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Mental Health Cutting self mutilation

cj

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Nov 18, 2008
Messages
9,821
I've gotten bad into cutting over the last year. I just finished a session where I destroyed the inside of my arms with a razor blade. I love watching the cuts bleed. Watching the life run out of me. I feel so alive. Then I enjoy exchanging emotional pain with physical pain.

Anyone else do this?
 
Yes.

cj, I'm sorry to read about all you're going through lately. I'm struggling mentally especially badly the past 3 months.

I'm not taking my meds as I need to (due to needing a Dr in the town I'm new to Have a n appt w a psychiatrist this coming Fridau) on top of my drug abuse on top of my daughter going through serious health issues.

I have no support I'm really losing my shit.

Sorry to go off topic. Yes, cutting makes me feel the same way as you. You're in my thoughts cj.
 
Maybe next time, when you have that craving, just wait 5-10 minutes. Use that time to tell us on bluelight how you feel, or better yet, a close one.
 
I used to do this so the physical pain would take my mind off of what I was thinking at the time. Good thing I worked labor jobs so I could play it off as work accidents. I haven't cut myself in years but I self harm in a 'healthy' way by lifting heavy weights.

Now I want to get tattoos to cover up the scars but iono
 
Lifting weights is a great way to burn off that kind of steam! This is so long that you're not injuring yourself, of course. Starting low, then moving up slowly as you progress, is best. It takes a while for your body to register that it's supposed to add muscle, but it does. Great suggestion!
 
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