so that's what I did. instantly as the syringe slowly emptied into my blood stream I began feeling heavy and dizzy. I thought to myself "ok, wait a couple minutes and push the rest, this ain't even that bad". so I sat there nice and buzzed and watched the syringe for about 2 minutes. here's where the time stamps become rough estimates at best.

(00:12) nicely buzzed, I decide to push the other half dose. not expecting much more, I push the other half in quickly and BAM! before I could pull the rig out I fell off the toilet, turned around, puked out my guts and clumsily tossed the syringe up into the sink. I then lid back on the floor and remember saying out loud "HOLY SHIT!" the rush. oh my god the rush.

(00:20) I finally compose myself enough to crawl to my bedroom and pull myself up onto the bed. I lay there staring at the ceiling for god knows how long. my body weighed a ton, I was numb from head to toe, and I felt like I was lying under a hot summer sun. all the worries in the world floated away. I was in heaven.

(2?) honestly have no idea how long I laid there but i figure around 2-2 and a half hours. at this point I began thinking i was going to overdose because of how high I was (in reality I would of been out in the bathroom around 2 hours prior if i did). I decided to walk to the store just in case so that if i did OD someone in town would find me on the side of the road at least instead of in the bathroom 12 hours after the fact.

(3:00?) it took me quite some time to get to the store which was only about a km away. I got lost around the bend one time just looking at how beautiful the town was. the world took on new life. it was beautiful just to look at everything. I got in the store and asked the cashier for a pack of smokes in the deepest, longest slur imaginable. he looked at me like I had 10 heads but said nothing and gave me my smokes. I must have been visibly very fucking high.

(4:30) I walked around the block a few more times, smoked a cigarette and just enjoyed the world. this was a major relief as I was very depressed at the time. it felt like everything was just ok. after taking a little stroll I ventured back home, lid back on my bed and nodded out.

(12:00) twelve whole hours later I remember one of my roommates coming in and waking me up asking why I was in bed so early. they are completely naive to drugs and didn't even like when I smoked cannabis outside so if they knew why I was asleep id of been out on my ass. I explained that I had a few drinks and took a nap. I was still quite high but to the point it was manageable. I called the same friend who told me not to shoot up and told him what just happened. he replied with "NOOOO why the fuck would you do that?". to which I said don't worry it won't happen again.

shortly after this experience it happened again but only about half as good as the first time. i then vowed to myself, after losing friends to the needle, to never touch one again. and to this day I haven't, no matter how great the temptation. even though i would sum this up as the best i have ever felt in my life, I have never touched the needle again and stopped doing heroin altogether 5 or 6 months later. it may be amazing at the time but the feeling never leaves your soul afterwards. to this day, 3 years clean of heroin, I still get drool inducing cravings of feeling that way again. using other opiates and opioids since then and still today but nothing on this planet compares to the feeling of IV heroin.

Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_heroin
substancecode_opiates
explevel_firsttime
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
roacode_iv

 

[Xorkoth]

Hey, thanks for sharing. Good for you for resisting doing it more, opiates ruin lives. I was addicted for 10 years myself, I still sometimes can't believe I actually got past it almost 5 years ago and don't struggle with it anymore.

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

a report on my first time trying intravenous heroin 4 years ago and the reasons I've only done it once more since.

while living in western Canada (not saying exactly where) I managed to get a source for GOOD heroin thru my usual blow source. I mean this heroin was at least 90% pure straight from it's source countries. I had been taking 2 days a week to use so I could avoid dependence and only smoked and snorted it. had a friend who was heavily addicted to it warn me not to use a needle because it would ruin my life like it did to him. but of course I didn't listen. had been on an iv coke binge the week before and somehow had leftover rigs and upon sizing up a nice sized rock to smoke on foil a light bulb turned on in my head. timestamps will begin now but will only be estimates.

disclaimer; I only ever used needles alone and was still pretty new to it. DO NOT DO THIS unless you know what you're doing. I could have easily killed myself by accident. at this point id only been using heroin for a couple months at most, keeping low tolerance, and only been using needles for a couple weeks.

(00:00) upon sizing up a nice sized piece to smoke after everyone left the house for work (they were all on my cross shift and this was my first day off out of 7) I got the Bright idea to play with the needle again after an IV coke binge the weekend before. I went to the bathroom of our house and locked the door even though no one was home. I went thru the preparation the right way, it's easy enough to find here so I won't recycle old information. utfse if curious.

