I've been looking forward to today all weekend. Dinner and a few drinks with friends. This morning something inside my mind was trying it's hardest to stop me from getting on the train and heading out. "Just stay in bed" "you feel awful, just say home" It was an absolute struggle to motivate myself to leave my house but I knew once I did, and I sat myself down in the carriage seat, I'd start to feel better. I was right. Socialising today was a reminder of how my life used to be, a reminder of how much I enjoy me being around my friends and a reminder of how much I loved my life off heroin. Today felt great and I'm doing it all over again on Sunday.
I'm getting there I think.
- Thread starter GreenDark
- Start date
GreenDark-
Thanks for your post over in my hole in the wall. I'm still kind of achy today, but I don't feel so cold. Emotionally I feel better. That's more than half the battle with me.
It sounds like you have really snapped back. I know that hesitation feeling real well that you've experienced, and like you, when I pushed myself to go, I have always been glad I did. It's always nice to come back home too where it's quiet and peaceful. Remember that you control your tomorrow - your destiny - one day at a time. I hope you have a great time Sunday
I went on a date recently with a girl that took me horseback riding. It was kind of fun, until we ran out of quarters.
Dale
Thanks for your post over in my hole in the wall. I'm still kind of achy today, but I don't feel so cold. Emotionally I feel better. That's more than half the battle with me.
It sounds like you have really snapped back. I know that hesitation feeling real well that you've experienced, and like you, when I pushed myself to go, I have always been glad I did. It's always nice to come back home too where it's quiet and peaceful. Remember that you control your tomorrow - your destiny - one day at a time. I hope you have a great time Sunday
I went on a date recently with a girl that took me horseback riding. It was kind of fun, until we ran out of quarters.
Dale
Hey Dale,
No problem. It's great to read you're feeling better! I've been clean for 18 days now. Insomnia hit me hard towards the end of the weekend and the beginning of the week but last night I managed to get over 8 hours sleep. It felt great to sleep for so long. Strangely after all of that sleep I'm feeling tired today. Physically I'm staring to feel great but my emotions are a little up and down. I feel happy and positive most of the time but sometimes I catch myself feeling upset over the smallest things. I'm positive it's just PAWS and it'll correct itself over time. I'm also considering moving into a new apartment. Where I live now holds to many memories of drug taking and despair and I feel a fresh start in new surroundings will help keep me motivated and thinking positive.
GreenDark- Congratulations on 19 days clean. That really is a big deal you know. Pat yourself on the back for taking the hard road and getting past it. You deserve it.
Insomnia... You and I both know what that feels like. I've been sleeping better the last several days, but I don't trust my sleep habits are normal yet. Have you tried any OTC stuff for sleep? Diphenhydramine (an antihistamine) will make you drowsy - maybe enough to sleep? It's not addictive at all. Don't take it closer than 8 hours before you have to work though as it will make you feel very sluggish.
Emotions: I've felt the same way as you with the ups and downs and short fuse. I am pretty sure it's because I don't have that opiate in my system that has smoothed over the bumps in life. Do your best to avoid stress creating situations.
A new apartment eh? I see good and possible negative in moving. Here's why: It is good to move into a new place - maybe a little better than the one you left. That sounds like 100% fun to me, but the memories are going to move with you and you will still need to deal with them. A new place could be where you meet someone special - lots of possibilities happen when you open new doors. If you do move, remember that this can create it's own stresses (like cleaning the old place). Whatever decision you make - it will be right for you.
Recognizing that I feel agitated and that it's part of healing really does help me reduce the stress level. When I feel down, I turn on the music. It helps me a great deal to have my dogs. I take care of them and they sort of take care of me. They always seem to know when I don't feel great, and they will come around and lay down right next to me and/or lick my hand. Have you thought about getting a parakeet or cockatiel? I had both once and I taught both of them to cuss. Sometimes that parakeet expressed how I felt so well (eff it). Mostly the point I wanted to make is that it helps me to have pets to take care of, and maybe it could help you too.
Sometimes you don’t realize your own strength until you come face to face with your greatest weakness,
Dale
Insomnia... You and I both know what that feels like. I've been sleeping better the last several days, but I don't trust my sleep habits are normal yet. Have you tried any OTC stuff for sleep? Diphenhydramine (an antihistamine) will make you drowsy - maybe enough to sleep? It's not addictive at all. Don't take it closer than 8 hours before you have to work though as it will make you feel very sluggish.
