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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic

Did my Evekeo (Adderall) binges ruin therapeutic possibilities?

Aloha48

Greenlighter
Joined
Feb 19, 2018
Messages
7
4 months ago I was prescribed 10mg of Evekeo twice a day. I was taking it normally at first, but every 4 weeks Ive been binging 100mg-200mg (and one time at 400mg, yikes)


Ever since the first binge Ive been doing a combination of taking weekend breaks, taking half my prescribed dose on weekdays, and taking a week off completely on two separate occasions


Also these past 4 months I?ve been supplementing everyday with Chelated Magnesium Glycinate, 100mg protein, multivitamin gummies, and a few weeks ago I was taking l-tyrosine and 5-htp during my 9 day break


The problem is 2 weeks ago the Evekeo was only working for an hour or 2, and then I would be extremely fatigued and foggy. So I binged 100mg (like an idiot) and then took a 9 day break. After that the Evekeo worked for about 3 hours and would leave me with only slight fatigue. And after a week of normal usage I binged 150mg yesterday


I?m completely fed up with myself and the situation. I?m a recovered (not anymore I suppose) drug addict with ADD, and this medication has been a huge help. But I?m ruining my body and my chances of this medication helping me every time I take more than I?m supposed to


I plan on taking a 4 week break and asking my doc to prescribe me Adderall XR or Vyvanse instead


But I?ve been googling a lot and apparently tolerance is permanent, at least according to all the forum posts I?ve seen.


So what should I do to get back on the right track? I don?t want ?the magic? or mental rush back. Just the energy and general intestest in life I gained
 
Do you not have a general interest in life? Are you depressed?

I have ths action series ive been writing for 5 years I plan on animating soon, and my favorite hobby is making music videos on YouTube of my favorite movies and tv shows. I?m pretty decent at that and love doing it. Unfortunately I need a new comp. I?m really into podcasts and analazying shows and movies. And also video games and audiobooks. I USED to get out more. But I hate my job and I hate my apartment/roommates. So I?m kind of miserable all day. I?ll be moving out in 3-5 months though. It took a lot of effort to get through the day though before the Evekeo. I would need my headphones playing something the moment I wake everyday to stop the panic attacks. And I really hate that, makes me feel weak. So THIS is really tearing at me. I need be better than I am
 
If you are using amphetamine in a desperate attempt to be a better version of yourself then it's bound to end badly.

I doubt you've ruined the therapeutic potential of amphetamine but the question is, can you control your use in a way that helps you and doesn't result in binges?

If you can control yourself with the IR formulas i doubt switching to an XR formula would help. If you are ready to start using amphetamine with restraint then it can help you, but you have to be able to resist the urge to binge.
 
If you are using amphetamine in a desperate attempt to be a better version of yourself then it's bound to end badly.

I doubt you've ruined the therapeutic potential of amphetamine but the question is, can you control your use in a way that helps you and doesn't result in binges?

If you can control yourself with the IR formulas i doubt switching to an XR formula would help. If you are ready to start using amphetamine with restraint then it can help you, but you have to be able to resist the urge to binge.


Yea you?re absolutely right. I was able to quit cocaine, cigarettes, MDMA, and a really unhealthy diet. So I guess I was naive thinking this would be the same. Before I started binging I really didn?t see this as a drug or something to mess around with. I just saw it like all the other medications I tried. But it?s clearly not.

Right now my only solution is to give what what I have to a friend. And when I get either my refill or the XR?s I?m going to give those to her as well, so she can hold onto them until June 20th, and then give me one a day

its kind of embarrassing, I?m 26 and that makes me feel like a child. But I have been acting like one. I just want to feel normal again like when I first started
 
Don't beat yourself up about this, these drugs get a very strong grip on people. I'm not saying that it's never your fault but these drugs touch all the pleasure centers in our brain, it's only natural that we'd want to keep taking them.

It's great that you have someone you can trust to dole them out to you.
 
Don't beat yourself up about this, these drugs get a very strong grip on people. I'm not saying that it's never your fault but these drugs touch all the pleasure centers in our brain, it's only natural that we'd want to keep taking them.

It's great that you have someone you can trust to dole them out to you.


Its just that Im right on the cusp of my life getting a lot better, and thats 100% because I got sober. And typing out this thread made me realize, holy shit Ive been playing with fire for 4 months and denying it.

I really am lucky to have this friend help me. She told me to stop obsessing over this and focus on the small steps for now while my brain recovers. Right now all I can do is listen to podcasts I like in bed, I?m trying to play a DS emulator on my phone but I can tell I?m not enjoying it as much as I would. I took the last dose Saturday night at 2am and just slept like 13 hours. And I?ve been eating protein bars and chicken with multivitamins and drinking chamomile tea with no sugar. I?m calling out of work tonight and tomorrow night so my body can rest.
 
Also how long should I take a break for? I plan on taking 5-htp, COQ10, Whey Protein, multivitamins, and Chelated Magnesium during my break
 
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For myself, with opiates, amphetimines, benzos, I've found that once I take large doses it's impossible for me to go back to therapeutic doses because of the psychological side of things. While the therapeutic dose may in fact be working biologically, and doing what it's supposed to do, my brain always convinces me it's not because I'm not feeling the way I did on the recreational dose- my brain remembers how that larger dose felt and anything less than that is just a letdown because I know what I COULD be feeling and tells me i need to take more. I've just never been able to do it. Since you've only binged a few times though, stop now and you may be ok. It's a slippery slope- the more you binge, the more your tolerance grows, you need larger doses to feel "normal" like you once did on therapeutic doses, and you tell yourself if you just take more you'll get the desired effect, increasing tolerance- it's a vicious circle.

It really does come down to whether you can control yourself or not. Once you start bingeing self control for future use goes out the window real fast. My advice is that if you truly want to take therapeutic doses rather than catching a buzz, get a lock box (a good one- not those Crappy cheap ones I've broken into a million times lol) to put your meds in and give the key to someone who won't give you more than your prescribed dose and will hide the key somewhere you can't steal it. Have them dole out your prescribed amount. Eventually your tolerance will come back down, but I gotta warn you that you will be sorely disappointed with your prescribed dose now that you've used larger doses to achieve the effects you're after. It will feel like they're not working, but stick it out and eventually they will work like they're supposed to again.
 
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