(00:10) sitting on the toilet with all my equipment ready I prepared half of my normal smoking dose of top quality heroin for injection. the 2 little brown rocks vanished as soon as they hit the water in the spoon and almost didn't even change the water color. I didn't think I had enough (LOL) but erred on the side of caution because i was alone. I got a vein, drew back blood, yadda yadda, and thought "I'll only push half the dose slowly and see what happens at first". so that's what I did. instantly as the syringe slowly emptied into my blood stream I began feeling heavy and dizzy. I thought to myself "ok, wait a couple minutes and push the rest, this ain't even that bad". so I sat there nice and buzzed and watched the syringe for about 2 minutes. here's where the time stamps become rough estimates at best.

(00:12) nicely buzzed, I decide to push the other half dose. not expecting much more, I push the other half in quickly and BAM! before I could pull the rig out I fell off the toilet, turned around, puked out my guts and clumsily tossed the syringe up into the sink. I then lid back on the floor and remember saying out loud "HOLY SHIT!" the rush. oh my god the rush.

(00:20) I finally compose myself enough to crawl to my bedroom and pull myself up onto the bed. I lay there staring at the ceiling for god knows how long. my body weighed a ton, I was numb from head to toe, and I felt like I was lying under a hot summer sun. all the worries in the world floated away. I was in heaven.

(2?) honestly have no idea how long I laid there but i figure around 2-2 and a half hours. at this point I began thinking i was going to overdose because of how high I was (in reality I would of been out in the bathroom around 2 hours prior if i did). I decided to walk to the store just in case so that if i did OD someone in town would find me on the side of the road at least instead of in the bathroom 12 hours after the fact.

(3:00?) it took me quite some time to get to the store which was only about a km away. I got lost around the bend one time just looking at how beautiful the town was. the world took on new life. it was beautiful just to look at everything. I got in the store and asked the cashier for a pack of smokes in the deepest, longest slur imaginable. he looked at me like I had 10 heads but said nothing and gave me my smokes. I must have been visibly very fucking high.

(4:30) I walked around the block a few more times, smoked a cigarette and just enjoyed the world. this was a major relief as I was very depressed at the time. it felt like everything was just ok. after taking a little stroll I ventured back home, lid back on my bed and nodded out.

(12:00) twelve whole hours later I remember one of my roommates coming in and waking me up asking why I was in bed so early. they are completely naive to drugs and didn't even like when I smoked cannabis outside so if they knew why I was asleep id of been out on my ass. I explained that I had a few drinks and took a nap. I was still quite high but to the point it was manageable. I called the same friend who told me not to shoot up and told him what just happened. he replied with "NOOOO why the fuck would you do that?". to which I said don't worry it won't happen again.

shortly after this experience it happened again but only about half as good as the first time. i then vowed to myself, after losing friends to the needle, to never touch one again. and to this day I haven't, no matter how great the temptation. even though i would sum this up as the best i have ever felt in my life, I have never touched the needle again and stopped doing heroin altogether 5 or 6 months later. it may be amazing at the time but the feeling never leaves your soul afterwards. to this day, 3 years clean of heroin, I still get drool inducing cravings of feeling that way again. using other opiates and opioids since then and still today but nothing on this planet compares to the feeling of IV heroin.

Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_heroin
substancecode_opiates
explevel_firsttime
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
roacode_iv

Hats off to you sir! Your willpower is incredible...

 

[adder]

disclaimer; I only ever used needles alone and was still pretty new to it. DO NOT DO THIS unless you know what you're doing. I could have easily killed myself by accident. at this point id only been using heroin for a couple months at most, keeping low tolerance, and only been using needles for a couple weeks.

I'm sorry to say this, but nobody knows what they're doing shooting up heroin. When you shoot up for the first time, you don't know what you're doing, you can't know just because you read twenty threads on Bluelight or you know your limits, it doesn't work that way, you don't know if you're going to throw up and hate being half asleep half awake or fall in love with it and a few months later lie in agony on your first withdrawal.