Emotions: I've felt the same way as you with the ups and downs and short fuse. I am pretty sure it's because I don't have that opiate in my system that has smoothed over the bumps in life. Do your best to avoid stress creating situations.
A new apartment eh? I see good and possible negative in moving. Here's why: It is good to move into a new place - maybe a little better than the one you left. That sounds like 100% fun to me, but the memories are going to move with you and you will still need to deal with them. A new place could be where you meet someone special - lots of possibilities happen when you open new doors. If you do move, remember that this can create it's own stresses (like cleaning the old place). Whatever decision you make - it will be right for you.
Recognizing that I feel agitated and that it's part of healing really does help me reduce the stress level. When I feel down, I turn on the music. It helps me a great deal to have my dogs. I take care of them and they sort of take care of me. They always seem to know when I don't feel great, and they will come around and lay down right next to me and/or lick my hand. Have you thought about getting a parakeet or cockatiel? I had both once and I taught both of them to cuss. Sometimes that parakeet expressed how I felt so well (eff it). Mostly the point I wanted to make is that it helps me to have pets to take care of, and maybe it could help you too.
Sometimes you don’t realize your own strength until you come face to face with your greatest weakness,
Dale
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GreenDark-
How is your day going today? I slept 8+ hours last night. That makes such a difference in how I feel. I hope things are going great for you. Either way, drop me a note or post and let me know how you're feeling.
"Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest said: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” The Man said: “And that frees me from my sin?” The Priest said: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.”
Dale
How is your day going today? I slept 8+ hours last night. That makes such a difference in how I feel. I hope things are going great for you. Either way, drop me a note or post and let me know how you're feeling.
"Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest said: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” The Man said: “And that frees me from my sin?” The Priest said: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.”
Dale
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Hey Dale.
I haven't had time for the internet over the last few days. I've been spending time with my family and friends, going out and just trying to socialise and get back into the swing of things. I have 23 days off heroin now and sleeping is still a problem for me, sometimes I'll get a good 7-8 hours and the next night I'll be wide awake and uncomfortable. I know it takes time and I'm happy to just grind it out. Another thing thing is goosebumps. I still associate goosebumps with WD symptoms, even if I get them while listening to a good song, it's strange but again my mind needs to adjust. Overall I feel really good physically. Mentally I'm a little off. I was around a huge group of people yesterday and I began to feel a little uncomfortable, as if I didn't fit in and I struggled to talk to people like I used to. I wanted to just leave and go home, but I knew that isolating myself wasn't going to help me in the long run.
I hope you're o.k and I'll check you thread a little later to see how you've been. Today I've invited family around my home for the first time in years, they were shocked, lol.
I haven't had time for the internet over the last few days. I've been spending time with my family and friends, going out and just trying to socialise and get back into the swing of things. I have 23 days off heroin now and sleeping is still a problem for me, sometimes I'll get a good 7-8 hours and the next night I'll be wide awake and uncomfortable. I know it takes time and I'm happy to just grind it out. Another thing thing is goosebumps. I still associate goosebumps with WD symptoms, even if I get them while listening to a good song, it's strange but again my mind needs to adjust. Overall I feel really good physically. Mentally I'm a little off. I was around a huge group of people yesterday and I began to feel a little uncomfortable, as if I didn't fit in and I struggled to talk to people like I used to. I wanted to just leave and go home, but I knew that isolating myself wasn't going to help me in the long run.
I hope you're o.k and I'll check you thread a little later to see how you've been. Today I've invited family around my home for the first time in years, they were shocked, lol.
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GreenDark-
Outstanding! Congratulations on 23 days clean. Seems like a lot longer doesn't it, because of the withdrawals. You do know what a big deal that is to get through 23 days - right?
You and I are having the same sleep issues. Since I've been at this a little longer and still have that issue, it might take a little longer for you as well - maybe not. I am sleeping more - just not regularly every night (yet). I am doing far better than when I started this journey. I really can see the end of tunnel.
