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is it worth it?

losangeles1993

losangeles1993

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 12, 2017
Messages
228
im almost 5 days sober off Heroin and my life hasnt gotten better ...as a matter of fact its been even shittier than when i was using ...i want to quit sooo badly to get my lady back happy with me and not be sick and have my family not look down on me... but i feel i burned all my bridges already and stole from everyone too many times...i dont see the light at the end of the tunnel
 
sorry if this isnt in the right thread...im just confused and really going thru it right now
 
Yeah it's worth it man, it's hard as hell... but everything worth doing is, and it takes time to get better, I've been clean 6 months and I'm just starting to come back from it.
 
i have a connect ON MY STREET i can leave and be high in 4 minutes...but yoo i dont want that life anymore ...i got until sunday off from work and ive been off since monday..i wont get another chance to have time off of work like this ...i have to this now or never
 
It's so worth it. I'm on methodone 3 years off heroin. I'm laying here not worried about my fix. It's nice. I can't remember the last time I had a serious craving for heroin. You just gotta put time between it and you
 
I'm a few months off oxy (a couple relapses here and there but I'm still winning in my book), on self prescribed bupe but IMO that's better than the former. As aforementioned, nothing worth it comes easy and not having to worry about your next fix is definitely at the top of my list. Maybe it doesn't feel like it now, but it is very much worth it.
 
when will i feel normal?? its day 6 today and everyones comments are really helping me no lie...i have zero support group...like none at all...i think im gonna hit a meeting tonight
 
losangeles1993 said:
when will i feel normal?? its day 6 today and everyones comments are really helping me no lie...i have zero support group...like none at all...i think im gonna hit a meeting tonight
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Everyday you get closer to normal... keep it going. It's a really hard thing you are doing, but you are strong – very – you are doing this without subs or methadone? Good on you!! I think you're about to see some light.
 
losangeles, did you go CT? I didn't see any mention about comfort meds. There are a few things that you can get from your doc, some you need to be careful with and some relatively safe to take that will ease your WD symptoms. But day 6 you should be physically feeling better and entering PAWS.
 
until you feel normal.. months. but there will be a lot of moments where you can enjoy life without a filter. stay strong! maybe look into support groups like NA, AA, smart recovery.
 
soo in the summer i had a whole script of subs...but being the junkie i am i traded them all...on Monday i took 2mg and Tuesday i took 2mg ...i havent took shit else except for vitamins and loperamide ...im taking about 15 loperamide per day tho..which i know is bad...
 
yeah pretty much dude...i last got high on saturday night at 8pm in a Dennys bathroom lol ...and i had half a suboxone pill which i saved for Monday and Tuesday i split the 4mg in 2 and took one monday morning and one on tuesday morning...i get waves of emotions..sometimes i feel this is it i think im actually done and sometimes i feel i need to get high..all within 1 hour my mood can change
 
6 days is a huge win. You are in marathon, though. Not a sprint, unfortunately. You should look at some posts from Toothpastedog. He's really inspired me when I felt like the feeling shitty was never gonna end. It will. Trust me. A little over 2 months since my opioid receptors have been artificially stimulated and I'm almost completely back to "normal."

You can do this. And you deserve it.
 
yeah when i first made this account i used to talk to TPD ...hes a LA local..we were supposed to go to some meetings but never fell thru...im gonna message him..
 
Hang in there - I'm not there yet but I'm trying too - I just keep telling myself to remember life before and how good it was. Remember that?
 
yes yes i remember ..i used to wake up soo energized and ready to take on the day...i used to take the train to downtown which takes around 2 hours and then work for 10 hours and take the train back home and STILL BE ENERGIZED ...i just want my old self back.....now if i walk up stairs i start sweating ...and im in really good shape
 
just came back from a meeting....i needed that soo badly...it seriously felt like i was high...it was an amazing natural high
 
losangeles1993 said:
im almost 5 days sober off Heroin and my life hasnt gotten better ...as a matter of fact its been even shittier than when i was using ...i want to quit sooo badly to get my lady back happy with me and not be sick and have my family not look down on me... but i feel i burned all my bridges already and stole from everyone too many times...i dont see the light at the end of the tunnel
Click to expand...

It's obviously worth it. 5 days isn't a long time to get your life/act together man.
 
losangeles1993 said:
just came back from a meeting....i needed that soo badly...it seriously felt like i was high...it was an amazing natural high
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I've been in recovery, although still on Suboxone maintenance, for almost nine years, and I still try to go to meetings every few days. They do make me feel great most of the time! You have a long life in front of you that will be much brighter for being heroin-free. Keep up the great work!
 
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