• LAVA Moderator: Mysterier

Am I an asshole for having indoor cats?

Xorkoth

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Feb 8, 2006
Messages
65,043
So.... I have two cats, who I love very much. They're a mother and son, they're 12 and 13 years old. They're indoor cats. Where I used to live was a suburban area, where people pretty much had indoor cats and it was considered irresponsible to have outdoor cats. There was a big stray cat problem, in fact my girl cat was a stray who literally knocked on our door, super malnourished and very pregnant, and asked for help. I ended up with her and one of her babies (the others went to friends), and they're some of the loves of my life, we're very close.

The thing is, I moved to the moutains, and here everyone has indoor/outdoor cats. I live in a mountain house, and I have a balcony where they can go out on the roof and stuff. But, I don't let them out. But, they really want to go out. But the reasons I don't let them out are as follows:

- There is a dog who wanders the neighborhood who wants to kill my cats... she has broken all my screen doors trying to get through the glass inner doors to get my cats, she has literally bloodied her muzzle on the glass. I had to build a fence and gate just to keep this dog out
- My girl cat eats every plant she sees and a couple of years ago she ate some flowers that made her really sick and she had to be hospitalized, she has this weird thing with eating plants.
- My cats want to fight other animals


But they yowl at the doors to be let out. Am I an asshole for not letting them out? It's really bothering me lately. I love them so much, am I being overprotective or rational? They really want to be able to go explore outside... I feel like I'm imprisoning them kind of. They're a huge part of my life. Thoughts?
 
Cats live a lot longer when they're indoor cats. I personally believe you should keep cats indoors in most situations. I play with my 2 girls at least twice a day for about 30 min at a time and I make sure they RUN. If they're females, that's even better. Female cats have a much smaller area that they are programmed to roam.

Also, domestic cats are really destructive to the native bird population. They are indiscriminate hard-wired killers. They kill just for the fun of it, most of the time they don't even eat what they kill. I'd be pretty upset if my cats killed any of the birds that I worked so hard to attract to the area in the first place by planting specific flowers and loading feeders diligently. A few years ago all we had were the invasive sparrows, gulls and pigeons. This year I've already attracted red winged blackbirds, american goldfinches and some cardinals.

My cats get frustrated that they can't get at 'em but again, they're super destructive to the environment as non-native apex predators. It's better that they stay inside.

They're smart animals, you gotta keep them entertained. I have catnip and wheatgrass growing in random spots in the house. I also randomly hide treats all over the house for them to scavenge and eat and my dry food dispenser is a puzzle they have to solve for food to come out.
 
Last edited:
I live on a very busy road so my two boys are indoor as well. Even though there are quite a few out door cats around here I don't trust them. Not only is it a busy road but we're at an awkward bend near two busy cross streets. Too much danger for my liking. I love my babies too much!


You know what this thread needs don't you? BL cat pics!
 
I don't think you are being overprotective at all and you can imagine how bad you would feel if something terrible did happen. Cats don't need lots of exercise the way that dogs do but they do enjoy a bit of a run and a chase outside. Have you thought about taking them outside on a leash just to give them a taste of the outdoors?
 
I'm not a cat person but my family had one was I was a kid. There was a neighborhood tomcat who would sit outside our front window growling and waiting for us to let him out so he could fight him. Our little guy got his ass whooped frequently and eventually ended being killed by a car in the road. :( I believe part of being a responsible pet owner is keeping it out of harm's way.
 
Whether you choose to let them out or not, can you contact the dog warden to get the dog collected and prevent that damage?

I have a friend who taught his cats to go on the lead for walks. They were old too. Maybe something you could try? Otherwise maybe build a little cat area in your garden that they can't escape from?
 
I've been thinking about taking my boy cat out on a leash. My girl cat HATES having a collar on or a harness, she will figure out how to get out of them very quickly every time.

Well this has been refreshing... around here almost every single person I know with cats has outdoor cats. A friend's girlfriend told me I'm basically a captor and my cats have stockholm syndrome which I didn't appreciate. My girlfriend thinks I should let them outside too. They really, really want to go outside which is why it sucks. Here in the mountains it's very much the norm to have cats be indoor/outdoor which is very different from other places I've lived.
 
You can have mine if you want toothpaste, I don't meet their needy emotional needs!

Xorkoth, have they always been desperate to go out or only since you moved to the mountains?

I don't think anyone who loves their cats is an arsehole for keeping them inside, but it's a hard one to call as cats are hardwired to go out & hunt stuff & explore & generally suit themselves & I have no idea if cats that have grown up indoors will have the outside coping strategies that other cats have (I'm not even going to go agoogling to find out either)

I'm lucky that I've lived in the same place since mine were kittens many years ago & that I live on a street that isn't a through-road & they're used to the outside world

One of them used to follow me to the shop & round to a friend's house, up to a mile's walk away, but they generally don't stray further than a few houses away now
One of them wishes he was an indoor cat & didn't have to go outside to the toilet
I may treat him to a litter tray for his 15th birthday
 
You are not an arsehole. Cats csn be arseholes but they are so cute who cares.

They have always been indoors so cant really be trusted outside anymore but you can build a cat run.
 
It's best to keep them inside. I've had cats most of my life. I usually let my cats be indoor-outdoor cats. One of them ended up with kitty AIDS and although he lived quite a long time (~14 years), complications from it did eventually kill him. One also tangled with something vicious (probably a raccoon) and ended up having to have stitches on his head, and another suffered massive internal injuries from God only knows what. That one cost about 1500 shekels in vet/surgery bills. All in all, it's better for both the cat and you to keep them inside.
 
