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Thread: 3 months from meth ends tomorrow

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    3 months from meth ends tomorrow 
    #1
    I'm three months sober and I really don't want to relapse but I don't really feel like I can stop myself from going back. Can I have some support? I finally have the means to get a lot of my drug of choice meth. I still think I have a lot of stuff missing from my life and I still really feel attracted to meth. I don't have a sponsor. I have a pessimistic view of recovery and although I'm not depressed or really substantially anxious as I've been, I don't really feel that connected with my life or that strong of a desire to get to that point. All I want to do is partake in hedonistic activities alone effectively destroying myself in the process.

    I've never honestly gone this far from stimulants since I've began using them, they have always been my crutch since I was sixteen. What else can there be in life?
    Last edited by cyberius; 13-05-2018 at 23:59.
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    #2
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    Captain.Heroin's Avatar
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    My hopes are blighted, my heart is broken, my life a burden, everything around me is sad and mournful; earth has become distasteful to me, and human voices distract me. It is mercy to let me die, for if I live I shall lose my reason and become mad.
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    You're going to end up regretting it.
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Captain.Heroin View Post
    You're going to end up regretting it.
    But its so fucking fun
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    #4
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    bptubbs's Avatar
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    If you feel like something's missing now, just wait until you've been using a few years, then things will really be missing.
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    #5
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    My hopes are blighted, my heart is broken, my life a burden, everything around me is sad and mournful; earth has become distasteful to me, and human voices distract me. It is mercy to let me die, for if I live I shall lose my reason and become mad.
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyberius View Post
    But its so fucking fun
    If it was actually fun, you won't regret doing it, and you won't feel unimaginably compelled to keep doing it.

    If you came into some money, go on a vacation. It's so much better than a drug binge.
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    #6
    Bluelighter
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    I am a firm believer that "I won't believe a word you say until I convince myself of it". So, read your own old threads. The mindless ramblings. The anxiety. The misery. The illusion of fun. The suicidal and homicidal ideations. Read them all. You have been documenting a great deal of the insanity. That misery will still be there for you. You could even wait a day or a year or a decade for it. It isn't going anywhere.
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    #7
    Bluelighter zephyr's Avatar
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    ^ cyberius you don't have to justify your choices to anyone here and you will go clean when you are ready. Its just addiction man. Either way theres a price to pay so keeping the see saw youll keep paying the price every time.
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