LSD Abuse and Consequences...Need help ASAP

[Danster99]

Hello everyone,

I am 18 years old and I go to college in my state (SC). To give some background info, I started smoking weed junior year of high school. Quickly transpired to addiction and was doing it 3 or 4x a day. Senior year, I decided weed wasn?t enough. Tried mushrooms, had a good trip and moved on. Then I tried LSD. First few times I had taken it, I was by myself in my room hella late at night. Each time was fine. Eventually I was doing it too often...I did it once a week for like 3 weeks or so and a few times I did it 2x a week. Had a really bad trip, thought about suicide and it scared me shitless. Stopped using LSD after that. Months later, my first semester of college begins. I am reintroduced to LSD and start using very often. Atleast once a week, many weeks 2x for 10 weeks straight. At the end of my stint I had a really bad trip. Worse than any other. All I wanted to do was die. In complete honesty that was almost my entire trip. Suicidal thoughts. Now, I have them everyday. All day long. Months after my last trip. I get this feeling that my entire life is meaningless. Overcomes me. I also can?t stop thinking about acid. All day long I?m wondering if I?m tripping right now or not. Yes, I still smoke weed daily. Once or twice. I stay away from it for the majority of the day, only do it normally at night so I can fucking sleep. Withdrawals from weed are serious and fucking rough (to me). I would love for someone on here to give me some advice, what to do, where to go from here. I want to go back to normal, the person I was before.

 

[AcidKid]

Best advice possible: Stop smoking weed. You need a break from psychedelics, they're causing underlying issues you haven't had problems with thus far to become unmanageable. Weed still has mild psychedelic properties, and if the issues occurred because of two bad LSD trips, it stands to reason weed may also start causing the same issues if not on a lesser level than full blown bad trip. I've personally seen it happen before actually. Also, and I say this fully understanding everyones biochemistry is different and people experience differing subjective withdrawal effects on different drugs, but using weed withdrawal as an excuse to continue smoking when it could be causing you harm is a ridiculous excuse. Your not consuming so much weed that this should even be an issue. Psychological dependence is different, try using melantonin to goto sleep at night, or an antihistamine like diphenhydramine in benedryl or dramamine. Also exercise is helpful for sleeplessness, anxiety, depression, apetite, you name it. Worst case scenario you could perhaps see a doctor and get a prescription for benzos or ssri's if it becomes a long term problem but that should be your last option for sure.

 

[Danster99]

It was not just two bad trips, it was all mixed in man I just cannot place it correctly. Taken acid atleast 30 times. You are right, weed is probably causing my underlying issues. Thing is, I get those suicidal thoughts when I don?t have pot, I feel worthless. Like a loser. it?s really hard to explain. I want to live yet these thoughts distress me so much that I have posted here. Thank you for your input. It might seem like I have an excuse for everything, but I find it hard to eat well and exercise often. My campus? food is straight ass. I also hate going to gym, I feel like everyone is staring at me (anxiety issues). I do have hobbies like skateboarding that take place of that. I believe what I am experiencing is a mixture of weed and lsd abuse. I?m incredibly hesitant to self diagnose but I know when something is wrong. Depersonalization along with very mild HPPD (used to be much worse) and depressive episodes. I am going to see a school psychiatrist, see if I can figure it out without meds. Honestly, just posting on here makes me feel better. This is really, really distressing me and just venting helps so much.

 

[GaryGlisten]

AcidKid is right. You need to stop smoking weed. Cannabis will keep on bringing you back to the confused headspace that is causing you to have all these negative feelings. You need to take time out to straighten out your mind and regain your confidence and self esteem and that won't happen if you keep smoking weed. You need to not give in to peer pressure. There's always going to be someone who doesn't understand what you're going through who is going to make out like you're chicken for not taking a bong hit or whatever. Those people will fuck you up.

 

[Danster99]

Damn man. I knew weed was an issue I just didn?t know it was what is keeping me in this negative head space, as you said. Truth is, it ain?t just peer pressure it?s more like I have money and I just want to get high to shake this boredom that I feel. Money allows me to have a constant supply. I know people have it much worse than me. Some are addicted to really hard stuff and I?m over here complaining about pot. Yeah I know how it looks, but it?s the truth. I found my vice. Everyone has one. I?ve done many other drugs that are highly addictive and weed is just the one that fucks with me real hard. I don?t like most other drugs, weed is the best hands down. I like Xanax, taken it many times, but I don?t love it like weed. I?ve done acid a lot, shrooms, hydros, oxys, adderall, cocaine nothing is even comparable to how amazing weed is. I guess that?s just me tho? Thank you guys for helping me out. It might not seem like much but you are really helping me. Gotta cut the grass somehow

 

[herbavore]

It's good that you are realizing that boredom (and maybe feeling unfulfilled?) is the real problem facing you. Weed is something that you are used to doing to temporarily relieve the boredom but as you can see it isn't sustainable. So what could you do to address the boredom? I have found that whenever my life is prescribing to me what I have to do--rather than me calling the shots for my life--I am more susceptible to all sorts of bad habits because I am not feeling fulfilled. Interestingly, it is often when you get out of your own headspace by doing things for others when you feel most at ease with yourself.