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Mental Health Ptsd sexual abuse emdr therapy

SaintCecelia

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 10, 2018
Messages
56
I woke up this morning and I am FUCKING PISSED RAGED PISSED OFF WANT TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ANYTNING. I AM PISSED OFF! It?s not fair it?s not FUCKING FAIR! None of this is FUCKING FAIR! Where is my justice? Did I fool myself? I started running away at the age of six and no one was there to help me. I thought if I leave it all behind, do the right thing, go to college, be what they said you couldn?t be, don?t be a statistic-I thought everything would be ok! AND ITS NOT FUCKING OK! Was it all for nothing? All I can hear is my adopted Bitch mother laughing, saying you are nothing but a ungrateful whore and I told you, the only thing you can hope for in life is to use your looks and get a man in power.
Over the years I got therapy as the symptoms came, fixed it then got back out kicked ass like a good soldier should. But here I sit like a train wreck 47 years scattered for everyone to see. My rage is front page, a natural disaster. I don?t even know who I am in this anger and rage? IM JUST SO FUCKING PISSED OFF!
 
Have you gone to see a professional?
Sexual abuse is not something you get over but you can come to terms with it

I too suffered as a child at the hands of a sick depraved human being

I got help only in my 20s but at least I did.

Being angry is normal but don't let it consume you
 
Yes I am in EMDR therapy right now. Waiting to get into an intensive PTSD inpatient program for women. Just omg all this anger from no where just rises up in me. Like where did it all go for 47 years? I’m just pissed off. I do not like waking up pissed off. Now that I quit Kratom my dreaming is coming back. Nightmares, dreams, sleep walking, talking, screaming in my sleep. Sometimes I remember them, at times I do not, but it’s exhausting and it’s back. This is the fire and I am walking through it regardless.

Idea-today I will start developing a comic character from this experience! Keep adding to the character as I go through all this! I like this!
 
Idea-today I will start developing a comic character from this experience! Keep adding to the character as I go through all this! I like this!

Are you at all into graphic novels? If so, these two might interest you:

My Favorite Thing is Monsters by Emil Feris

Stitches
by David Small
 
YES YES YES! Share anything ARTISTIC you love! I will look them up! Thank U! I’ve been stuck on Pain Killer Jane. They had two failed attempts at bringing her on the big screen. They are at it again this time with Jessica Chastain as Jane! OMG I CANT WAIT TO SEE WHAT SHE DOES WITH THE CHARACTER! What do you like about those two novels?
 
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