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Slipping back into coke

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Monkeragon17

Greenlighter
Joined
May 8, 2018
Messages
12
Hi there. It?s my first post so not sure if this is the right place but I?m looking for some advice. I?m 17 at the moment but when I was around 15 I had a bad coke habit where I was going through 2-3 8 balls a week. Since then I?ve been pretty good and have used maybe every 6 months or so. However in the last 2 week half term (2-3 weeks ago) I bought a gram and a half and did some every night for about 6 nights straight with some Xanax for the comedown. i didn?t use since then but did .25 last Friday without Xanax and am getting pretty bad cravings to keep doing .25 every Friday night. What would your advice be to avoid slipping back into a habit and how should I motivate myself to keep clean again? Again not sure if this is the right place but thanks for helping anyways.
 
Alone, I’ve always used alone since none of my friends ever touched the stuff and that’s just what I’m used to now
 
O.k, do use it before you go out or do you just chill at home using? Do you feel like hanging out with friends is shit and boring unless you're coked up? That's how it was for me. It didn't help that all of my friends were coke heads too. So you have that to your advantage, you can surround yourself with people not using it and tell one of them. If you're finding that life is shit without coke, I'd say you're leaning towards addiction and you need to cut that shit out now while you're young. You're from the UK? The help for getting off drugs and staying clean is 100x better than it was 10-15 years ago. Speak to a doctor, look online to see if there's any local drugs services in your area.
 
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I just chill at home using. I’ve been to services in past but never really got anything out of them. I do try to surround myself with people who don’t use but I spend most of my time alone so it’s pretty easy to use when I’m just sat in my room with the bag so easy to get...
 
I’m autistic so I prefer to spend most of my time alone anyway but drugs just make it worse cos all I wanna do is enjoy the drug without having to worry about what the people around me are thinking of me
 
Hi Monkeragon17- Nice to meet you. I've never used coke, but I still wanted to pop in and welcome you to BlueLight. This is a good place to get information, and especially to find that you are not alone.
I don't judge - so please don't think I'm doing it now and allow me to ask you a question or two: (Think of me as strategizing with you) If you close your eyes and think about your future, what do you hope it will be? I know 17 is young, but what kind of trade do you really want work in? Do you know people with jobs you wish you could have too? Now once you've I.D.'d that, think about the steps to get there - even write them down in a journal (use your computer for that). Next, what kind of a person do you hope your friends and family will see in you as you grow into young adult hood? (again, I'm not judging - just asking for you think about it). You don't need to answer here either - I just wanted you think about these things. My Dad always did well in his job, and my goal was to do even better - to have a nice car and house one day - and to find someone to share it with me. I wanted people to like me - to be around me just because I made them feel better. I believe these are same things most everyone else wants, and I bet you do to. Do you see yourself being able to accomplish these things if you're using coke all the time? If not, please think about finding your way back to sober again.
If you are hanging around with other users all the time, it is much harder to stay clean - far far harder, but I don't have to tell you that. If you don't know anyone that doesn't use, then meet Dale (me) and I'll be your first friend. I'm here most everyday looking to inspire ppl just like you to be the best they can be just like others have done for me here on BlueLight - and I've got the time if you do. (I'm not 17 though - think older :)
Peace,
Dale
You asked for advice - I hope you read this with the heart I sent it out to you with.
 
Thank you it was very kind of you to write that. When I’m older I guess I want what we all want, a nice partner that makes me happy and a family that does the same. One of the reasons I do drugs is that I feel like I can’t get that because I’m too shy. I guess the drugs help but I know it won’t help in the long term. Thanks again for replying it means a lot to me :)

ps thanks to everyone who replies I appreciate them all :)
 
Welcome to BL. I do have to say that 2 to 3 8-balls a week at 15 is a significant expenditure. I have to ask if the lifestyle underlying the drug use isn't as much an attraction to you as the drug itself?
 
jdfisse said:
Welcome to BL. I do have to say that 2 to 3 8-balls a week at 15 is a significant expenditure. I have to ask if the lifestyle underlying the drug use isn't as much an attraction to you as the drug itself?
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it wasn’t a motive but kind of a benefit at the time but not anymore, I mean I saw where that lead me and eventually I ended up in hospital for months. I don’t know if I still find it cool subconsciously but not as far as I know
 
