Hi Billy123- I read your post above. You said
in an ideal world I would be on Methadone right now
Is there a reason why that can't happen? Sometimes you have to ask a little louder for something if no one seems to be listening. Something that is good for therapy and for goals is to start a diary. Write often in it about how you feel, and what the perfect life would be for you. Write about goals you have and about the goals you accomplished already. When you are sad, it could help you to re-read it. And it can be your own progress chart in setting goals. One goal might be "I will eat a little healthier each day" or "I will spend 30 minutes reading about drug relapses" (on internet?) so you can learn what the reasons are. Maybe it will help you learn all the triggers that set it off.
Pulling out the chip in your phone does two things - it cuts off your dealers, and it cuts off your family. Another idea would be to set ringtones for your dealers so the phone doesn't ring if they call. Look for a silent ringtone if you like that idea (I do it).
If your friends are drug dealers, you need new friends Billy. You will always feel the pull of drugs if your friends are users or dealers. It's like working in a candy store while you are on a diet. I know you realize this.
You are recognizing that you have a drug problem and you are doing something about it. I think you're turning a loosing situation into a winning one for yourself. Withdrawals are not for the faint of heart, but you can get through it. If a day at a time is too much, then do an hour at a time. Listening to music can help a lot if it's music you really like and connect with. Try thinking about the instruments that are playing in songs and what the words mean. A song is often really a story and some are very clever in the way they were done. This isn't rocket science, but doing that has helped me by distracting me from constantly thinking about how bad I felt. Oh, and if you put on the music and your song track ends up being on White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane, then you might wanna turn that one off or switch the track
Hope is a renewable option you know... If you run out of it at the end of the day, you get to start over in the morning - every morning.
Dale