I can?t piss when someone?s watching and i?m going to non secure because of it, help!

[herbavore]

I bet you are counting the days, Yael. Where will you go when you get out? Will it be a supportive environment?

 

[ShroomySatori]

I also can't pee when someone is watching except for occasionally on GABA drugs. For me I'm not consciously afraid to at all, I just literally can't, it won't happen no matter what I do. For me it's rooted in early grade school experiences where I was tormented in the bathroom while trying to pee in urinals, and then when I started using the stalls so I'd be in a private space they made fun of me for that, too and would bang on the walls and shit. To this day I have to be alone or at least blocked off from view to pee, it's extremely annoying. I spent the night in a holding cell one time (for underage drinking when I was going to be 21 the next month 8)) and I had to pee SO BAD but the guy in there with me was all tweaked out and stared at me constantly so I just slept (since I was super drunk) and the next morning my bladder hurt bad, it was pretty fucked up.

Man, sorry to here that it is so bad for me I will evaluate a workplace based on whether they have a private washroom and my productivity will be impacted by that. I have this problem too, it is rooted in having a lack of self confidence from being stupid and unsuccessful with women and probably childhood abuse I don't want to think about but just did. I literally can't too. It is very irritating, even with GABA drugs I can't. It's just like something I can't do. I like to go outside in some bush first of all and if I need to use a restroom, I always have headphones now and close my eyes but seriously fuck urinals I'm not pissing beside someone or risking it that's insane to me. Only time I don't have this problem is around a girlfriend and nobody else. The best is getting deep into the forest but the worst is being stuck somewhere, with no real way of getting away from your friends and when drinking is involved it can be really miserable being distracted by that.
To OP I'd recommend carrying around headphones, closing eyes and envisioning like being home alone in your own washroom. This allows me to go at hot yoga place, otherwise it would be awful since I am drinking so much water there. Although once I stopped a bus on a way to a snowboarding trip to take a piss on the side of the bus. I was like a minute or 2 out there, and received a round of applause upon entering the bus as it was pulled over on the side of a major highway. It was so damn funny, I would be proud of myself but I had been fidgeting in my seat for like an hour after drinking soooo much beer with my buddy right before getting on this long bus ride. Figured they would have a washroom on board... nope. Funny stuff to me right now but I could only do that cause I was about to explode, I went to the driver and was like man this is an emergency can you stop the bus? Was like cheap pitchers at lunch day or something I had at least 12 brews in me and my buddy who wasn't going puked all over the downtown sidewalk as I was heading to the bus. Then we proceeded to smoke weed all weekend and hit the slopes and party each night. Random tangent I guess, but I suppose life used to be fun and I forget that there used to be good times and friends to hang out with.

 

[lunchbox333]

This is similar to what I was going through when I was at a methadone clinic. They had monthly monitored UAs and I literally couldn?t pee if someone else was watching. On UA days they wouldn?t dose you until you pissed and I literally sometimes had to wait for hours and attempt 3-5 different times before I could actually pee. The funny part is the second the staff member would close the door it would pour like waterfalls I just psychosomatically syke myself out when it?s drug test related I guess . Maybe PTSD from the teenage years of getting drug tested and scared of your parents reaction to the results LOL

 

[Yael133l]

Yes, i was.

 

[Yael133l]

I?m finally out of that program completely, and only went to non secure for 4 days. it wasn?t even that bad, it was literally just a house you stayed at with other people. I think the main problem i had was that i was getting myself worked up too much over drug tests, and thinking about the consequences of me not doing them while i was trying to which made me anxious as fuck. After i got out of non secure i could pee fine, although on a couple days it was hard to. i was literally filling my bladder up so much my urine was almost completely clear and it hurt ? i?m very happy that now that i?m out of the program it?s no longer supervised, which makes it a lot easier to go.

 

[DrewDogBaby209]

I have this problem at my methadone clinic sometimes because we have observed UA's too. Well my counselor just loves me and I love her and she arranged it where I can dose and come back and UA later that day but it has to be the same day.

I drink about 1/2 to 3/4 of a gallon of water... Wait until I have to go really bad then drive the 8 mins to my methadone clinic and then let her rip.

I've been there 2 1/2 years without any dirty UA's so they trust me. Because of the fact that they trust me now they just stand in the doorway instead of right next to me. I love my clinic so much especially my counselor she's the bomb and the sweetest woman I've ever met.

It's called paruresis and it's a real medical condition... Let them know that... Good luck!

 

[JK25]

I overcame this fear last year. A guy just came next to me on the grass in rehab, dicks out, he looked at mine, I looked at his and BOOM!!! for the first time ever I could take a piss with someone watching. Just felt like suck a normal manly thing to do.