years of adderall and recovery

[zoshmiester]

Started taking 40 mg 3 years back. Over that time span I loved to synergize and potentiate the amphetamine. Taking exceedingly high doses in conjunction with a concoction of benzos, alcohol,opiates, rc's.

I want to quit, I now though have severe anxiety that at times bleeds into paranoia. It is debilitating, I can' leave my house, talk to people, work, I can't do anything. I've seen docs and counselors to no avail.

I don't know what to do. Any suggestions to help me get through this would be much appreciated.

 

[zoshmiester]

I didn't have any problems prior to my use...

 

[herbavore]

zosh, do you have any access to therapy? It sounds like you have developed a very scary tendency towards isolation which will just compound the paranoia. There are ways to retrain your anxious thoughts but getting off the drugs is imperative to being able to start that process.I know that this must sound completely overwhelming but the truth is that you are in a good position to capitalize on your own strength right now. You have admitted to yourself honestly that you want to make a change. You have reached out here and with some support in real life I know that you could change course. Don't get discouraged by how big the problem feels. The biggest changes come from the smallest steps--you do not have to tackle everything at once but you do need to recognize the interdependence and connections between emotional/psychological problems and drug use; dealing with them holistically is the most effective.