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Asked for help with my addiction but I think I made the wrong choice!!!!!!!!

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ErikEverhard

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 21, 2015
Messages
31
Guys I suffer from manic depression, sever anxiety, BI-polar, OCD, GAD, and have been on antidepressants and benzos for the last three years. Well it has take almost three years before they found a combination that seems to work. Well while they were "testing" on me I started self medication with pain pills, and cocaine every now and that, but the majority of the past year pain pills. I went to my doctor explained the situation what led me to the pain pills addiction through myself trying to overcome the depression. Anyway I took a piss test to verify I was abusing opiates so I could get a referal, well I swear I honestly do not remember doing any cocaine in that time frame but I guess I did, because it came back positive for cocaine also.
So now he will no longer prescribe me any type of benzo. No I am scared to death because of my extreme anxiety and panic attacks that I have.
I would not say I am hooked on the xanax because I am prescribed to take 4 blues a day. Some days I go with just taking one, it just depends how bad my anxiety is.

My question is what can I do? Can I go to another doctor and let him see the medications that I am on, and have him write me a script for xanax? I start next week on suboxen to hopefully help with the pain pills, but I will still be left with the severe anxiety which frightens the living hell out of me if they take away the xanax.





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Find an addiction medicine specialist or a psychiatrist if you can afford one.
 
Keep this thread updated as you go through the uncharted territory. Lots of folks here have experience with subs as well as the other issues you are dealing with. We can support each other!
 
Although benzos are good when used for short term or as needed when there are enough time between doses (daysor weeks) they really aren’t good for anyone when taken daily for years.

They start to cause rebound anxiety after the dose wears off and leads to a vicious cycle of taking more and in my opinion the only way to get rid of that is to taper slowly out and dealing the anxiety with other ways such as less addicting drugs and behavioral therapy, mindfullness and such.

Atleast here in Finland and from what I’ve read from ASAM Principles of Addiction Medicine for how the practices are in the states I would say that it is hardly unlikely for any Dr. to continue prescribing benzos to anyone receiving Suboxone.

I have bipolar and PTSD and I can manage my anxiety attacks without benzos as well as generalized anxiety after going to therapy where I learned how practice mindfullness based methods. Also those attacks have decreased in frequency and magnitude after practising meditation daily. I use zazen meditation but there are plenty of other meditation styles available as well as mindfullness based relaxing techniques.

Also accepting the situation is a big step in recovery and gives some comfort when you are not struggling to get back the drugs you are highly unlikely to be prescribed again.

Suboxone might also help with the anxiety as well as with depression but ymmv.

Good luck and you are not alone in this.
 
I suffer from BPD, Depression, GAD/Anxiety. I've been through many doctors trying to find the right mixture of medications. I'm also on methadone which I heard can act as a mood stabalizer, which sometiems works and sometimes it doesn't. I used to have many panic attacks when I Was younger. IDK if it's because I have abused meth & coke annd it sort of ruins your brain, or if it's just been there. I've always been an anxious kid all the way through my adulthood. but it seems it gotten worse after doing drugs.
But what I realize now that in order for me to have a normal life, I must include klonopin in my medication regimen. Psychiatrists always try to say that SSRIs will work on anxiety and panic attacks as well. it sometimes does diminish the anxiety, but it doesn't completely wipe it away. I then started taking valium about 6 years ago, and was on it for 5 years and was pretty happy and normal. it was when I decided to get off of it that I felt my mental state completely turn to shit. anxiety led to paranoia and I was more depressed and delusional even. But little by little, I was prescribed anti-psychotics, which worked short term on the delusions. but not on the anxiety. So I decided to go back on benzos. So I had to visit a few doctors to find one I fit with best.
No one knows you better than you. don't buy what these doctors tell you. meds don't work on everyone the same, you have to find what works best for you, sometimes that might include a mix of different meds as I'm currently doing, or just one med. they only see you for the half hour you're in your office. then they don't really care about you. if you want to have a life and be happy, you have to find the doctor who will understand exactly what you need and stick with him.
 
I agree about the benzos, I have told my doctor that I did not want to take 4 a day. I wanted them almost to be used as emergency pills for when my panic and anxiety gets out of control, but she was having none of that. She said you need 4 a day. I ran out early one time and the 2 or 3 days I was out was pure hell. Anyway I go see my doctor 4/17 and I will let you guys know how it goes.
 
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