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Biggest lie you ever told yourself to justify abuse?

That I dont have a real problem, I just like this version of myself better than sober, I work better, more attentive, improvements all around, 250 mg doses of hyrdo and oxy isn't that outlandish.

Truth is I can't remember what sobriety feels like at this point, I'm scared of the real me being a bigger disappointment than I am know.
 
"That miss IV'ing yesterday was SO unlike me, my technique is way better than that and I'm gonna prove it to myself right now....."
 
"Well i cant drink alcohol like everyone else, why cant i have something to relax at the end of the day, like everyone else?"
 
Pickledlemons said:
When I used meth on weekends. I convinced myself it was healthy because it got me out of the house and active.
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That's genius hahahaha

while on a hard coke month I found my self repeating several times that "the grams i'm buying today will be used to start discontinuation and quit for good"
 
1) I'll never get busted (I never did but I should have been)

2) This is the only thing in life that makes me feel good
 
The repeating process in my head
"I can't be sick at work, I'll wait until my days off"
But then, "I can't be sick on my days off, I have stuff to do, I'll just be sick at work this week" wash, rinse, repeat.
 
"It cant be that bad because i only dont feel depressed when im high on speed"
"No one will find out because no one will notice"
 
"It's fine....it's only on weekends."

Then one day a close friend tells me I look grey and I had lost 30lbs (from 160). Kicked me right out of it. The "it" being meth.
 
One more time before I get married will allow me to say goodbye to heroin and be sober during my marriage. I have been sober since that buy because I overdosed in my car and got drug court. Drug court probably saved my life and made my marriage work.
 
brickk said:
"I am here alone and I have nothing to do all day, so boring"

But ffs, if I am alone at home and I don't have a job, what am I supposed to do during the day?

*takes speed*
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Shame on you AT LEAST get addicted to a relaxing drug like opiates no offense but now can you do speed all day what do you do sit up straight 180 degrees wanking to hardcore porn get some class man get some pills..
 
Hey man opiates are defo more addictive I dunno if you know what mephedrone or mcat as it's called here is but I used to do that every weekend cus it would take away the social anxiety and make it so easy to talk to girls etc, anyway I knew people who snorted that shit all day, don't get me wrong though I think it's an amazing drug and it's the only stimulant I would take again just so I could take some codeine on the comedown and relive those days lol mephedrone has something special imo that other stimulants just don't have including coke.
 
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From next week I'll only shoot once a week, haha, big laugh. I tell my self it is for the pain, and to be honest, I have chronic nueropathic pain, from my feet to my dick and balls. But I way over do it, I know I take for other reasons (the high is so fucking good) but I started for pain. I can try kid myself every time that I have a reason, but I'm just a full blown addict. Would I do it if i didn't have any pain, No, I would not. Would I stop if the pain suddenly went away, No, i would carry on. Other lie, "be careful Mike, you don't want to OD" reality "Please let this be the time you don't wake up"
 
Trying it now will satisfy my curiosity and prevent me from using again in the future.

Lol.
 
Biggest lie:
"If I just rail one more line, I'll mentally tackle the cocaine gods and I won't have to ever use again"

Most common lie:
"I'll go to an AA meeting tomorrow, just not tonight"
 
dankhead88 said:
Fuck it. It's my last dose. Might as well end it with a bang before I quit.
*Next Day*
Fuck, I need to re-up. I'm sick as shit.
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LOL I said the same thing once. That was the first time I OD'd.
I love this thread. So, I've been badly addicted to xanax and oxy, but surprisingly my worst excuses were about weed. I'm on probation and up until somewhat recently, I was a drug dealer and smoked weed every day. I'm also a young father with a baby and if I ever failed a drug test, my baby would get taken away from me.
Pretty good reason to not smoke weed, right? I had so many excuses. I think my worst one was, "selling weed keeps me connected to my friends". XD
 
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