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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic

How Bad Can This Be? (Stimulants/Amphetamines)

SolaceSeeker

Greenlighter
Joined
May 26, 2018
Messages
5
Hello all, I'm new here, and wanted to know the answer to a question that's been giving me a lot of anxiety and doubt recently. Forgive me if this post isn't the most well-written, I Just got home from an 8-hour shift on poor sleep. Now, how damaging to the brain/psyche are spaced out amphetamine/ritalin binges? For example, when I first tried (abused) any sort of stimulant other than caffeine, it was a 15mg Adderall XR. Haha, it was so euphoric that I took another a few hours later, and didn't sleep at all that night, even though I was lying down for 8 hours or so. Felt like I was watching a gripping movie in my head as I just lay there, not doing anything. Took another that morning, same dose, another throughout the day if I remember correctly, and that night I crushed up the capsules inside one of the pills, and swallowed that. I smoked some weed, and had a couple intense auditory hallucinations. Heard a metallic crash, probably some other shit too but that's all I remember. Everything seemed dark and "edgy," and I would constantly feel like someone's watching me. It didn't really give me much anxiety cause I knew it was just drug-induced paranoia, but I also noticed like, blobs of dark colors charging at me when I'd turn my head or whatever. Anyway, I went to bed less than like, dunno, four hours later, and presumably slept, though I don't remember anything between lying down and waking up. It was the next day when I took some again that I noticed the euphoric effect was much diminished from the past couple days I'd been messing with it.

I've done the same thing with Concerta when I could get my hands on it. (Ritalin is hard to find) Didn't lose sleep or hallucinate on that, though I did have some shitty comedowns. Now, since then I haven't ever really consistently used stimulants, I know that cocaine, the two times I tried it after this incident, was still amazing, and awfully better than Adderall, but I'm worried in hindsight that the kind of binging I did, with literally no tolerance to the drugs, may have had some neurotoxic effects, or could have altered my brain, whatever. One of the things that concerns me is I think I have more trouble formulating ideas with words and expressing them than I used to. I will often pause mid-speaking to think, or only speak in 15 word increments or less, give or take. I don't think I was like this when I was younger but I haven't noticed anything else out of the ordinary with myself since my stimulant use ended. (Haven't touched anything stronger than caffeine in ten months.) My short-term memory has also probably deteriorated, although I don't read very much anymore like I used to, and since I'm no longer in school there hasn't been a lot of stress to "stress" my mind by writing or thinking. How likely is it that I've done some conspicuous damage to myself with my stim use? What kind of damage does this abuse normally result in? The noteworthy thing here is that this isn't a case of long-term use with increasing doses based on tolerance, as I would imagine the majority of stimulant use is, this is taking high doses (or at least what felt high to me) in week-or-less-long intervals spaced apart by at least another week. Thank you all for reading, appreciate all your feedback! :)
 
I have no idea where this theraputic doses 5-60 mg ,of amphetamine are neurotoxic comes from.

Just because extremely large doses in rats produce neurotoxicity does not mean much lower doses will in humans.
 
It's the uncertainty that is bothersome to me, haha. Also, taking this stuff for days without a break, given no previous experience.
 
Doctors can legally give children 15-30 mg of adderall everyday.

Im not talking teenagers either i mean actual children.

My guess is doing less reading and school is effecting your memory, words, and expression.

Its like how i stopped lifting weights everyday. If i just go in and try to lift what i used to itll crush me.

You said it yourself stress just like exercise is stress which makes your body get stronger when it recovers.

You stopped stressing those areas so they wont be as strong.
 
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