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I f**ked up

N2theavenue

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 1, 2018
Messages
34
So I've been using kratom to come off an oxy addiction. I've done so well with it and have not taken a pill in weeks, until yesterday. A couple kind of fell into my lap and I took them. It went horribly, the kratom must have knocked my tolerance to nothing so 1 perc 10 at about 10 am and another at noon made me so sick, and I was sick all day. Felt like i was going to puke, head ache, the whole too many opiates nine yards.

Anyway, I don't really have a question, just needed to vent since there's no one in my real life i can talk to. I don't want to take a pain pill ever again. I just wish my brain would take the hint.
 
Good luck with kicking the habit bro. Its tough, i know. You can do it. Everyone slips up, it happens. Just stick with the kratom and you'll be fine. Hopefully one day, you wont need anything.
 
Hey... I'm a good boy compared to 8 months ago.
I copped a couple the other day and I do not feel bad one bit (prolly 10 opis of varying strains in 8 months? = compared to aprx 1440-2400 [6-10 pills a day <-- just in opi]). Yeah... I choose not to feel too bad about that.
Never say never: There is a time and place for everything. To do so is to prepare oneself for the worst type of failure (any many end up considering suicide or worse from this). Just not worth it. Be thankful and feel blessed for what you do have: Don't focus on the "short-comings" or "failures" as they are mostly illusions to lure one to darker places.
The above is just the opinions of an ancient addictive mind/soul but I do hope to see you make it... too many have not.
Love always
 
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Thanks for the replies guys. Really means a lot. I've not slipped again since the other day. My boyfriend, who can take a pain pill here and there without a problem asked me to go get us a couple and I told him no. That I didn't want to take them anymore. About the closest I've come or will come to admitting to him I have a problem.

I've done this before, I cold turkeyed off 95 mg of methadone just because I was done and didn't touch another pill for years, thought I was in the clear and could chip, how wrong I was. Difference is though, I had support that time. My ex husband got me through it. Now i can't tell anyone, and that makes it harder than anything. I'm rambling now, point is I did good today. And the horrible feeling I got from the percs the other day is something I'm holding onto. That wasn't fun and I have no desire to repeat it.

Am I 3 days off pain pills now? Or do I get to keep my 3 weeks? I don't know.
 
Meh...lets go with, you get to keep your three weeks!

I agree with PtahTek.
 
Thanks painfulone. I'm very nervous now, just found out I'm pregnant and while much wanted, I'm afraid this is going to throw a wrench into everything. I don't know if I can still take the kratom. I don't know if I've already hurt the baby. I don't know what to do. Kind of panicking actually.

It's great motivation though to get clean and stat clean from everything, but all I've read about withdrawals causing miscarriages and with my history of miscarriages I'm afraid to just stop the kratom. Even though thats what I would like to just go ahead and do.
 
You can do it!
Congratulations! I know you are totally freaking right now but this is a true blessing.
It will give you a chance to really get healthy and you will have a beautiful, healthy baby!
I love being a mom! I had so much fun with my little girl! Now my grown young woman!
This is a good thing. Seriously.

I really don't think you have hurt the baby. Nope. Just get to a good doctor as soon as possible and get some help.
I don't know anything about Kratom but I have seen a thread in "other drugs" about a woman in your same situation.
See what she has to say.

Smile. Everything is going to be alright okay?
 
Thank you! I wish I could just be excited instead of being so worried! I have 3 boys already. But it took 6 years to get my 3 year old baby. 3 miscarriages and $thousands$ in fertility treatments, the whole 9 yards.

That's what landed me in the predicament I'm in now. I want another baby so badly and so does my fiance. I wanted to get clean and then get pregnant though. I figured we would have to go back to the clinic and take the meds and what not before we would get pregnant again, never in a million years expected it to just happen naturally.
 
Hi N2 and welcome to Bluelight! There are a few other pregnant BLers on here right now--you all should start a pregnancy support thread!<3 I tried looking up information on kratom and pregnancy and got the same results every time--very few studies have been done but the advice was always the same: stop as soon as possible. Do you think the pregnancy itself will be enough of a motivator to pull you through the hard times (cravings, possible PAWS, etc)?


Here is an older Bluelight thread on the topic.

Here is a Reddit kratom community thread.
 
Thanks guys. I found out yesterday that the pregnancy is not viable, so now I'm waiting and hoping to miscarry naturally. I'm devastated, blaming myself, and I've never wanted to just be high so badly before in my life.

But I'm not going to. I'm going to get healthy, taper off of the kratom and get pregnant when my body is in better shape. This sucks.
 
Thanks guys. I found out yesterday that the pregnancy is not viable, so now I'm waiting and hoping to miscarry naturally. I'm devastated, blaming myself, and I've never wanted to just be high so badly before in my life.

But I'm not going to. I'm going to get healthy, taper off of the kratom and get pregnant when my body is in better shape. This sucks.

I'm sorry, N2. You will certainly be in mourning for the life you had already begun to make room for in your heart but for that life itself it sounds like nature will run its course. Getting off the kratom and concentrating on your health and your kids is probably the best way to nurture yourself right now. I know it isn't easy when you are feeling such deep sadness and loss.<3
 
the miscarriage started today on it's own. Just a few hours before the deadline of me having to get more bloods drawn and possibly a dnc. So that's good, but seeing it start broke me a little.

I'm currently fucked up on 40 mg of ambien. Just because I needed to forget for a min. but have stayed clear of any opiates. and still want to try a taper plan with my kratom.

I honestly had every intention of staying on it for a long time, but not after this. I'm going to taper with it, but keep it nearby so that if I do feel I might relapse, I'll have my prn crutch on standby.
 
I am so sorry to hear this news. I send you a very warm, long hug.

Life is full of ups and downs. Sometimes the worst things end up to be for the best. You just cannot see it at the time.

Be comforted. You can get your health renewed and try again after you have gotten yourself (and your fianc?) off the opiates and stuff. It would crush me more to see a baby (especially my baby) going through opiate withdrawal. What a horrid thing.
For me, that would be the absolute worst and I would not be able to forgive myself.

At least you don't have to worry about that or about getting off meds while being pregnant, or staying on them so as not to cause too much stress on yourself and the baby. If the pregnancy was not viable then something was not right. Happens all the time. It is natures way. It is nothing you did. I feel things very strongly and I feel and know it was from nothing you did.

Peace, Love, and support to you my sister. Be well. Take care of you and the wonderful children you already have.
You will get another chance at this. Much better to do after you have gotten yourself healthy anyway!
 
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