Help! Will I ever recover from MDMA induced anxiety?

[lilylove12749]

Hi so a bit of backstory, I took 0.3g of MDMA one and a half months ago. Two days after this I had tachycardia of a heart rate of 140bpm for two days straight. I went to the hospital and they did an EKG that came back as normal and they said that it will resolve by itself and was a combination of the comedown.


After this, I assume because of having a weak immune system during this time I got tonsillitis, went to various doctors had three rounds of antibiotics. The doctors assured me my heart issues were anxiety related but I somehow am always doubting it. Since the tonsillitis I've had a cold and blocked ears for about two months which I'm not sure what it is.


Because this was so traumatic (I think?) I started having pretty bad anxiety where I would keep getting worried about my heart rate going up and it was pretty fast a lot of the time. So I bought a Fitbit which showed that my resting heart rate was always between 71-65 bpm over the two weeks that I've been wearing it. This was reassuring but I do see my heart rate going to around 100 bpm when just sitting.


The anxiety started to resolve lately and I wasn't feeling anxious most days and didn't think about my heart much. I started going out again and even drinking!

But a few days ago I was put on an antibiotic for my persistent ear infection and made the mistake of having a mojito. (I know I probably shouldn't have drank)

This was going so well...


Until yesterday. I noticed my heart rate was 110 on my fitbit (after I got home from drinking the mojito), I watched it sail all the way to 130 bpm. This reminded me of that first comedown after the MDMA and I was so scared. I called 999 but they said that they wouldn't send an ambulance because this isn't serious. So I went to the ER and had multiple tests done and was told it was probably because I was ill (a slight temperature) and a combination of anxiety (did another EKG and blood work to find nothing abnormal).

Today I feel like I'm back at square one, had that anxious butterfly feeling in my stomach and the anxiety pains underneath my chest.


Please help I don't want this to ruin my life I'm only 19! Did the MDMA cause this and is it also responsible for these cold-like symptoms that wont go away either?

 

[Mafioso]

I didn't read this post in detail yet, I will post an updated response in a minute, but I just want to start out by saying that YES, you can recover. It might be wise to accept the possibility that you may never fully recover does exist, but try to remain hopeful and positive. Things can always get better and things can always get worse. You are so young and your brain and body is still developing well into your mid to late 20's. If you start taking care of yourself right now you can make tremendous progress and likely a full recovery over the years.

 

[Mafioso]

Ok so a couple things come to mind. First, increased anxiety will be expected after taking mdma or similar psychoactive substances. MDMA, in particular, depletes serotonin which is a chemical in the brain called a neurotransmitter that is used to regulate emotions in the body. High levels of serotonin are synonymous with happiness and euphoria, low levels are synonymous with sadness and depression. The anxiety you mention could definitely be related to the comedown/low levels of serotonin and other neurotransmitters. Proper nutrition, healthy eating and sleeping habits, exercise, abstinence from all psychoactive substances(alcohol included) are things that can all help make sure you body has what it needs to build these chemicals and achieve healthy levels. Not a "fix" but these things will help.

Secondly, worry is definitely going to increase anxiety and your heart rate. You are so young to be so worried about your heart- is there any health condition justifying this concern?

I understand you are going through some stuff and are likely experience some physical symptoms related to your MDMA use, but it would be wise to put these worries to bed. It doesn't sound like they are a sign of anything serious, more that you are just stressing yourself out with excessive worry.

Any damage that is done has already been done. Doesn't do much good to sit there and highlight every area and aspect of your life that has been affected. It's best to put your effort into focusing on what you can do to make a positive difference. Things like a period of abstinence to allow your brain and body to heal. You don't have to quit forever but it might be wise to lay off everything for a 6-12 months if not more. I know it's hard at that age but if the drugs are causing the problems things will only get worse.

I can't say for certain one way or the other about your physical health, it's possible your immune system was compromised.


Did you have any problems with anxiety prior to using MDMA?

 

[lilylove12749]

Thanks so much for your reply.

I have never had any health conditions or anxiety problems before this. I was completely carefree and I miss that person, hell I didn't even know how to check my own pulse. Now it's something I have to do everyday to put my mind at ease.

I was always completely healthy, I'm not sure if this anxiety has caused me to be more in tune with my body but I tend to feel every single twitch and vibration that happens. And it's so scary especially because I don't want it to take over my life and I've heard of situations in which people have to deal with this for years and years.

Do you think the fact that it was almost gone for 2 weeks straight before my last episode shows that a full recovery seems likely?

 

[Mafioso]

You mean your anxiety was gone for about 2 weeks before the last episode? It would seem like it if that's the case. Taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally will greatly increase that likelihood as well. Everything positive you do is increasing the likelihood of a complete recovery.

Does checking your pulse really put your mind at ease, or is it more of a compulsion you do in the moment as a result of a sort of obsession?

 

[lilylove12749]

I?m sleeping an average of 9 hours a night which is how it was before and I have absolutely no trouble falling asleep. This is the one thing I am very happy is this way.

I?ve never really been into exercise or nutrition as I?m a student and don?t make the time however I?ve heard that this can help a great deal.

I socialise and do everything as I did before however find that when I?m alone in my room my anxiety is worse and when I?m with people I feel like my old self.

I tried meditation but it made me think about my anxiety too much so I stopped.

I just tend to have days where I feel almost normal and days when I really don?t but I want all of the days to be good again

Maybe having this cold for ages has added to this perhaps after I recover from that it will be easier...

 

[lilylove12749]

Yes it was gone for 2 weeks and I?m not sure but having my heartbeat logged into my Fitbit and seeing how low it really is a lot of the time did bring me comfort. However I may be checking it a little more than I should..