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Recreational Use After History of Addiction. Is it possible?

olderblue2

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I've been in recovery for over 2 years, abstinent from mind/mood altering substances after a 15 year on/off relationship with Heroin and many other substances. I liked using drugs, and could give up most everything else, but it was dope that brought me to my knees every time. Now I'm not considering using again, and have gotten so much great stuff from being clean, but has anyone sustained a life of "normal" recreational use of drugs after a history of addiction? How did you do it? I'm afraid that if I ever did smoke cannabis again, it would open the flood gates into my drug(s) of choice, probably not right away, but perhaps down the line. How do you combat that if you have successfully used for recreation after a history of addiction?
 
Take some advice from a friend you haven't met yet - don't tempt yourself if this is what you are considering. If you got addicted once, it will be just as easy the second time - if not easier. Remember that feeling just as the drug is wearing off - and you never intended to use again, but then you do just a little more - just once. Then it's just once again with a promise to yourself of no more - but it happens again because too much shit is happening and you don't want to feel it. Addiction doesn't announce it's here until after it's got a choke hold on you.
 
Good stuff. Another thing to consider is, "If I don't have a problem using weed...then I shouldn't have a problem NOT using weed either". You just don't have to smoke it today...
 
Can I, as a person who has had problems with drug addiction, use something like cannabis without risking a full-blown relapse? ... I think each of us has to answer this question for him or herself. I'm not trying to be cheeky; I just feel like the issue is deeply tied up with our own personal motives for using drugs.

Personally, I've smoked pot more or less daily since quitting heroin (about 18 months ago, with a couple lapses since then). In my own case, I've always felt that weed takes some of the pressure off that would otherwise go into cravings, so I feel like it's worth it for me.

Just as a counterpoint, I'll also mention that other drugs don't work like this for me. Over these 18 months, I've dabbled a bit in some other drugs (booze, coke, adderall, a little meth) and those were bad fucking news for me...getting on that train always signaled that I was gearing up to stumble back into dope. I guess maybe that's the big difference for me--am I taking this drug bc I like it and it adds pleasure to my life, or am I taking it bc I'm subconsciously setting myself up to use heroin again?
 
This song sums it up for me,



Also I am what you call an "all or nothing" person so I kind of have to view it as not an option these days but the thing is I lost the itch to use any drugs for recreation and simply do not want to anymore. That is not to say I still don't have my personal demons to face and am not at risk of relapse.
 
I've been in recovery for over 2 years, abstinent from mind/mood altering substances after a 15 year on/off relationship with Heroin and many other substances. I liked using drugs, and could give up most everything else, but it was dope that brought me to my knees every time. Now I'm not considering using again, and have gotten so much great stuff from being clean, but has anyone sustained a life of "normal" recreational use of drugs after a history of addiction? How did you do it? I'm afraid that if I ever did smoke cannabis again, it would open the flood gates into my drug(s) of choice, probably not right away, but perhaps down the line. How do you combat that if you have successfully used for recreation after a history of addiction?
My gut is to say no to this, but the truth is more nuanced. I abused every sort of downer I could get my hands on (mostly alcohol). I am still prescribed benzos for acute panic attacks. Even though it seems counterintuitive that a psychiatrist would do this, both of us know that if I don't have access to benzos when I have a panic attack, I will drink. So even though I don't take benzos recreationally anymore, I am still using them therapeutically, and taking benzos doesn't cause me to want to drink. On the other hand, when I have alcohol, all bets are off. I will get disinhibited to the point where I will take not only benzos, but also gabapentin (also prescribed) and whatever else happens to be laying around. I only know this because when I wake up afterwards, there are empty medication bottles on the nightstand. So I second the advice that's already been dispensed. If in doubt, don't do it. Because things only get worse. The first time I ended up in a hospital due to alcohol poisoning, I thought that was bad. Until I got robbed blind during a blackout and thought well, at least things can't get worse. Until I ended up temporarily homeless and thought, well, at least things can't get any worse. Until I woke up in jail after being arrested for DUI...You get the picture.
 
I guess it's a matter of assessing where your life is, how it feels to you. Are you happy enough with where you are? With relationships, work>play balance? Do you feel engaged on a daily basis? I think you can make a bad habit out of anything really when your life is not really fulfilling you. My worst vulnerabilities come when I am feeling trapped or dissatisfied with my life in general.

