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(Mainly Meth / Variable Dose) - Experienced User - Lifelong Drug Encounters/History

Sufferingparker

Greenlighter
Joined
May 9, 2017
Messages
10
I have always craved the taboo lifestyle and wanted to belong to the counter-culture of drugs. I started smoking weed on November 25th, 2015, and within 4 months I was popping pills that I was stealing from family members, dropping Research Chems, selling my prescriptions, and doing anything I could get my hands on really. That landed me in rehab the first time. A month after I got out, I got kicked out of my dad's house and went to live with my mom, a meth-head of about 18 years.

I asked her to put me on it and she happily obliged. I was still doing anything I could find, including taking entire 10-strips of LSD at once. Then, I landed myself in jail for an assault while I was tweaking. It still wasn't enough. I got out, and my mom went in shortly after, so I had the house, the car, and a good amount of money to myself, so I called my junkie uncle over to have him shoot me up for the first time. I started taking shots as often as possible, doing anything I could to score. Next thing I know, my dealer is living with me. Once, I had about 8 or so tweakers in my house at once, all with their own baggies of shit, literally lining up for me to cook up their shot because, at 17, I could mix one better than they could in their years of use. At some point, I sold my body.

Then I got in a car wreck going to a deal in another city, and went to jail again. I was sentenced to complete rehab at a boys home in my state. I somehow got meth while I was in there, along with having my mother sneak in Vyvanse and other pills. I was there for almost 8 months, but signed myself out against medical advice and my PO's orders soon after I turned 18.

My dad won't take me in, and I'm not allowed to be with my mom until I'm off probation, which I have to complete another rehab to do, so I'm homeless and living out of hotels for now. I had some strangers over to my room over the past few days, and relapsed with them. Yesterday, I got put on a 2 week to 4 month waiting list for facilities in my state, but my judge ordered me to get in somewhere by April 3rd, so there's a high likelihood that I'll go back to jail on my next court date. I have about 6 sores/cysts in my mouth from jaw-jacking for the last 3 days, and I haven't eaten in about 4. I'm a homeless high school drop-out with a criminal history at age 18. Drugs have ruined my life, but I there's honestly only a few experiences that I would take back, most regarding selling myself.

That's the general story. I'll answer any specific questions you guys have, here or in my PM's
 
You are still so young so you do have time to turn your life around . Thats so sad that you have family that helped you get high and allowed it ; as a mother myself that is pretty much the lowest of the low to get high with your teenage son. So it looks like you never had any good examples around growing up . Try to get into a program or see if your father can help. Stay away from your mother and her friends .
 
Hey there, sorry you've had it so rough, sounds like substance abuse runs in the family. I can move this to The Dark Side forum if you'd like, you'll get a lot more responses there, but I can also leave it here if you'd prefer.
 
I abused drugs in my teens. I stopped and never looked back. You are aware of what the consequences are for what you are doing and yet being in the court system is not going to make your life any easier for the near future. I hope you don't have to go back to jail. It's obvious with the adults in your life that you have never had a reasonably healthy model for how to live a fulfilling adult life with moderate or no drug use. You've got a long fight ahead of you to reclaim your life but that is not bad news. Being in that fight--to reclaim your self for yourself--is what invigorates life. It's all the meaning there is! I know that everything right at this moment must look bleak and hopeless. But you are alive and it is never hopeless as long as you are breathing.<3
 
You still have a chance to turn this around. Its horrible what meth does to people. I used a few times, far and few between in my teenage years and 20. Some sporadic use at 24/25, but didnt have my first REAL run til 26. I am now addicted to meth and turning 27 in less than a month.

That isnt to say that i didnt have major drug and alcohol problems at your age though. Especially alcohol. I was full on boozehound.

Ive been in 5 long term treatments for my addictions. Endless hospitalizations. Endless contact with mental health staff. Ive been VERY fortunate in that i have no criminal record but thats as simple as being in the wrong place at the wrong time getting dope one day. Im kicking myself in the ass so hard for STILL being trapped like this and ive escalated to meth now too..

A lot of my friends growing up in certain towns wound up on meth in their teenage years and its really sad looking back to that. I went out to party and try the stuff out basically and already they were so gone, kind of like how I feel now. 7 years later a meth addict.

Its a very tough drug to stop. Ive managed to cope with other substances and get significant clean time at points but nothing has been like this. Its the constance.

Constantly up and doing this or that, rarely feeling even OK let alone having fun. Constant shit and constant bad scenes. Constantly running in circles. Im fighting and I always will to get off but this has been like no other drug I've ever become hooked on.

You are 18. There is a whole world of options and resources out there to help get you turning this around. Go to that rehab, but not to go live with your 18year meth addicted mom. Find youth shelters and social services. Housing options. There are programs to work on getting that high school out of the way too, when you're ready.

Please start fighting the fight to get off the dope and get yourself situated somewhere. Sober living houses are all around if youre willing to travel. Yes i realize youre in US and im CAN. These things exist there just as they do here i know for a fact. Especially for youth. Homeless youth, you have options. Go searching and seize the day. Dont fuck around for a decade like me.

Not that I didnt fight some too, but I couldve done better. I didnt start til my 20s. I didnt stick to it. Do it now.
 
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