Thread: Painful Break(up)

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    Painful Break(up) 
    Bluelighter HarrytheHead's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    East Coast USA
    So my girlfriend and I have dated for almost 6 months and are on a break (or breakup?). She is pretty, smart and sensitive and I love her. But in the last few months we have been getting into some bad fights. For example she would be upset when I wouldnt carry all of her bags or get her aspirin when she had a headache. I would often fight back because it felt like I was getting negative reviews and I thought I did actually take care of her (when I remembered). She was also getting used to the fact that I wasnt wealthy. She came from a wealthy family and thought she would end up with a richer man. However, I still do well and own my apartment.
    On the flip side I would bring things to her such as her schedule being packed and me being stressed about it. Some of the things were for both of us to do, some were just her things. She would get very defensive when I brought this up. I felt she was hypocritical because she would be upset if I ever got defensive.
    Anyway after a couple months of fights and even some couples therapy I told her I wanted to take a break. However just 5 days in and I am missing her so terribly. I?ve already reached out to say I miss her and I would love to try things differently. She?s taking time to think about it and see if it?s smart to meet up to talk again. I am really scared because she was my biggest support system for getting through my public speaking fear. I did a lot of good work on my own but she was by my side, like a safety net. I?m romanticizing the relationship and am grasping out for her in desperation which I?m afraid will drive her away. I?m in therapy and living sober but scared this will push me to relapse.
    Any help or thoughts are appreciated.
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    Sex Love & Relationships
    pofacedhoe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    so you dont enjoy being with her when you are with her but now that she isn't there you miss her

    so when are you most happy?

    when you say public speaking do you mean in front of large crowds or just actually talking in public in front of people in some normal everyday setting

    cos the answer to that question gives me great insight
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    Bluelighter CosmicG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Deep inside the Garden of Eden
    It was your idea to take a break man. At this point you should do the best you can to give her the space that you had originally asked for I guess. The fights you talk about seem petty. If she does end up giving you a second chance remember how you felt when she wasnt around at the possibility of losing her forever. If she decides it is in both of your best interests to drop the relationship then try to understand this and respect her wishes. Use what you learn from this and apply it to your next relationship. Try not to let it affect your sobriety...if she is thinking about it then maybe you have a shot. She might just be keeping you on the fence to see how you respond.
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    Were you her boyfriend or her butler? Wtf? Sorry, but you sound much better off without her. You deserve someone who treats you with respect and appreciates you in return.
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