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Thread: I did some really bad stuff this morning - Help!

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    I did some really bad stuff this morning - Help! 
    #1
    Been seeing my girlfriend for now 7 months. We met on Tinder. We have good energy together. I often visit her. She lives in the city and me in the suburbs. It's a 30min commute. I do business in the city so meeting up isn't an issue at all. We have plans for today (Friday) to see a movie and a dinner after. Saturday we are hanging out in the evening and on Sunday we'll be together as well. We usually try to spend weekends together and a day or so during the week. Our schedules are both a bit weird.

    So yesterday (Thursday) she hasn't reached out to me all day. While my hands were full I called her in the evening to just get logistics together for Friday. I then asked if she wanted to meet now for drinks and dinner. It was so nice out yesterday. Anyway, she said she was gonna go to the gym. And then later on text said tell me the time and place and I'll be there. A minute later she said actually if you want me to be 100% for tomorrow I better get home and sleep. I said ok. Although I was gonna challenge her I still went out and had a good time (By myself).

    So I ended up getting a bit weird in the night. I got home at midnight and gave her a call. Left her a VM because she said she got home last night and hit a wall. So I wanted to just see how she was doing. I know she was sleeping so I left a message. I usually stay up late so she knows how I do with the late calls.

    Anyway this morning (Friday) I did some while S#it. I took the train to her house to see if she would leave there from work. She text me about 7:30am and said that she fell asleep. I didn't respond back because I was down the block from her house. I guess I wanted to see if she would leave and go to work at her scheduled time. However, she didn't leave her apartment. I didn't see her leave at all and I was standing there 30 minutes before she usually leaves.

    I feel a bit messed up about it but also sad and confused. I feel as though she slept somewhere else last night and I don't know what to do or handle this situation. I also feel as though she has been a bit distant when we aren't together. She always text and doesn't really call often. I recently told her a week or so ago that I was in love with her. She said that she loved me to and shortly after started to cry. I asked why she was crying she said happy cries and that she felt the same and mutual so it was a win win.

    I messed up by going there early to see if she would leave but I didn't know what else to do. I also don't know what to do. We have a trip coming up at the end of this month to leave the U.S. together for a vacation that she invited me on too. Idk She could have went to the gym as well or leave for work earlier. Not sure. Any help with this situation and how to proceed will be helpful.
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    #2
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    pofacedhoe's Avatar
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    I dont think stalking your girlfriend out of paranoia is the best way to maintain trust in a realtionship

    talk to them and guage their reaction is way more useful

    1 you wont look crazy

    2 if you have been with someone for a while you will know when they are behaving differently

    sit down and have a talk with her
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    #3
    7 months isn't that long but I don't think telling your partner you love them is a red flag. What was she like when she cried?
    You can usually tell the difference between a positive and negative cry..

    As pofaced said, I'd recommend you be straight with them and see how they respond.
    I don't know if loitering near her house once is actually stalking but it's definitely not cool, and if you made a habit out of it that would be straight up stalking.

    Also if you're doing this (already) I think you may have trust issues that you should address.

    A pretty big indicator of her honesty would have simply been to ask how her day was, if she was rostered to work and didn't.
    A pretty big indicator of the (likelihood of) success of this relationship is the fact you went to her house to check her whereabouts, especially after something as minor as not answering the phone.
    Given the age of this thread I'm assuming some sort of conclusion has already been reached.
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    #4
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    What? Did you ask her? Like... why not just text her-- I'm outside your house -- surprise! Lol.
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    #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty_Diamonds View Post
    What? Did you ask her? Like... why not just text her-- I'm outside your house -- surprise! Lol.
    oh shit! this!!

    very good idea

    it'll seem a bit keen but you could try to surprise her with some gift and in the process silence your doubts or have them confirmed
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    #6
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    ^ this would have been a good idea I suppose but the question you really need to be asking yourself I think is why did you feel the need to take a train to her house in the morning to see if she leaves from there to work? Has she done anything to make you doubt her before. You two have a big trip coming up at the end of the month and all...it seems like you would feel stronger about the relationship.

    How are you so sure about what time she leaves or her routine if you two don't live together? Is this something you have done in the past?
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