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Thread: I'm alive

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    Moderator
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    Thanks Ash. I think things are looking up. I've been in therapy 2 days a week. I think I've built a workable plan to jumpstart my life. I'm going to taper off sub over the next 2 months then try and get into sober living. I just feel like that's the only way forward for my life. I need a leg up some kind of transitional housing. Unfortunately getting off sub seems to be the only way to access those kind of programs
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    Bluelighter
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    CJ, that is an awesome plan and I am proud of you. You being proud of you is what matters though. Give yourself time and that will come. If you need support through the taper outside the forum I will be more than happy to give you my phone number. I have gone through that taper and would be glad to support you.
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    Wow, that sounds great cj, really proud of you!!! I am here for you always, message me anytime my friend.

    Ash.

    Quote Originally Posted by cj View Post
    Thanks Ash. I think things are looking up. I've been in therapy 2 days a week. I think I've built a workable plan to jumpstart my life. I'm going to taper off sub over the next 2 months then try and get into sober living. I just feel like that's the only way forward for my life. I need a leg up some kind of transitional housing. Unfortunately getting off sub seems to be the only way to access those kind of programs
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    Ugh I think I went down a little fast on this last dose. I've taken 3mg of Ativan today but I'm still feeling rough.
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    My hopes are blighted, my heart is broken, my life a burden, everything around me is sad and mournful; earth has become distasteful to me, and human voices distract me. It is mercy to let me die, for if I live I shall lose my reason and become mad.
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    Quote Originally Posted by cj View Post
    I've cut my Suboxone dose down to 8mg from 16mg over the course of the last week. Did a few days at 12mg in between and it hasn't been too bad. I'm hoping it's not just the half-life playing tricks with my brain and that I won't hit a wall soon.
    8mg is still a solid dose per day, you shouldn't feel any WD yet. Below that it'll feel incrementally "a little" worse. Going totally without it is what really sucks, as I know we both understand and have been through before.

    Stay strong buddy

    Quote Originally Posted by cj View Post
    Ugh I think I went down a little fast on this last dose. I've taken 3mg of Ativan today but I'm still feeling rough.
    There's some studies that seem to indicate benzodiazepines do not work for PTSD, but I think the take away message is that it doesn't typically work "for everyone", and it largely depends on how the individual responds to the drug with/without the disorder.
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    Good morning and Happy Friday to you my dear friend cj!!

    How are you doing today? Thinking of you.

    Here for you anytime,
    Big hugs,
    your friend,
    Ashley.
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    It's been a rough few days. Depression has been really bad for whatever reason. Trying to just keep it all in perspective but it's hard. I feel like I'm in prison or something like solitary confinement.
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    Senior Moderator
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    My hopes are blighted, my heart is broken, my life a burden, everything around me is sad and mournful; earth has become distasteful to me, and human voices distract me. It is mercy to let me die, for if I live I shall lose my reason and become mad.
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    Quote Originally Posted by cj View Post
    It's been a rough few days. Depression has been really bad for whatever reason. Trying to just keep it all in perspective but it's hard. I feel like I'm in prison or something like solitary confinement.
    Are you currently doing therapy man? It can really help. I suggest trying EMDR, I think it could really help you out.
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    Yeah I'm in therapy. It's supposed to be DBT but in reality it's just like all the other therapy I have done. Talk about my problems and such. I like her as a therapist but I don't really know how much it helps tbh
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    It's great you're in therapy and that you actually like your therapist cj. I'm sure it will help it just may take some time.
    How are you doing today my friend?

    Hugs,
    Ash.

    Quote Originally Posted by cj View Post
    Yeah I'm in therapy. It's supposed to be DBT but in reality it's just like all the other therapy I have done. Talk about my problems and such. I like her as a therapist but I don't really know how much it helps tbh
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    Hello my dear friend cj, ( me waving.lol ; )

    I have been thinking about you and wondering how you were doing so I thought I'd pop by.

    I hope you had a lovely weekend,
    here for you anytime,
    your friend,
    Ash.
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    Bluelighter somnilicious's Avatar
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    Hope things are going well CJ.. If you would like to break free from Bama and come to Sober living in Daytona than I can help. The sober community here is phenomenal, so many sober houses and meetings in a small area. We all stick together. I think you would be blown away by the sober community here in Daytona Florida. I would be able to help hook you up with a job in no time. It would absolutely change your life. I was in the almost exact same shoes as you when I came. Having been on methadone and Xanax for years. I'm thinking about you. Think about it. I think you would love it. I brought another guy from bluelighters down here from Tennessee 3yrs ago and he is still here and we are close friends still today loving the sober beach life. It really is a massive sober community here in Daytona. I think you would be amazed. Its florida... The recovery capital... Much love from Somni ....
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    Hey CJ, I know last time we talked, your plans are to go north and/or west, but if that doesn't work out, I hope you consider what Somni had to say about Daytona Beach. Public transport kinda blows, but if you live beachside, you can get to just about wherever you may need to go on a bike.
    Struggling with addiction? Join us at Sober Living. We can help.
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    Bluelighter somnilicious's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aihfl View Post
    Hey CJ, I know last time we talked, your plans are to go north and/or west, but if that doesn't work out, I hope you consider what Somni had to say about Daytona Beach. Public transport kinda blows, but if you live beachside, you can get to just about wherever you may need to go on a bike.
    Actually public transit isn't too bad in Daytona. They have the votran bus with 2 transfer stations which is fairly easy to navigate. The best thing is that the recovery community is huge here. It's like a whole nother world. Everybody helps each other and there are a ton of jobs run by and for recovering addicts.
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    Hey cj-

    I wanted to say hello and tell you you're in my thoughts. I read your thread Wish I could give you a hug. You're (and have been) going through a lot. I have a feeling you will figure out a solution this time.

    Somni's offer sounds awesome. I wish I could do that. It really sounds great! Is there any way for you to go check it out first for a week or two? Maybe see if it's something you'd like? I'm thinking about it Seriously.

    I hope you're well. ❤️��
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    Quote Originally Posted by 10YearsGone View Post
    I'm thinking about it Seriously.
    If you end up in Daytona Beach with Somni, maybe I should rent out my house and do the same!
    Struggling with addiction? Join us at Sober Living. We can help.
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    I'm floundering in my taper off Suboxone so I need to find a halfway house that will take me while I'm still on Suboxone. I've found a few so far but it's a fucking slog. If anyone knows somewhere that will please pm me.

    I'm ok overall. Starting emdr therapy today.
    Addicted? Want to stop? We can help! Come to the sober living forum!
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