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    Odd anxiety problem which is ruining my life 
    #1
    I have anxiety really bad. Here is what I am dealing with. Its really hard for me to make eye contact with people. If i make eye contact long enough my face starts to twitch and I have to look away. This has evolved into me looking down while talking, but i can tell people feel uncomfortable, girls think I am staring at their breasts and guys think I am staring at their genitals. But it has gotten so bad that my eyes automatically go there involuntarily no matter how hard I try. I know its not a sexual thing. Its hard to describe but here is a thread with other people with the same problem with a much better description then mine:

    http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forum/ob...-partsnot-cool

    Smoking weed for me would trigger this to happen so I quit four months ago, I also quit smoking cigarettes and caffeine. The past 6 years I have done a ton of drugs. I think the drugs that triggered this behavior were amphetamine abuse, psychadelic abuse, and pot. I cant take any of these drugs anymore because during they all make this problem worsen. Alcohol, benzos are the only things that ease it during social situations.

    I'm considering going back to the doctor and talking to them to get something prescribed. This has been ruining my life. The only way I can go out anymore is if I have been drinking. But i dont want to become dependant on alcohol so I only drink once a week and the rest of the week I avoid everyone and everything. Has anyone else had problems like this?
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    #2
    I used to have such problems looking people in the eye. I would stare at their nose instead, and that worked for me. Have you tried staring at their nose?
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    #3
    Bluelighter yompf's Avatar
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    ^ lol. That might be a good idea . I just tried that on my friend . I think it might be less weird then looking everywhere else.
    He said I looked like a drunk news anchor though.
    So Saturn starship (cool name BTW) I actually have the exact same problem. And omg its so embarrassing!!
    Since I was a teenager I haven't been comfortable with eye contact. I've trained myself now that I'm older , to try and lock eyes a few times during conversation . just so I don't come off as rude or too weird. But honestly I'd rather no one talk to me at all during times of high anxiety. I'd rather them think I'm just rude or weird (I am weird after all) then make eye contact even for a little bit.
    It's weird because sometimes I can be very outgoing . but other times I'm just a wreck.
    I've always had trouble with eye contact. It makes me feel like jumping out of my skin. I usually look up at the sky or ceiling while I talk to people or I'll look off to the left or right .... Anywhere but their eyes.
    The worst is .... And I'm female... If I'm talking to another women my eyes will just be weird and look down at their tits....... Oh god !! It's so not sexual ...its like the more anxiety I have the greater the chance is this will happen . and this in turn makes me feel worse , therefore the more it happens..
    I even googled this at some point , to see if it was a "thing" like a fucking mental disorder... Lol. I had this boss and her tits were huge. And she would wear tiny shirts , and so I know she was used to seeing guys move there eyes downwards , I'm nervous as it is when I have to work. So god dang it.... always I would look down. I'd be mortified when it happened because I knew she knew . and so I started thinking that when she saw me looking up or to the left or right or even in her eyes (because she was my boss and i wanted to show respect) when she was talking to me she must of been thinking I was doing this SOLEY to avoid looking at her freaking tits...
    So thinking , she was thinking this... would trigger some ocd thing ,that I couldnt control , like some part of my subconscious hated me and wanted to make things as miserable and awkward as possible.
    So it would just happen every time.
    Let me tell you. I am anxiety ridden and terrible at being social (most times) and making things awkward is my specialty .
    Occasionally i look down to a guys private parts. But ONLY when I feel REALLY anxious. Like in the middle of a FULL blown attack and someonebut trying to be nice to me and I just can't handle it... I just make absolute sure I screw it up .
    Its not sexual. I'm not like YAAA NICE TITS!! Or OH , LOOK AT THE BULGE ON THAT ONE !!
    LOL
    Anyway. Its nice to know I'm not the only one.
    Isn't it screwed up.?
    You know , I have met only ONE other person who didn't make eye contact. And I was so intrigued , we hung out a few times... I swear if I didn't look at him at least a few times , there would of been two people engaged in long conversion , and neither looking at the other , once. He didn't even make a point to lock eyes briefly , like I did .. Or maybe he did but I was busy staring at some wall on the other side of the room and didn't notice.

    Yes alcohol is my crutch when I have to be social... It does after all go to the gaba receptors. Benzos too. Or opiates help.
    A couple days ago I was feeling really down... I had just been fired from a job for a mixture of alcohol related smells and a customer making a phone call... And I had just got this other job and I was warned about the smell already... Basically if I drink I'm going to be fired. I can brush teeth, chew mints but its a strong smell...
    I was really down because drinking really helps me perform well. I can actually focus and I can multi task and I'm a good employee... I couldn't handle it sober
    But its not gonna happen... Not in this setting.... Being able to drink I mean....

    Let me tell you that I am dealing with what is called "kindling" . I developed it whike I was withdrawaling off of benzos and I drank large amounts of alcohol to not go insane at work. This was a while ago... I got away with drinking at THIS job... But anyway , basically now I get addicted to alcohol super fast . Hence the kindling
    I've NEVER even heard of kindling till someone on here told me that was what happened...
    Its not so bad though... I can do Valium or some benzo for a week and get passed it.
    But I don't even WANT to drink. The only reason I am is because WORK. Isn't that backwards.?
    But I had a really good day today!
    I mean it was alright... I got a bunch of valium and 8 mg got me through the day. I did a good job. I felt OK...
    I AM on the shit list because of the smell a couple days ago , but.... I didn't drink and the Valium worked today. I didn't start to get tired and sloppy when the alcohol wore off, forcing me to drink more... I had a good day.
    This of course is not something I would dare get addicted too, but at least I can get through the next week... I really thought this was it. I had planned on quitting this week.
    I'll have to figure this out still though...

    But yes I totally feel what you are going through. .
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    #4
    Bluelighter Runningfox's Avatar
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    You have social anxiety. Perhaps a gabaergic med would help such as gabapentin or lyrica. They work on the same part of your brain as do benzodiazepines n alcohol. So-- if you are prescribed these, NEVER drink or use high doses of benzodiazepines on top of the gabaergic med

    Take care.
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    #5
    Try CBT maybe? I've heard good things about it but never got a chance to try it myself.
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    #6
    Bluelighter yompf's Avatar
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    Seriously op. Why even make a thread and ask a question if you arnt ever going to check your responses .You don't even check your PM's. Sigh....
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    #7
    Bluelighter Runningfox's Avatar
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    Ive seen that happen alot actually. Someone starts a thread n never returns.
    Oh well-- we then just consider it an open discussion I guess.
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    #8
    Greenlighter
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    I have the exact problem that only Benzos would fix. I'm currently on Suboxone and I can't take them anymore. I still have bad anxiety, I feel like some wires must of gotten crossed in my brain. Anyways, Gabapentin has giving me the best results so far. Pushing yourself into social situations help. Don't let your prior drug use effect your self esteem.
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    #9
    Also ive tried the overpowering technique where i put social pressure on the other person, just a little bit so that the focus is on them rather than me.
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    #10
    Everyone has issues with starring ppl in the eyes for longe periods.working in sales I actually trained myself to make prolonged eye contact as it builds trust. But everyone will make eye contact and look away after a set amount of time I'm taking 95% of people. I would recommend looking at the eyes for 1 second then looking at lips. And try to slowly increase the amount of time you spend making eye contact soon you'll get Really good at it and people might think you're weird for looking into there eyes to long lolol
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