where oh where is Molly?

[justahigh]

Havent written in here for a while now, as I have kept relatvely healthy and incident free now that Im off the oxy's, (about a year now). These days Im just having a bit of cold every now and then.
Ive turned inward to ask myself the questions Id previously been asking of the world, and in doing so have turned to meditating to deepen this. Ive also been doing lots of research on kriy yoga and watched a few lectures in India, given by some professors about Kundalini.

As hard as Ive tried, and then as little as poosible too, I have been unable to wake or rouse my Kundalin. I am so desperate to feel this connection, to the devine, to be "one" with all but I just cant reach this elusive state.
Much of the research likens Kundalin awakening to being on MDMA. This is the one and only drug Ive never tried, and worse, no-one I know who does cold, hot or choof knows where to get it from.

I dont really think I want the street kind, but if you have had a spiritual awakening on the street kind please let me know, I was thinking more along the lines of the pharmaceutical kind, the one psychiatrist will Rx to patients with PTSD, someone like me although I don't see a psychiatrist any more.

Im not asking for specific sources here bluelight watchdog, I'm just putting it out there one, to see what people's experience is, in relation to MDMA and spirituality and two, whether I would have any luck seeing a psychiatrist for that, isnt there some trials going on with MDMA and PTSD?

Thanks guys.

 

[indigoaura]

I have absolutely had spiritual experiences on MDMA where I felt one with all life and totally at peace. I could understand the idea of eternity.

It is possible on "street" MDMA, if you are lucky enough to get pure, clean, MDMA and not bullshit. And there is a lot of bullshit out there. The current state of affairs is...not the best, imo, as far as street MDMA goes. I would not consume anything without sending it in to a lab, and even then, there is some reason for skepticism just due to variations in quality.

As for the studies, as far as I know, they are only accepting people with PTSD into those studies, and I think the requirements are pretty specific and rigorous. In other words, I don't think you could fake it and get in.

 

[Tranced]

MDMA certainly opens your heart, with permanent positive effects, there's no doubt about that.

It's cool to see somebody so deeply into what you are still being open to MDMA. IME people tend to become closed off to such experiences and label them as inherintely bad, which to me seems like such an obvious play of ego, but whatever.

Whether 'actual' street MDMA differs to pharm MDMA is a matter of discourse, it is highly contested in other threads but I'm yet to see any solid evidence beyond anecdotal speculation. Whilst I know the power of ketamine isomers through the differences between racemic and s+ and know similar stuff could go on with MDMA, I am personally yet to see a difference. To me, MDMA is MDMA and has been since September 2002. Back then people were saying it's not as good as it used to be. People seem to say the same thing about vastly different eras which IMO is a red flag. I encountered my first MDMA crystals in 2004~ and 130mg has always done the job no matter what. Heard of some weak batches but always managed to avoid them.

There are a lot of empathogen rc's now though - if you want mdma amd cant be reasonably sure about your source then make sure you get it lab tested from energy control or ecstasy data. I'd never buy from some guy directly off the street, but I've always been well connected through electronic music.

Your chances of getting in a MAPs study are very low. They're not doing any kundalini studies. Slightly sarcastic but true! Your chances are actually zilch. Same goes for a psychologist.

1. They wont exactly be advertising on craiglist (highly illegal, will face prison/loss of license)
2. Why would a psychologist give you MDMA for Buddhist training (unless they were incredibly chill). Either way, that would be off the streets.

 

[G_Chem]

To be fair Tranced, there's a decent amount of evidence that synthetic routes have changed in correlation with anecdotal reports of changes in effects. I will also agree however that due to MDMA's loss of magic, it's hard to know (sometimes..) whether it's that or an actual change in product. I believe enough evidence has been presented in the later part of the "What's wrong with MDMA today?" thread to start thinking this is more than magic loss. I'd agree isomers aren't likely a huge issue but impurities probably are..

I too almost never (2-3 times, never wasted my money though) come across bad product but it doesn't mean I'm going to write off the (probably) 100's of reports of there being a change. Just like your writing off LTC which wasn't really even a thing until post 2010.. There has never before been such a huge huge amount of these complaints and back in the day when someone would complain it'd be matched with 10 people saying "it's all you guy." Nowadays there's 1 person saying it's still the same to every 10 saying it's changed.

Sorry for that off topicness.. But to you OP, yea there's a snowballs chance in hell you'd find what your looking for sadly we just aren't quite at that stage yet. Good news is you can have a life changing experience on "street" MDMA.

I've had 2 experiences in particular that I would claim as such. Its funny you bring up Buddhism as my first experience I remember thinking to myself "monks spend their whole lives trying to attain the peace I felt, I got to it off two pills with a Mercedes logo..". I remember telling people I could die at that very moment and I'd be happy to go, I realized (deep down in my core) what it was to love people unconditionally. It was beautiful. Had a similar experience years later with the San Pedro mixed in, love for all of humanity that stuck with me for months after (probably never left..)

As indigo said, it seems these days sourcing product with these "life changing" qualities is becoming harder and harder to find. But it seems things may be changing for the better based on reports.

-GC