The cravings ease up with time if only you manage not to give in, it's a process of negating your current self countless times before you can reshape it into someone new, there's no going back and it's not a natural slow-paced transformation that an average person slowly undergoes their whole life. I've been on buprenorphine for 6 years, before I took opioids for 8 years. I still have the memory of heroin rush, I can almost feel the initial heart rate increase and the thrill throughout my body, fraction of a second before it would capture my mind and everything would be gone, when I picture myself shooting up a brown solution in a 1mL syringe, but it's very faint now and gets fainter. It's a very weird feeling, I can feel that compulsion as if from behind a semi-transparent curtain, it's not there any more but I could easily describe the shape of it. It's funny how I can know this feeling so well and at the same time not feel tempted to fulfill it. Considering so few manage to get away, I find myself lucky because I certainly did not know what I was doing when I shot up morphine for the first time, the only thing I knew when I took my first dose of codeine was that I was running away successfully, the world I was living in had one or two dimensions less than my world today, there was no way for me to even imagine how the blissful oblivion or the ever-present pain would feel, no way to know how it would all feel in retrospect either.

Thus I would rephrase, don't do this unless you're prepared to risk slipping on a ledge and stumble down the cliff for God knows how long before you hit a rock and crack your head or dive into deep waters. I got to the surface but the haven still slips behind the horizon every now and then.

 

[dopiejay]

I'm sorry to say this, but nobody knows what they're doing shooting up heroin. When you shoot up for the first time, you don't know what you're doing, you can't know just because you read twenty threads on Bluelight or you know your limits, it doesn't work that way, you don't know if you're going to throw up and hate being half asleep half awake or fall in love with it and a few months later lie in agony on your first withdrawal.

The cravings ease up with time if only you manage not to give in, it's a process of negating your current self countless times before you can reshape it into someone new, there's no going back and it's not a natural slow-paced transformation that an average person slowly undergoes their whole life. I've been on buprenorphine for 6 years, before I took opioids for 8 years. I still have the memory of heroin rush, I can almost feel the initial heart rate increase and the thrill throughout my body, fraction of a second before it would capture my mind and everything would be gone, when I picture myself shooting up a brown solution in a 1mL syringe, but it's very faint now and gets fainter. It's a very weird feeling, I can feel that compulsion as if from behind a semi-transparent curtain, it's not there any more but I could easily describe the shape of it. It's funny how I can know this feeling so well and at the same time not feel tempted to fulfill it. Considering so few manage to get away, I find myself lucky because I certainly did not know what I was doing when I shot up morphine for the first time, the only thing I knew when I took my first dose of codeine was that I was running away successfully, the world I was living in had one or two dimensions less than my world today, there was no way for me to even imagine how the blissful oblivion or the ever-present pain would feel, no way to know how it would all feel in retrospect either.

Thus I would rephrase, don't do this unless you're prepared to risk slipping on a ledge and stumble down the cliff for God knows how long before you hit a rock and crack your head or dive into deep waters. I got to the surface but the haven still slips behind the horizon every now and then.

Ur completely right. I'd liken it to preparing for war. All the training, all the education in the world can never get you close to being ready for what you're about to do to yourself. I can't emphasize enough that you have a very very good chance of dying or falling into a devilish trap. Thanks for pointing that out.

Even though I read all the safe procedures, etc etc, I was most definitely not ready for what I had done. Thanks for pointing that out.

 

[dopiejay]

Hats off to you sir! Your willpower is incredible...

My willpower is incredible. That being said, give it another month or two living in the town I was in (northern alberta) I would have definitely fell victim to an addiction I most certainly never would have recovered from. Not long after this needleplay I moved back home where heroin just doesn't exist and I'm so glad I did. It's a very very powerful drug.

Edit: forgot to say, the reason I moved home was to get away from the drugs as I had a very bad cocaine habit and a quickly developing heroin habit. I realized the gravity of the situation and got tf out of dodge. Sadly the cocaine habit followed me home and I've been battling it for the last 3 years since.

Happy to say though, for the most part now I'm completely clean and sober.

 

[dopiejay]

Hey, thanks for sharing. Good for you for resisting doing it more, opiates ruin lives. I was addicted for 10 years myself, I still sometimes can't believe I actually got past it almost 5 years ago and don't struggle with it anymore.

Yup you're completely right. Thank god the drugs didn't cloud my judgement to the point were I couldn't realize the problem I had developed. I knew it was going downhill fast and I had to get away.