I get uneasy in crowds too, especially if I feel like I should be talking to people. I've never been good at that, but it bothers me less and less and time goes by. Maybe I was never meant to be a social butterfly. Maybe you weren't either? If not, there's nothing wrong with it.
Inviting family over eh? For me, that means I have to clean the house - so no thank you
"We meet No ordinary people in our lives; if you give them a chance, everyone has something amazing to offer"
Dale
Outstanding! Congratulations on 23 days clean. Seems like a lot longer doesn't it, because of the withdrawals. You do know what a big deal that is to get through 23 days - right?
You and I are having the same sleep issues. Since I've been at this a little longer and still have that issue, it might take a little longer for you as well - maybe not. I am sleeping more - just not regularly every night (yet). I am doing far better than when I started this journey. I really can see the end of tunnel.
I get uneasy in crowds too, especially if I feel like I should be talking to people. I've never been good at that, but it bothers me less and less and time goes by. Maybe I was never meant to be a social butterfly. Maybe you weren't either? If not, there's nothing wrong with it.
Inviting family over eh? For me, that means I have to clean the house - so no thank you
"We meet No ordinary people in our lives; if you give them a chance, everyone has something amazing to offer"
Dale
Greendark....Wow 23 days clean is AMAZING!!!! So happy to hear you're doing so well, just found your thread so I will check back on your chronicles.
I think it's really awesome that you have invited friends and family over, I bet they are so proud of you!! You're doing so well my friend!
And I think it's a great idea to get into a new place, you can make new and even better memories there!!!! I wish you the very best!!
Hugs,
Ashley.
I think it's really awesome that you have invited friends and family over, I bet they are so proud of you!! You're doing so well my friend!
And I think it's a great idea to get into a new place, you can make new and even better memories there!!!! I wish you the very best!!
Hugs,
Ashley.
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
- Joined
- Nov 3, 1999
- Messages
- 84,998
25 days. The last couple of days the weather has been awful so I've been stuck inside and it's driving me crazy. I need to keep busy as boredom sets in almost instantly. I've found a new place to live and I've notified my landlord that I'll be leaving shortly. I think he's already found a new tenant which means I definitely have to move. My anxiety levels are high right now as I need to clean up, pack my things, hire a truck and arrange TV, internet and everything else that comes with moving. I just can't be bothered with any of it. I just want to be outside walking around or hanging out with friends. I'm trying to live a stress free life at the moment. However, where I live now holds to many memories of drug use so I must do this.
My sleeping is still awful, I dread going to bed as I just toss and turn. I even had mild RLS the other night. Yuk. I'm not craving Heroin, but I do wish I could find ways of entertaining myself when I'm stuck in alone. It's amazing how quickly time passes when you spend all day everyday nodding out on Heroin. Still, I'm done with that life and I'll just keep on grinding away day by day.
My sleeping is still awful, I dread going to bed as I just toss and turn. I even had mild RLS the other night. Yuk. I'm not craving Heroin, but I do wish I could find ways of entertaining myself when I'm stuck in alone. It's amazing how quickly time passes when you spend all day everyday nodding out on Heroin. Still, I'm done with that life and I'll just keep on grinding away day by day.
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
- Joined
- Nov 3, 1999
- Messages
- 84,998
With the RLS, two words for you:
Tiger Balm
Try and keep your head up GreenDark. You're well on your way to the place you wish to inhabit.
Tiger Balm
Try and keep your head up GreenDark. You're well on your way to the place you wish to inhabit.
Beenbetter
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 19, 2017
- Messages
- 200
You have the right attitude for sure man!! Keep at it I'm still trying to get off subs and benzos. I'm heading to the keys to dry up a bit. Been drinking way too much. Actually got thrown in rehab but I checked myself out cause I've never been offered so much free drugs in my life anywhere aside from a rave in college. Rehab was going to be more detrimental than helpful. I would have come out string out on dope again instead of just a drunk. I've gotta stay off the liquor i went crazy for a few days. fuck!!!!
Thanks for all of the positive posts guys. They're great for morale.