Substance use needs constant monitoring in a lot of the same ways that diet does. As an analogy, It's OK to eat for comfort every now and then but when it is a nightly habit it not only becomes a problem but compounds itself with weight gain and other health issues that become their own problems. Not to mention that you are setting up the whole anticipation/reward cycle in your brain again.

I guess if I were you I would err on the side of caution. 15 years is a big chunk of your life. I'm with Simco on this, though, I really think it is different for everyone.
 
I'll tell you what my psychologist told me, "It is much easier to maintain sobriety, than it is to control use"
 
There is an assumption underlying that statement though. A couple of them.

The first is that sobriety the same as abstinence, and it is not. Abstinence may or may not be conducive to sober mind and behavior, but certain substances (such as medicine that also happens to be mood altering, which is many if not most of them, whether in placebo or directly pharmacological effect) are helpful to sobriety.

A super basic example is methadone. For plenty of people (not all by any means) methadone, which is has a fairly high "abuse" potential (which is why it's so tightly regulated), methadone is super conducive to sober minded thoughts and actions. Heroin is not nearly as such, at least not in the US where we have tried to almost entirely criminalize and stigmatize out way out the a social issue fundamentally rooted in public health.

Another super basic example, ironically, is cannabis. Research shows that states where there is medical and recreational access to cannabis, there is less severe opioid use disorder issues. Correlation is not causation of course, but there is even more research demonstrating cannabis is pretty much infinitely safer than black market opioids like heroin or fentanyl (or fent analogues).

The other assumptions likewise point to a more fundamental question only some people are asking or answering in this thread: What is sobriety? What does controlled* use mean?

If the circumstances of someone life preclude them from achieving manageable, positively empowered practice called "controlled use," impulsive, compulsive, or otherwise uncontrolled harmful drug use is not a wise choice.

However, if the uncontrolled use isn't harmful, or is less harmful than other forms of uncontrolled use, it's still a step in the right direction. Progress not perfection, right?

Perhaps sobriety isn't about perfection (it definitely isn't), but sobriety does involve some degree of growth. Otherwise, if it was just repeating the same old mistakes and walking down the same old streets and blindly falling into the same old holes, well it wouldn't be sobriety.

But if there is learning, growth and movement along the path of awakening self-actualization, of psychosocial or psychospiritual integration, then yeah I think it's fair to label it sobriety.

Thank you SL staff for keeping the real spirit of the rainbow of harm reduction alive on BL!! <3<3<3

*(nothing is totally controlled, after all, but that doesn't mean the chaos has to be super harmful either - chaos can be super helpful when its energy is harnessed by some form of skillful means)
 
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When I stopped opiates I thought I could use stimulants such as speed recreationally nut it slipped out of control so that is a big no no for me.

Although I consider being sober if I use LSD once or twice a year and MDMA every few months so abstinence is not requirement for sobriety for me❤️
 
^sounds to me like abstinence is a requirement for you - abstinence from stimulants and opioids ;)

Abstinence isn't always 100% perfection no mind or mood altering substances period. Love addiction or whatever the hell it's call is like that. From what I understand, food addictions (most process addictions I guess) are like that. Black and white abstinence is only of limited use, in relation to particular objects (like overwhelmingly harmful behavior, black and white abstinence-only is great for that).

Of course, the problem for that is how we define harm. First I think it has to do with harm to other people. Growth involves discomfort, so it isn't just discomfort as harm though. Harm reduction can have its nuances, but it doesn't need to be complicated either.
 
Yeah and if state puts 1$ for customs it gets 0.5$ back but when it puts 1$ to HR it gets 4-7$ back.

And I know abstinence for opiates and stimulants is needed and I will keep that going on.
 
In my opinion, Abstinence is a very unrealistic and idealistic form of recovery,

If you can deal with it than more power to you, but for a lot of people that's idealistic bullshit and does not empower them at all... It enhances the risk of them feeling public-shame and self-shame, because they can't measure up to those impossible standards of Total abstinence,

And you know what? According to research: Shame is directly linked to relapses: https://theestablishment.co/why-the-public-shaming-of-drug-users-must-stop-7907577ca303

There's nothing wrong with using a few times a year recreationally, as long as your life doesn't revolve around using drugs. If you think harm reduction suits you better that's totally fine, there's no shame and you are at the right place to learn how to use drugs responsibly and wisely. I personally have smoker friends and others who used to do harder drugs and attend university just like me, and they are doing fine. Find people who are supportive and understanding of you no matter what, even if you choose like me, to go the harm reduction route after years of abstinence.

toothpastedog has a very good point :
However, if the uncontrolled use isn't harmful, or is less harmful than other forms of uncontrolled use, it's still a step in the right direction. Progress not perfection, right?

