Failed!

[goosey]

So I posted recently about getting off Tramadol. I'm failing miserably. Was trying to taper one a week, then went back to 1/2 pill less, from taking them every 3 days to 2 days, plus valium to help sleep.

Feel like shit - mentally and very disappointed in myself - pity party for one!

A lot of my problem is anxiety - would I be better to go to the Doc and get anti anxiety pills to replace the Tramadol? I really haven't a clue.

A really really stupid very attractive side effect of the Tramadol is it cuts out my appetite - as in I eat very little that day and I hate myself for admitting it but I love that it helps to keep
weight down. I've never really been overweight but being slim is an issue in my mind - I've never had an eating disorder - Tramadol as a weight loss supplement!
- bloody ridiculous! never admitted that before but I do scrutinise my weight very harshly - and feel very guilty about that - theres far more important issues than vanity. Not my own
biggest fan - I've been told before i practically recoil if given a compliment. Feeling pretty low at the moment and pissed with myself. So..... what now? any advice greatly appreciated.

Thank you x

 

[Ds]

hi goosey, it's going to be okay, don't beat your self up. hell we all make mistakes, and fall short in one way or another. I relapsed multiple of times before I got sober. You mentioned something about the Valium, are you taking it only 1 time a day at night time? is that prescribed?
I'm not a doctor, and I hate suggest taking more benzos, but it might help you out. (I don't want you to run out of the Valium either if you are only prescribed it 1 time a day), maybe you could try quartering the valium, and take a quarter along with a half a pill of the tramadol at a time, and use another quarter of the valium for break-through anxiety relief.

Not sure what your doctor is like, if he would treat you like an addict seeking drugs, i'd really hate it if they were to take you off your meds completely.

cheer up! you did the right thing by talking about it, now just need to fallow it with some action. =)

 

[goosey]

Hi D's,
You're so kind - I'm actually crying reading your words - I'm on a real downer, weepy kinda buzz at the moment. Feeling guilty and I'm such a baby! Thank you.

I'm prescribed 10mg a day of benzos - actually I call my Doc Dr.Feelgood! - he's always been happy to prescribe pills - I have genuinely needed them for
a litany of physical stuff that happened to me due to an accident, and now I'm hooked and using recreationally or needing to take them to feel normal as the case may be.
Think I need to cut off my supply though. Have plenty of benzos to get me through. Do you think upping the benzos as I taper off the Tramadol would work? I've only been taking the benzos
to help sleep but hell I'll take them to stop the Tramdol if thats what it takes.

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply and for being so nice xxx

 

[Ds]

=)

You are my peoples, and I have a heart for anyone that is either currently struggling with addiction/mental illness, or has worked to overcome life's curveballs.

I have been around people that have gone into seizures while taking tramadol, now I'm not 100% sure if the cause of the seizure was because they had consumed more then they should have or haven't had any tramadol at all. kind of worrisome because I was holding the dudes head like wtf =O

I think it is safe to say to maybe ask your doctor for a long-acting benzo, something to help with the anxiety, and followed with a mild mood stabilizer. Sounds like you might need something to help prevent the feeling of sorrow and I think something like that might benefit you.

I wouldn't set your self up for failure and ask to be completely removed from the tramadol, because if you were taken off of it, then you might feel even worse then you did in the first place.
Once you have the medications to help with the GAD/panic issues, then you might be able to start slowly taking less, and less of the tramadol.
=)

 

[motiv311]

its the price we pay amigo

 

[goosey]

Hi D's,
Thank you - I will talk to my Doc, can't handle the idea of dealing with depression again, the panic attacks are pretty shit too. Thanks so much for getting back to me and all your advice - much appreciated
- Much love xx

 

[goosey]

Hi motiv311,
You're right - it is the price we pay - please understand though that this started after an accident which caused me severe pain and anxiety - I was afraid to leave the house and in a really bad way. I was prescribed the meds for the pain and anxiety that came as a result. I also lost both a relative and a close friend to cancer in the space of 3 weeks during this time. So I'm struggling with grief as well as trauma. I've relied on Tramadol medically and physchologically to escape. I get your point I really do, but it hurts.

 

[determinedmom53]

Goosey - I recently stopped taking Tram and am so happy I did. You can see my post to see what I'm going through but that Tram is a bit@!. I've read a bunch of medical reports about it causing seizures and all kinds of issues and many BLr's have posted about the WD's being worse than H. I was on opiates for about 3 years and quit a month ago. I had some Tram and was taking a couple a day even though they didn't feel like they were working until I took my very last one and went right back into WD's again. I"m not in any place to give advice but I have many of the same issues as you and have taken the same things. My life now even though I still feel crappy is 100% better than it was when I was counting pills. It's a massive relief and now I get to have a real life again. Yes - I gained a little weight but was probably too thin before. Yes I have the same body issues you do but really, is that a good reason to keep taking something that could kill you? I'm here if you want to talk and I'm motivated to keep myself healthy. If you are like me you don't have to worry about your weight - just keep it real. And remember, that crap could end you. Then your weight wouldn't matter. Make a choice and stick to it. There are so many options here. My biggest boost was mental. I made a decision and stuck to it. It's a month later and I feel more determined now then I did then. Once you make a statement you feel a little motivated to stick to it and not fail this group of people. You are here - posting on this site - you clearly want to make it work. Congrats and know that we are here for you.

 

[goosey]

Hi Determinedmom53,
Thanks for your reply. Of course you are 100% right - the weight thing should be and will it a non issue - way more important things
to get through. Do you mind me asking if you continued taking bezos to help you come off Tramadol? - to make the depression less? or does that
work? You said you have many of the same issues as me so I'm heartened to hear that you are doing so well - it gives me hope. The external issues
with me - slow recovery from my accident and the 2 deaths are bad enough to deal with, so this reliance or addiction is another blow! but we all have good days
and bad days, and I am motivated to kick this. Thank you so much for your kind words of support and advice.
much love xx

 

[motiv311]

id start using kratom, its similar to tramadol in terms of pain killing ability and energy infusing properties, probably cheaper, and easier to quit too