I managed to sleep for 6 hours straight last night and for some reason I dreamt about Dwight K Schrute from The Office . It's nice to dream again! My head felt fuzzy this morning but after it lifted I felt motivated and refreshed. The thought of moving to a new apartment feels exciting again and I'm looking forward to getting stuck into some cleaning later today or tomorrow. The feelings of hopelessness I experienced yesterday have vanished, my brain really is a roller coaster of emotions at the moment. I think today is the best I've felt 26 days after quitting heroin. I know it's not over yet but I'll happily take a few rough days of despair in order to have a day of feeling almost like a normal human again.
I managed to sleep for 6 hours straight last night and for some reason I dreamt about Dwight K Schrute from The Office . It's nice to dream again! My head felt fuzzy this morning but after it lifted I felt motivated and refreshed. The thought of moving to a new apartment feels exciting again and I'm looking forward to getting stuck into some cleaning later today or tomorrow. The feelings of hopelessness I experienced yesterday have vanished, my brain really is a roller coaster of emotions at the moment. I think today is the best I've felt 26 days after quitting heroin. I know it's not over yet but I'll happily take a few rough days of despair in order to have a day of feeling almost like a normal human again.
GreenDark- That's great news that you got some sleep. I know how much better I felt after a good sleep and am glad you got your turn today. Hopefully you'll get on a pattern of sleeping every night before too much longer. Be sure you eat enough and get exercise, and get outside in the world. There's a lot to see and do.
I found an article that I think might help you understand your emotions. If you'd like to read it, it's here: https://www.recovery.org/what-you-need-to-know-about-psychological-withdrawal/
Not sure I agree with how long they say those symptoms last though. I'm pretty much all through with the moodiness even though my drug was longer acting. I feel pretty much calm all of the time (unless I don't get sleep. Maybe your drug has a stronger effect on the psych - not sure.
You said:.
Seriously, just take things at your own pace and don't push yourself too much while moving. Keep the music playing - it helps pass the time faster when I do work around the house.
"Note to self: Don't leave the dog shampoo on the tub's edge. On the bright side, I should be flea and tick free for the next 30 days.
Your friend,
Dale
I found an article that I think might help you understand your emotions. If you'd like to read it, it's here: https://www.recovery.org/what-you-need-to-know-about-psychological-withdrawal/
Not sure I agree with how long they say those symptoms last though. I'm pretty much all through with the moodiness even though my drug was longer acting. I feel pretty much calm all of the time (unless I don't get sleep
. Maybe your drug has a stronger effect on the psych - not sure.You said:
With that in mind, what are you doing the day after tomorrow
.Seriously, just take things at your own pace and don't push yourself too much while moving. Keep the music playing - it helps pass the time faster when I do work around the house.
"Note to self: Don't leave the dog shampoo on the tub's edge. On the bright side, I should be flea and tick free for the next 30 days.
Your friend,
Dale
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
- Joined
- Nov 3, 1999
- Messages
- 84,998
^not really a fan of that article about recovery.
Classifying the physical withdrawal and psychological withdrawal as separate when they are intimately (and more than not) connected is misleading, as is determining the "psychological withdrawal" as post-acute is also misleading.
The whole physical vs psychological withdrawal idea has been long since debunked - they're part of a group of profoundly interconnected processes involved in the complex known as "withdrawal syndrome," which varies not just by individual physiology and psychology (and neurophysiology and trauma history), but by the specific forms of substance use being recovered from.
But that all aside, what am a fan of is how helpful and supportive your posts are SoCal Thank you for all your help in SL Dale!!!
Classifying the physical withdrawal and psychological withdrawal as separate when they are intimately (and more than not) connected is misleading, as is determining the "psychological withdrawal" as post-acute is also misleading.
The whole physical vs psychological withdrawal idea has been long since debunked - they're part of a group of profoundly interconnected processes involved in the complex known as "withdrawal syndrome," which varies not just by individual physiology and psychology (and neurophysiology and trauma history), but by the specific forms of substance use being recovered from.
But that all aside, what am a fan of is how helpful and supportive your posts are SoCal
Thank you for all your help in SL Dale!!!
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I like the way your mind thinks TPD. You're so educational, you're teaching me a lot. You do a fantastic job on SL yourself there TPD, and have helped me personally.
Have a great weekend TPD!!!
your friend,
Ashley.,
GreenDark,
Hello my friend, just checking in to say I hope you have a great weekend and that you're doing well. Day 5 for me today.
Your friend Ash.
