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It takes me forever to cum infront of other females

Jabberwocky

Jabberwocky

Frumious Bandersnatch
Joined
Nov 3, 1999
Messages
84,998
Have copped the same crap again.

Come across a female who is keen.

We strip naked, I get aroused. My dick gets sucked for a few minutes. I then offer to return the favour. Am still hard.

We begin having sex 20 minutes later still can't blow my load.

Have had this since my first sexual encounter when I was 15.

I am 33 now.

Jacking off on my own I can be done in 5 minutes.

Any suggestions?
 
Hi,

Would you mind telling us the details of your first sexual encounter when you were 15? Perhaps, it will enable us to give you some insight into why you are having issues with your performance when you are with females.
 
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Jacking off on my own I can be done in 5 minutes
Click to expand...

Maybe this could be the source of the problem. You a keen masturbator by any chance?
 
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A girl came over to my house.

She performed fellatio for 30 minutes and even then I was anxious.
 
Masturbation can definitely be a prime cause of this. If your body's expecting to be able to cum on demand, via a very specific method (your hand), it's going to cause problems.

Would kegel exercises help with stuff like this?
 
noonoo said:
Have copped the same crap again.

Come across a female who is keen.

We strip naked, I get aroused. My dick gets sucked for a few minutes. I then offer to return the favour. Am still hard.

We begin having sex 20 minutes later still can't blow my load.

Have had this since my first sexual encounter when I was 15.

I am 33 now.

Jacking off on my own I can be done in 5 minutes.

Any suggestions?
Click to expand...

if you watch porn dont watch it for a week, i found this worked wonders

also its hard to make me cum so if i know i'm gonna get sex no wanking for a few days and then maybe after 20 mins they make me cum

the only way is to reprogram yourself 1 into not needing visual stimulation by stop watching porn (try masturbating without porn and focus on the pleasant sensations) and 2 just stop orgasming as much (go a few days without a wank) and then it will build up making the tipping point more likely
 
pofacedhoe said:
if you watch porn dont watch it for a week, i found this worked wonders

also its hard to make me cum so if i know i'm gonna get sex no wanking for a few days and then maybe after 20 mins they make me cum

the only way is to reprogram yourself 1 into not needing visual stimulation by stop watching porn (try masturbating without porn and focus on the pleasant sensations) and 2 just stop orgasming as much (go a few days without a wank) and then it will build up making the tipping point more likely
Click to expand...

Exactly. You need to retrain your body to not want stuff in five minutes. It's too different. Google nofap and.or get an app like habit bull. It will ask you every night if you did or didn't do a certain habit (you can choose from loads).
 
Dear Noonoo,


Well, I am going to read between the lines here.........


In your first sexual encounter at 15, it sounds like you did not have intercourse, but just had oral sex performed on you. You admit that you were anxious and that could be why you did not cum. It would not be unusual to not cum in this situation, especially because it was your first time having some kind of sexual activity.


You did not say whether you had a relationship with the first woman at 15, it sounded like you did not. Your problem might have something to do with the fact that you are not in a relationship with the women you are having sexual activity with. I get the impression that you are having hookups and no real relationships with people you are being intimate with and you cannot cum, which is reminiscent of your first sexual experience.


People are not sex machines and there is a mind/body connection to sexual activity. It also appears from what little you said there may also not be adequate foreplay between you and the women you have sex with to feel close enough to feel comfortable to let yourself go. In addition, If you are having actual sexual intercourse with the women you are with and you do not cum and it is unprotected, this might also have a negative effect on being able to climax as well.


My advice to you would be to develop a relationship with a woman, get close to her without having any sexual activity, with the exception of kissing, and let the relationship unfold for some period of time so that you feel close and have emotional feelings toward her. When you do decide enough time has past so you both feel ready for more intimate sexual activity, go slowly and let that develop as well before you proceed to actual intercourse. Before having intercourse, make sure it is protected sex or that you both have been tested first, have adequate foreplay so that you are both fully aroused and then have intercourse. I would be surprised if this would not clear up your issue.


Good luck with this issue. If this does not change things for you, I would see a mental health professional.
 
It's all psychological. I was there, man. I finally had to decide what I wanted. Fantasy or reality. I went for reality and it meant total and complete abstinence from porn and masturbation. To this day it's very difficult and a struggle but I know that I can't have both and reality is a million times better than fantasy. You're all fucked up but you can fix it and you can fix it quickly. 30 days of no porn or masturbation and you'll be a firehose of cum.

It won't be easy but it'll be worth it.
 
noonoo said:
Have copped the same crap again.

Come across a female who is keen.

We strip naked, I get aroused. My dick gets sucked for a few minutes. I then offer to return the favour. Am still hard.

We begin having sex 20 minutes later still can't blow my load.

Have had this since my first sexual encounter when I was 15.

I am 33 now.

Jacking off on my own I can be done in 5 minutes.

Any suggestions?
Click to expand...
I think I read at some point you were on antidepressants? That might be it right there. I had problems in that area after first starting Celexa.
 
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