There are drugs out there that can actually help you stay off more harmful drugs. There's a lot of intelligent people around here who are experienced with drugs and have HR knowledge to share.

- Hap.
 
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In my opinion, Abstinence is a very unrealistic and idealistic form of recovery,

If you can deal with it than more power to you, but for a lot of people that's idealistic bullshit and does not empower them at all... It enhances the risk of them feeling public-shame and self-shame, because they can't measure up to those impossible standards of Total abstinence,

And you know what? According to research: Shame is directly linked to relapses: https://theestablishment.co/why-the-public-shaming-of-drug-users-must-stop-7907577ca303

There's nothing wrong with using a few times a year recreationally, as long as your life doesn't revolve around using drugs. If you think harm reduction suits you better that's totally fine, there's no shame and you are at the right place to learn how to use drugs responsibly and wisely. I personally have smoker friends and others who used to do harder drugs and attend university just like me, and they are doing fine. Find people who are supportive and understanding of you no matter what, even if you choose like me, to go the harm reduction route after years of abstinence.

toothpastedog has a very good point :

There are drugs out there that can actually help you stay off more harmful drugs. There's a lot of intelligent people around here who are experienced with drugs and have HR knowledge to share.

- Hap.

Thanks Hap. Always great to have people who understand the rainbow of harm reduction, and decide to hang around here :)

My hat's off to folks who have figured out how to make total abstinence only a manageable solution for their previous use issues, but my hat is also off to folks who've figured out how to live a good enough life without continuing to cause everyone unnecessary problems :)
 
It is true that some drugs may keep you out of "worse" drugs. Cannabis for example is a godsend for many opiate quitters and for me psychedelics and empathogenics keep me from using speed which just would ruin things as I can't control it.

If me and my fiancee take MDMA together we can't stop cuddling and talking but speed or meth will make us focus on our own stuffs and not look after each other or even be interested in each other.
 
^I have had similar experiences. Yay to MDMA and cuddling with the one you love :)
 
Yea I have never understood it as a party drug but maybe it works for that too :)
 
For *me personally*, cannabis is the only substance that I've never had a problem with, despite the fact that I enjoy it very much. In fact, it has helped me through some really nasty withdrawals from various drugs over the years.

I only smoke bud on rare occasions and consider it to be more medicinal/entheogenic/empathogenic than recreational. I also look for a higher CBD/lower THC strain (preferably Indica) so that it doesn't exacerbate my anxiety.

Opioids, amphetamines, alcohol and various designer drugs/"research chemicals" are absolute no-no's for me if I am trying to achieve and sustain total sobriety.

I'm still on the fence about benzodiazepines, because I have suffered from major anxiety/panic disorder my entire life and nothing else has worked for it (Propranolol, hydroxyzine, herbs, supplements, dietary changes, exercise, meditation, biofeedback, etc.).

My understanding of most addiction recovery philosophies is that anything potentially addictive is absolutely not allowed for any reason. One problem I have with this is that they have no problem with caffeine and nicotine, which were my "gateway drugs" and still my longest standing, hardest to beat addictions! (especially cigarettes)

Another problem is that if I didn't have my depression/anxiety meds, I would be much more likely to self-medicate with the "bad stuff".

Again this is *just me*, because it's something that I struggle with as well. Nobody knows your mind and body but you, so I would recommend taking the time to really examine your relationship with each substance and any possible consequences. Hope this helps.

Peace, Love and Faith,
Dreamflyer
 
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Actually current addiction medicine understands that there are various drugs people are addicted with different levels and those can be detoxed/quitted at different times and as HR point of view even some Dr.s think it is better to stop those with worst history and stay on those with minimal addiction severity and possible stop those or atleast regulate the use.
 
Just my opinion but those drugs that offer you escape from your problems are the drugs you should abstain from as well as drugs you don't get anything good but use it compulsively are the worst and definately should abstain from.

Those that just offer you some relax like cannabis might ve ok if you don't overdue it as well as in my case MDMA and psychedelics.
 
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