• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT

TDS I Need So Much Help, Please Someone Read This

Hammer280 said:
Well after I ate things went the opposite direction then what I thought. As soon as I ate I felt tired and sleepy, but now I feel the symptoms coming back. Could it be that I take my meth orally? Because I was so close to sleep then out of nowhere the paranoia and meth bugs came back.
Click to expand...

That's fairly typical coming down off meth, regardless of your route of administration. Oral ingestion is one of the slowest to hit you thus it's one of the longest-lasting within your body. You'll likely go through that cycle a few times before you truly crash and burn; that is, just go to sleep and sleep for a good 12-18 hours. Right before bedtime, try taking your Ativan, then laying down and trying to concentrate on stopping the hamster wheel in your head for a few minutes. That should help you get some sleep. Once you get a decent night's sleep, things should look a bit brighter. You may have some depression, but that's just the natural reaction to coming down from stimulants. Good luck on going to the clinic--that sounds like a very positive step. It kind of sounds like you're really focused on getting a job to convince everyone around you that you're "OK." When in fact you don't really sound very OK. It may be that you should spend a little more time really focused on your recovery. Sometimes with this stuff it's all baby steps. As long as you don't stop or walk backwards, no matter how slow your movement forward is, you're going in the right direction. Brightest Blessings!
 
Hey man, have you tried any cocaine anonymous meetings? If you work the program properly it really works! You?ll never have to drink or use again as long as you follow as few simple spiritual rules
 
Personally I think rehabs are just glorified detoxes and don?t set you up for the outside world. I went into the priory rehab and came out madder than I went in. A detox could help you get out of the cycle but as soon as you get out I would suggest getting straight into c.a and working the program. It?s the only way I know of to overcome addiction and live a content, happy life, drug free!
 
I'm clean and sober for 34 days and an avid member of AA. If it weren't for me being honest with my parents I would probably be dead by now. I went to a full 30 day impatient program and thrived. Methamphetamine scared me straight. I now have a full time $20/hr job and an appartment because of my asking for help and transparency to everyone in and out of treatment.

Thank you all and MUCH love.

Anyone reading, don't do drugs, they wasted 5 years of my life.

Best regards.
 
That's so great! Good work, it's always awesome to see a thread like this end in a positive result. :) <3
 
To all the have posted here, I relapsed hard about 3 weeks ago now. Got hammered a few days in a row then had the worst most realistic hallucinating experience I have ever had. Long story short. .125g of methamphetamine was laced or cut with something out of this world. After 48hr of the absolute worst thing a human being could imagine, I loaded a 12g shotgun slug in a single barrel shotgun and proceeded to run out into the middle of the road planning to take my life. What saved me was when I turned to go outside I snapped back to reality and saw my mom standing there and just handed her the gun and said in tears and on me knees "I need to go to the hospital". Then I accepted that i was pink slipped and had to go to a psych ward for at least 72.

I haven't felt right at all since then, and the only thing that makes me feel half way normal is drinking. And yesterday and today... That led to meth use again. Luckily I didn't have a horrible time but I wouldn't say it was good by any means. I wasted 48hr just fucking around with useless shit on my phone.

Pretty much have been 100% alienated from my parents after the pink slip. They're ashamed of me and I can feel it in the air whenever I talk to either of my parents. So in the morning I'm going to my tiny shitty apartment broke, skipping another phone meeting, and just going to come down off this shit the hard way. Just laying down forever.

I don't intend on telling anyone where I'm going and at least I still have some of my integrity because now I can really say I'm an honest man for the first time in my life.

I needed to tell someone and I remembered I posted here a while back and got some good support.
Thanks for reading. Sorry if I wasted your time.
 
Hammer280 said:
To all the have posted here, I relapsed hard about 3 weeks ago now. Got hammered a few days in a row then had the worst most realistic hallucinating experience I have ever had. Long story short. .125g of methamphetamine was laced or cut with something out of this world. After 48hr of the absolute worst thing a human being could imagine, I loaded a 12g shotgun slug in a single barrel shotgun and proceeded to run out into the middle of the road planning to take my life. What saved me was when I turned to go outside I snapped back to reality and saw my mom standing there and just handed her the gun and said in tears and on me knees "I need to go to the hospital". Then I accepted that i was pink slipped and had to go to a psych ward for at least 72.

I haven't felt right at all since then, and the only thing that makes me feel half way normal is drinking. And yesterday and today... That led to meth use again. Luckily I didn't have a horrible time but I wouldn't say it was good by any means. I wasted 48hr just fucking around with useless shit on my phone.

Pretty much have been 100% alienated from my parents after the pink slip. They're ashamed of me and I can feel it in the air whenever I talk to either of my parents. So in the morning I'm going to my tiny shitty apartment broke, skipping another phone meeting, and just going to come down off this shit the hard way. Just laying down forever.

I don't intend on telling anyone where I'm going and at least I still have some of my integrity because now I can really say I'm an honest man for the first time in my life.

I needed to tell someone and I remembered I posted here a while back and got some good support.
Thanks for reading. Sorry if I wasted your time.
Click to expand...

U didn't waste anyone's time. I just read this thread now and I really hope u r doing well now. Keep being honest, go to ur AA & NA meetings. We all fall sometimes, but we have to pick ourselves back up and try again. Plz let us know how ur doing?
 
Hi, Hammer!

i just read your entire thread. Please try to let go of the shame...I think a therapist may help you do that. I have felt shame and I don’t think you should feel shame.

You are STRONG, Hammer. Relapses happen. Putting that shotgun down? That took STRENGTH, relapse or no relapse. Suicide destroys a family, in my experience....not relapses.

I relapsed, too, I’m a recovered alcoholic. Doing detox over again and telling my parent....it was hard. What helped me was to figure out why I was using.

My sibling, is a severe addict. Heroin, alcohol and meth are the DOC. He has been in treatment so many times, relapsed numerous times, felonies, etc. I MISS him...not sure where he’s at, but I’d give him a huge hug if I saw him I’d be over the moon if he was not using. I love him, using or not using.

Our dad was an alcoholic, too, and committed suicide. it was so painful.

I am sending positivity your way, Hammer. Please keep us posted and stay alive. You can do this and it doesn’t have to be 12-step, IME. You take care of you, ok?
 
Hammer??? I read through this whole thing and was on the roller coaster with you. I'm concerned did you make it back up? If your still here or anyone else whose reading this suicide feels like the only way out. Try to remember nothing lasts forever except death. So please don't make a permanent decision based on a temporary feeling..
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top