Monkeragon17- Shy? Let me tell you about myself then. I remember as clear as if it were yesterday on "that" day I first noticed someone that caught my eye. OMG So good looking - I felt like a clump. Never would I go up and say hello to anyone so hot. I missed that opportunity three times on different occasions (same person) and on the fourth, as I was about to leave that club for the evening again, I did something I've never done before - totally spontaneously - expecting to get blown off or laughed at. I walked up and said hello. It got magical after that.
Turns out most of us are just as shy - just as unsure.
When you see that person for you - don't think about it - just go up and say hello. It could change your life.
Take care,
Dale
 
SoCal424 said:
Monkeragon17- Shy? Let me tell you about myself then. I remember as clear as if it were yesterday on "that" day I first noticed someone that caught my eye. OMG So good looking - I felt like a clump. Never would I go up and say hello to anyone so hot. I missed that opportunity three times on different occasions (same person) and on the fourth, as I was about to leave that club for the evening again, I did something I've never done before - totally spontaneously - expecting to get blown off or laughed at. I walked up and said hello. It got magical after that.
Turns out most of us are just as shy - just as unsure.
When you see that person for you - don't think about it - just go up and say hello. It could change your life.
Take care,
Dale
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thank you for that. I’m just wondering if you ever felt like you could have a partner or drugs but not both? Because sometimes I feel like that and I usually just feel like the drugs are the better option because they’re always there and they won’t ditch me like people if that makes sense
 
You're welcome. Now remember me the "clump" here and how I told you about how it got magical after I walked up and said hello? That was over 20 years ago and it's still perfect. Love sticks if you keep trying to be the sweet guy you were in the beginning. I don't recommend drugs and partner at the same time - because one person could get the other hooked, but who knows - maybe one could get the other unhooked. Anything is possible.

Man, people ditch others all the time - but not every time. You may go through a lot of weeds to get to a rose, but it is worth it. The important thing is don't stop trying to get that rose. You'll know it when you see it.

Dale
 
SoCal424 said:
You're welcome. Now remember me the "clump" here and how I told you about how it got magical after I walked up and said hello? That was over 20 years ago and it's still perfect. Love sticks if you keep trying to be the sweet guy you were in the beginning. I don't recommend drugs and partner at the same time - because one person could get the other hooked, but who knows - maybe one could get the other unhooked. Anything is possible.

Man, people ditch others all the time - but not every time. You may go through a lot of weeds to get to a rose, but it is worth it. The important thing is don't stop trying to get that rose. You'll know it when you see it.

Dale
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thank you. I just broke up with my former girlfriend and she’s only the second one I’ve had so I think I’m going to take some time to deal with the drugs before I try to get back on the market
i guess a lot of guys feel like the other guys are better at this not just me :\
 
Some guys are better at this, but not all the girls like that kind of guy. Some want the kind of guy that will love them more than one night. Like you :)

Dale
 
It seems as though in the past your addiction to coke was a lot worse. Now you're starting to dabble a bit again from the looks of things, but able to hold on to the coke and wait a week in between using it again. For many people myself included that takes an immense amount of willpower. If you have the power to do that, then I think you have the power to put the blow down for good mate.

I know it's hard to connect with people sometimes, especially on a sober level, but I think you will find if you continually put yourself in situations that appear to be uncomfortable at first, that they will continue to get easier the more you expose your self to them.

Things just get easier from there. And you are at the perfect age to do just that. Your friends not doing the drug is a huge plus. Trust me, you are about to enter the golden age, you don't want to spend your late teens and twenties in a coked out haze. You will regret it.
 
CosmicG said:
It seems as though in the past your addiction to coke was a lot worse. Now you're starting to dabble a bit again from the looks of things, but able to hold on to the coke and wait a week in between using it again. For many people myself included that takes an immense amount of willpower. If you have the power to do that, then I think you have the power to put the blow down for good mate.

I know it's hard to connect with people sometimes, especially on a sober level, but I think you will find if you continually put yourself in situations that appear to be uncomfortable at first, that they will continue to get easier the more you expose your self to them.

Things just get easier from there. And you are at the perfect age to do just that. Your friends not doing the drug is a huge plus. Trust me, you are about to enter the golden age, you don't want to spend your late teens and twenties in a coked out haze. You will regret it.
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Thanks I am grateful that I’m not as bad as I used to be
 
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