Dale,
Keep doing all you're doing here on BL. Man TPD is so right, you make a big difference here and I'm happy to have you as my friend.
Keep the jokes coming Dale, they're getting me through with some laughs at least!!
Your friend,
Ashley.
Have a great weekend TPD!!!
your friend,
Ashley.,
^not really a fan of that article about recovery.
Classifying the physical withdrawal and psychological withdrawal as separate when they are intimately (and more than not) connected is misleading, as is determining the "psychological withdrawal" as post-acute is also misleading.
The whole physical vs psychological withdrawal idea has been long since debunked - they're part of a group of profoundly interconnected processes involved in the complex known as "withdrawal syndrome," which varies not just by individual physiology and psychology (and neurophysiology and trauma history), but by the specific forms of substance use being recovered from.
But that all aside, what am a fan of is how helpful and supportive your posts are SoCal
GreenDark,
Hello my friend, just checking in to say I hope you have a great weekend and that you're doing well. Day 5 for me today.
Your friend Ash.
Dale,
Keep doing all you're doing here on BL. Man TPD is so right, you make a big difference here and I'm happy to have you as my friend.
Keep the jokes coming Dale, they're getting me through with some laughs at least!!
Your friend,
Ashley.
GreenDark- That's great news that you got some sleep. I know how much better I felt after a good sleep and am glad you got your turn today. Hopefully you'll get on a pattern of sleeping every night before too much longer. Be sure you eat enough and get exercise, and get outside in the world. There's a lot to see and do.
I found an article that I think might help you understand your emotions. If you'd like to read it, it's here: https://www.recovery.org/what-you-need-to-know-about-psychological-withdrawal/
Not sure I agree with how long they say those symptoms last though. I'm pretty much all through with the moodiness even though my drug was longer acting. I feel pretty much calm all of the time (unless I don't get sleep
You said:
With that in mind, what are you doing the day after tomorrow
Seriously, just take things at your own pace and don't push yourself too much while moving. Keep the music playing - it helps pass the time faster when I do work around the house.
"Note to self: Don't leave the dog shampoo on the tub's edge. On the bright side, I should be flea and tick free for the next 30 days.
Your friend,
Dale
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GreenDark-
TPD has a lot of experience with withdrawal issues and help, so I defer to his advice and I appreciate him stopping in to share.
For me, the emotional stuff came early on. I didn't share much of that on my thread, but I will here. I felt like it was better one day - then not the next - like waves of up and downs. I felt very low energy, a hard time with sleep and zero appetite. I also had an especially hard time with concentration/remembering things. I felt very irritable, but I knew it was coming from within, so I did my best not to show it when I had to go out. My worst anxiety was "am I ever going to feel normal again." I feel I'm getting back to normal now though. I still don't sleep every night, but I do most nights. My mood is back to normal and my concentration and memory is back to normal. I know everyone is different, but I thought telling you what I went through might help you see the light at the end of the tunnel with what you're experiencing.
Be patient with yourself and be willing to give yourself the time to heal emotionally. We have to take care of ourselves first in times like this. It will get better for you. I hope your move is going great!
"My friend boasted he had the body of a Greek god. I had to explain where Buddha actually comes from."
Your friend,
Dale
TPD has a lot of experience with withdrawal issues and help, so I defer to his advice and I appreciate him
stopping in to share. For me, the emotional stuff came early on. I didn't share much of that on my thread, but I will here. I felt like it was better one day - then not the next - like waves of up and downs. I felt very low energy, a hard time with sleep and zero appetite. I also had an especially hard time with concentration/remembering things. I felt very irritable, but I knew it was coming from within, so I did my best not to show it when I had to go out. My worst anxiety was "am I ever going to feel normal again." I feel I'm getting back to normal now though. I still don't sleep every night, but I do most nights. My mood is back to normal and my concentration and memory is back to normal. I know everyone is different, but I thought telling you what I went through might help you see the light at the end of the tunnel with what you're experiencing.
Be patient with yourself and be willing to give yourself the time to heal emotionally. We have to take care of ourselves first in times like this. It will get better for you. I hope your move is going great!
"My friend boasted he had the body of a Greek god. I had to explain where Buddha actually comes from."
Your friend,
Dale