Xorkoth, have they always been desperate to go out or only since you moved to the mountains?

I don't think anyone who loves their cats is an arsehole for keeping them inside, but it's a hard one to call as cats are hardwired to go out & hunt stuff & explore & generally suit themselves & I have no idea if cats that have grown up indoors will have the outside coping strategies that other cats have (I'm not even going to go agoogling to find out either)

Just the mountains (but it's been 4/5 of their lives they've lived here, and they're 12/13 years old). And it wasn't even at first here. They get to hunt the mice that get in which they love, and sometimes lizards and moths get in too. My house is pretty open and is in the forest, and like I said the upstairs balcony and the roof from there is always open and accessible when it's warm enough. I plan to turn my large side deck area into a huge screen porch but haven't managed to do it yet. Then they could be out there too. But yeah, my girl cat was a stray, but she was half starved and came to us for help. Still I think she's probably got the necessary toughness, but the thing is she wants to eat every plant and flower and gets sick. And my boy cat has always been indoors.
 
I built a sort of lean-to funky greenhouse thing for my cats at the back of my house. I still let mine out in the day but we have coyotes and now mountain lions in our urban environment so they have to be kept in at night. The cat door leads into the enclosure and the cat can go in and out through a screen door during the day but then I shut it at night. Could you conceivably screen the deck?

I have had both indoor only and indoor/outdoor cats for many years. If I had an easier yard to fence (mine is terraced and is very irregular) I would use cat fencing in my yard and know they could not roam outside of that.

My sister is a cat veterinarian who has had many cats. She has this fencing and only one cat in 15 years has ever figured out how to thwart it.
 
I still let mine out in the day but we have coyotes and now mountain lions in our urban environment so they have to be kept in at night.
We have coyotes in the city as well. When I lived in Vermont I had to deal with fisher cats, nasty weasel-like critters that are mostly teeth and prey on small domestic pets and livestock. After I heard one screeching in the yard one night the cats had to come in at night. One of the cats I'm pretty sure was terrorized by one. She was gone for a day and a half and finally found her underneath a neighbor's patio and I could barely coax her out. The next summer when I brought her back to VT from Florida, she flipped out and ran upstairs and under the bed. She was clearly traumatized by something.
 
herby: Yeah, I am wanting to screen in my main deck area, I think that would be great although they'd want to go farther, but at least it would be nice for them and they'd get to hang out with me outside.

Yeah we have coyotes too. In fact one night my boy cat got out when I was having a birthday party at my house, and he was gone all night, and coyotes were yowling all around in an ever-closer circle. I stayed up all night calling for him and trying to keep the coyotes farther away with my voice, he finally came back when the sun came up, I was so scared.
 
- My girl cat eats every plant she sees and a couple of years ago she ate some flowers that made her really sick and she had to be hospitalized, she has this weird thing with eating plants.

If only she could have read and typed stuff on Bluelight!

Am I an asshole for not letting them out? It's really bothering me lately. I love them so much, am I being overprotective or rational? They really want to be able to go explore outside... I feel like I'm imprisoning them kind of. They're a huge part of my life. Thoughts?

I don't think so. My girl is an indoor cat, we live in mountanous region too, and there are tons of different wild animals around that simply have no experiece dealing with non-native predators, and many of these native animals are endangered. It would irresponsible for me to let my cat out there killing everything she can.

There is also the (perhaps misguided) concern for her safety with roads/cars/dogs/etc, but the primary reasoning is concern for other animals. She kills the shit out of many insects/spiders and stuff that happen to find themselves inside. She flayed the skin off a living cockroach once, lord have mercy. 8o

I made her a little run with a caged ramp from a laundry window out/down into a bigger enclosure that she could climb about in and watch/intereact with stuff, but she mainly likes to sit just outside the window and sleep in the sun.

As long as your cats have a bit of fun with you everyday, you're good. Toys and play, and lots of cuddling + food = happy kitty. <3
 
Yeah they don't want to play much anymore, they're 12/13 years old. But lots and lots of cuddling and interaction. My boy cat spends all day hanging out with me and my girl cat runs to the bed when it's bedtime and snuggles all night, it's her favorite thing. My boy cat Stripey is so funny, he's the weirdest cat, my girl and I joke that he's my familiar (fantasy wizard nerd reference). He is obsessed with me, he doesn't really care about anyone else much, but he literally always wants to be in physical contact with me, and if possible, touch my face with his face. He gets really jealous when I pay attention to other things. He didn't like my girl at first because I would snuggle with her instead of him. But now he loves her... I think. When I'm not home and she's at my house, she says he doesn't make a peep and doesn't really interact with her, but as soon as I walk in the door he's talking up a storm. He's the most vocal cat I've ever met, he has such an expressive voice and he's super loud. He can become extremely annoying but he loves me so much and I love him so much. We had a love at first sight moment when I first met him at 2 weeks old, it was really powerful, and he took his longest walk of his life across the room, climbed up my leg and chest, and nuzzled my face. I literally cried a little. :)

The funniest thing is when me and my girl are in bed, we'll be snuggling, and have our faces almost touching. And Stripey will come up, walk above our heads, and settle down between our heads and put his face just a tiny bit closer to mine than hers is. We'll move our faces closer and he'll move the same amount closer. It's a competition to him. =D
 
Last edited:
Top