• TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT

Meth mind frame

U

Unregistered 2332

Guest
How do you feel about the mind frame after meth use?
 
Hmm.... could you elaborate?

I suppose i would say, after the high, during the comedown. My mind is rather strung out. I find depending how far into it i have been getting, the comedown may leave me also feeling unusually irritable or angry and have bizarre thoughts. Although after i used meth, and am high, well I'm sure thats not what your talking about.

Maybe i could say that my perspective of meth after i've started using it is rather reinforcing. I feel i can manage, I've never felt like there was any addictive potential beyond my control with the substance, hense i would continue enjoying it to the best of my abilities, until i've been addicted long enough to realize how my mind was sort of, hijacked the whole time.
 
This isnt the place for this, im going to send it to the dark side.

Meth left me emotionally cold when I was using, no real emotion to speak of... others I knew had the reverse happen, where thier emotions were amplified.
 
This isnt the place for this, im going to send it to the dark side.

Meth left me emotionally cold when I was using, no real emotion to speak of... others I knew had the reverse happen, where thier emotions were amplified.

I can relate, definitely!

I suppose what i mean by my mind being hijacked is:
My entire life, the only person in my head was me. Simply put. The drugs i did affected me in various ways, addiction, getting high, withdrawal, etc. But for the first time in my life, once i started doing meth, it was almost as if i had let some foreign entity who's name is "meth" take my command seat in my mind, and at same time, convinced the rest of me including itself that it was, in fact, ME! So like the cockpit of an airplane. my whole life i'm the pilot, then one day i do meth, and all of a sudden I am staring into a monitor where i can watch the new pilot who's locked me out of the cockpit. This new pilot, "Meth" is managed to completely convince me that he doesn't exist, and I am still the pilot in control, when that is just the opposite. And so many years pass with my meth addiction. and I've done things that are not me. I've had my own mother in tears tell me she doesn't recognize me, doesn't know who i am anymore. Tell me she doesn't know what happened to me, but wishes i'd come back. And I became super angry with her when she said that, shocked at same time. Because I truly thought i never left. never changed. was still her son. How can she say these things to me?!

Anyways.....
 
I can relate man, meth definitely was bringing out the worst parts of me, glad I walked away from it.
 
In my experience meth and regular speed make me very introverted during the use and then I get horrible comedown where I feel I have neglected everyone around me.

Luckily I've been bingeing on either so it is just for one day/night but is still horrible as I can notice I haven't paid attention to discussions and been just saying something which I even might not have meant to say.

I just browse the web or similar things you can do alone and often they don't end up well if I'm doing something like repairing car and I end up changing a part but forgot some minor part from it.

I don't feel like being intimate and sex is well, just sex without anything special and I don't feel like doing it that way when I am sober.

IMO speed and meth for recreational purposes are one of the worst stuff you can get as you can easily get psychologically addicted into the false energy it gives and start using daily although there are no physiological withdrawals like with opiates.

I really didn't understood whole meth/speed addiction until I met my fiancee who had struggled with it for some years although never using those daily.

Also the quality of speed/meth is very varying here and even same vendors might have one day a batch for which a 0.1g is enough for hours and then on another day a batch which you need to take 0.5g to feel anything and the price is same so I don't feel like using those for that reason too.

I am more into empathogenic and psychedelic drugs although I do those quite rarely now after rehab and I stopped my 7 years long journey with opiate addiction at the start of this year.
 
Hmm.well I'm on the fence about my mind during and after.I feel i can pay more attention to my loved ones. I do still feel. Not really numb but heightened.. I started smoking meth 3 days after my wife passed away at age 38. Been with her since 1998.It's been over a year and I feel like I'm maintaining a solid life with it .when I stopped smoking 6 months ago my life went to hell i had no desire to do anything with out my wife..I started bad after a few key events showed me that it's ok not to feel the world all at once..this is a tool for me..It's helps me. Yeah I know it's not good blah blah but I'm not homeless .hungry.I have two cars and a steady job again. So all I. An day is the meth addiction is what you make of it..I'm not saying yay meth to kids or others. Just my experience with it. If you actually control yourself you can do meth and still be a good neighbor and friend a parent.
 
There was a time in my life when I would have strongly agreed with everything you're saying here. I maintained, controlled my meth use and addiction for several years, good neighbor, friend, parent...that was me. Over-achiever at work, felt invincible.
There was nothing I couldn't do and do better than anyone else. Those were the good times. You say you've been doing meth just over a year? You're still in the "honeymoon" phase. Meth will convince you that you can maintain a solid life, that you can
be successful, and be an everyday stand up guy. And for awhile you probably will. I'd be very interested in seeing you give an update in 2 or 3 years from now. I'd be willing to bet your situation and your opinion of meth will be drastically different.
 
Meth is your best friend that secretly has been robbing you blind, but you don?t find out until you?re years into the relationship and your life is destroyed.

The recovery period is so fucking long. Nothing has fucked my head so dramatically as daily meth use.

I would say having been ?sober? from it a few times in my life, and at present, that it leaves me anxious, empty, and mentally ?raw?. Hollowed out, flattened, empty.
 
Top